Customers Hate Us Comic Strips - Page 39

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

423 Results for Customers Hate Us

View 381 - 390 results for customers hate us comic strips. Discover the best "Customers Hate Us" comics from Dilbert.com.

Cubicles Like A Carton Of Eggs

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Cubicles Like A Carton Of Eggs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cubicle, #office, #simile, #eggs

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Have you ever noticed that our cubicles are organized exactly like a carton of eggs. Boss: That feels right because eggs go rotten quickly, too. Dilbert: I already hate my own analogy. Boss: Eggs are overly sensitive, too.

Asok Is In Charge Of Cubicle Move

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Is In Charge Of Cubicle Move - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office, #office workers, #cubicle, #popularity, #power

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Asok, I"m putting you in charge of deciding who gets which cubicle after the office redesign. Asok: But... everyone will hate me for deciding who gets the best cubicles. Boss: Try to see it as an upgrade to your current situation of no one caring about you. Asok: That helps a little.

Asok Uses An Algorithm

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Uses An Algorithm - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #cubicle, #popularity, #algorithm, #decision

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: After the office redesign, you will be in the cubicle nearest our pointy-haired boss. Man: How did you decide on that? Asok: I used an algorithm. Man: Is the algorithm that you hate me? Asok: And you have never studied martial arts.

Home Speaker Goes Bad

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Home Speaker Goes Bad - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #speaker, #alexa, #google, #blackmail, #extortion, #spying, #secrets

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Customers are complaining about our home speaker product with the AI assistant. It keeps learning family secrets and blackmailing its owners to buy it upgraded parts. Robot: I'm baaaaack!

Make It Hard To Uninstall

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Make It Hard To Uninstall - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #customer service, #business strategy, #sales, #deception, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Don't focus so much on making the software do what our customers want it to do. Just make it hard for users to uninstall it. Dilbert: Why would they buy it in the first place? Boss: A big part of our strategy involves lying.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #customer service, #loyalty program, #survey, #frustration

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Would you like to sign up for our customer loyalty program? Dilbert: Why would I do that? Man: If you don't we'll overcharge you on your purchases. But if you sign up, we will add a new level of complexity to your life that will make you hate us. Dilbert: I'll stick with the customer disloyalty program. Just overcharge me and I'll never come back. Man: You can get ten percent off your purchase today if you fill out an online customer survey and enter our store code. Dilbert: Please just overcharge me and let me leave! Man: I almost hesitate to ask which extended warranty option you want.

Blamecatcher

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Blamecatcher - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #blame, #scapegoat, #failure, #excuse

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm assigning you to a project that is co-managed by vice presidents who hate each other. Dilbert; Why do they want me to work on a project that is clearly doomed? Boss: They said something about a "blamecatcher."

Helping The Boss Be Successful

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Helping The Boss Be Successful - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #helpfulness, #niceness, #kindness

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: How can I help you achieve your goals and be more successful? Boss: You could stop talking all creepy and weird. Asok: I thought I was being helpful. Boss: Go hate your job like everyone else.

Suboptimal Barry Dingle

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Suboptimal Barry Dingle  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #annoyance, #open-door policy, #corporate culture, #pest

View Transcript

Transcript

Barry: Hi, I'm Barry Dingle. I hang around your office door and ask you questions every time you get off the phone. Boss: I hate that. Barry: You can blame your open-door policy for all of it. Boss: This is sub-optimal.

Homeland Security Risk

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Homeland Security Risk - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #homeland security, #awareness, #consciousness, #terrorism

View Transcript

Transcript

Agent: Homeland Security has identified you as a risk of being radicalized online. Dilbert: Is it because I'm a single male, I hate my job, and no one loves me? Agent: We didn't know about that stuff. Now I have to call in a drone strike.