10 Year Anniversary Comic Strips - Page 39

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

415 Results for 10 Year Anniversary

View 381 - 390 results for 10 year anniversary comic strips. Discover the best "10 Year Anniversary" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally's Invention Goes Into Production

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Invention Goes Into Production - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags invention, success, laziness, fairness, unfair

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: The board decided to put your invention of a phone charger that warms coffee into production. Market surveys show enormous demand. You're probably going to be our Employee Of The Year. This disturbs me on many levels. Wally: Genius is often disruptive.

Dilbert Red Pills Asok

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Red Pills Asok - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags jargon, language, nonsense, productivity, illusion, alternate reality

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Nothing in this dimension is real. Asok: Double-click on that. Dilbert: The jargon matrix is where people imagine they are being useful. But in reality, they are sitting in a chair doing nothing. Asok: I just made a ten-year technology plan.

Getting The Wrong Answer

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Getting The Wrong Answer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags budget, spending, Advice, money

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: As you can see from my financial projections, doing a major upgrade now would be unwise. Boss: I need to spend my entire budget this year so they won't give me a smaller budget next year. Dilbert: It seems you have wasted my time. Boss: It's not my fault you got the wrong answer.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags argument, anger, frustration, trolling, needling

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: And that's how much money the new system will save us per year. Man: Apparently you don't care how much it costs because you're an ignorant narcissist. Dilbert: I talked about the costs in great detail. What's wrong with you? Man: Oh, I guess you're walking it all back now. Dilbert: There's nothing to walk back. I'm saying the same thing I said earlier. Man: Nice try, hypocrite! Dilbert: I don't know what is happening right now!!! Man: Why is he so defensive? Boss: He's losing it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, accomplishment, narcissist, narcissism, review, firing, excuse

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: The Underperforming Narcissist. Boss: Topper, you've accomplished nothing this year. Topper: Are you kidding? I'm the greatest employee this world has ever seen! Boss: You have literally done nothing useful for a year. Topper: Don't be ridiculous. Everyone knows that "less is more." And I've done far less than anyone. Wally: Sorry I'm late. I thought I heard an animal trapped in my car's engine. Boss: Did you do less than Wally? Topper: Maybe we could continue this talk when he's not in the office. Wally: Any time before 11 a.m. is usually good.

Sunk Costs

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Sunk Costs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags money, big business, logic, loss, deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The economics of the project have changed. We need to shut it down. Boss: If we stop now, the $10 million we already spent will be wasted. Dilbert: And if we stop later? Boss: The trick is to never finish the project.

Wally's Stealth Drone

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Stealth Drone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deception, deceit, drone, technology, invention, fake

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: In my right hand is a standard drone. In my left hand is a drone using the cloaking technology I invented. Voices: Ooh! Wow! Wally: I'll demonstrate it flying as soon as I finish the noise cancellation. CEO: Employee of the year!

Dilbert Speaks Truth To Power

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Speaks Truth To Power - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags award, irony, honesty, truth

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Dilbert gets the Employee Of The Year award for speaking truth to power. Dilbert: Thanks, but all I do is agree with whatever ridiculous thing you say because it's just easier that way. Boss: Just take the stupid award! Dilbert: I'm honored.

Contractor Wants To Be Employee

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Contractor Wants To Be Employee - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags negotiation, contract work, contractor, pay.wages

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I've been a contractor here for over a year. Maybe you should just hire me. Boss: Who are you? I didn't even know I was paying you. Man: Perhaps we can pretend this conversation never happened. Boss: That feels like the best option.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags argument, boss, business, change, frustration, managers & supervisors, money, salary, company

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I can't give you a raise because you didn't accomplish anything this year. Dilbert: Are you insane? I completely redesigned our line of products!!! Boss: That was mostly last year. Dilbert: You didn't give me a raise last year because I wasn't finished until January of this year. Now you aren't giving me a raise this year because I did most of the work last year. Give me one reason I shouldn't quit right now! Boss: Because every other company is just as bad. And you don't like change. Dilbert: I said one reason!