Job Interview Comic Strips - Page 39

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993 Results for Job Interview

View 381 - 390 results for job interview comic strips. Discover the best "Job Interview" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags presentation, meeting, the end, apathy, hate, questions, business

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Dilbert says, "That's my plan. I'd like to thank all of you for your utter apathy." Dilbert says, "A few of your stayed awake, and I think I got some accidental eye contact once when the A.C. made a noise." Dilbert says, "In conclusion, I hate my job, I hate my coworkers, and I hope feral cats eat every one of you." Coworker says, "Are you taking questions?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags update, script, accomplish, work, suspicious

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Wally says, "I made a script to write from the UFR SQL function to a log table I created for the DB so I can find the parameter errors." Wally says, "I'm giving you this status update while the script is running, so I'm accomplishing two things now." The Boss says, "How do I know you really did that thing you just said?" Wally says, "I guess now I'm doing your job too."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags wide eyes, merger, hope, status, upgrade, nonexistent, unimportant, job, business

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The Boss says, "The people buying our company don't know that your project exists." The Boss says, "And you're not allowed to talk to anyone over there. But don't lose hope." The Boss says, "I'm working hard to upgrade your status from nonexistent to unimportant."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags lose job, merger, worry, good word, recommendation, drink coffee, observation

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The Boss says, "I wouldn't worry about losing your job after the merger." Dilbert says, "Because you put in a good word for me?" The Boss says, "No, it's more of an observation that I don't worry about other people's jobs."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags job interview, sales, travel, business, idiot, angry

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The Boss says, "The opening is in sales. Do you like to travel." Man says, "Yes. It's my favorite thing." The Boss says, "No one likes business travel. You're either an idiot or you've never done business travel." Man says, "How dare you accuse me of not traveling."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags favor, excuse, integration manager, director of sustainability, real, matrix management, neo

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Coworker says, "Wally, would you??" Wally says, "No. I'm doing something important for the brand integration manager." Coworker says, "Maybe after that you could?" Wally says, "Then I'm doing a rush job for the director of sustainability." Coworker says, "Are those even real people?" Wally says, "Welcome to Matrix management, Neo."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags report, strategy, boss' job, labels, managing

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Alice says, "We've pieced together the fragments of your poor communication and believe we have deduced your strategy." Alice says, "It appears that you are trying to get paid for doing little more than giving stupid labels to things." The Boss says, "It's called managing!" Alice says, "Good one."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags customer support, customer service, rodent, talk on phone, creepy personal questions, waste of time, refund

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Ratbert's customer support Ratbert says, "You're speaking to a powerless rodent." Ratbert says, "My job is to prevent you from getting to anyone who is authorized to give refunds." Ratbert says, "I'd like to begin by asking you some creepy personal questions."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags job interview, master plan, identity theft, look-alikes

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Wally says, "If I hire you, you'll get minimum wage to attend meetings and pretend you're me." Wally says, "My plan is to get hired for several jobs and replace myself with low-paid look-alikes in each one." Man says, "My plan is to bury you in a shallow grave and assume your identity." Wally says, "You don't interview well."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags tiger team, boring job, sarcastic, yell, mouth open, tiger costumes, moving junk

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The Boss says, "Carol, form a tiger team to move the junk from the small conference room." Carol says, "I'm glad you call it a tiger team so I don't feel sad that my job involves relocating junk." Carol says, "Could I be less happy right now?!!" The Boss says, "I ordered tiger costumes."