Dilberts Mom Comic Strips - Page 39

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 2002's comic on:


Tags #grow beard, #while unemployed, #message, #who you are, #shopping cart, #filthy rags

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Dogbert is sitting on Dilbert's bed. Dilbert asks, "Do you think I should grow a beard while I'm unemployed?" Dogbert replies, "That's a great idea. A beard sends a message about who you are." Dilbert responds, "Um.. Okay." Dogbert says, "I assume you already have a shopping cart and filthy rags."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 29, 2002's comic on:


Tags #man hater, #angry women, #pantsuits, #turned on, #decisive, #supervisor

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The Boss is standing with an angry looking woman. The Boss says to Dilbert, "I hired a man-hater to be your supervisor." Dilbert responds, "Why?' The Boss replies, "Frankly, I'm kinda turned on by angry women in pantsuits." The Boss' head is smashed down and Dilbert's coffee is poured all over his head. The Boss says, "She's decisive. I like that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 30, 2002's comic on:


Tags #alice in charge, #drink coffee, #insulting, #man hating supervisor, #hates men, #picks on wally

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The Boss is standing with an angry looking woman. The Boss says to Dilbert, "I hired a man-hater to be your supervisor." Dilbert responds, "Why?' The Boss replies, "Frankly, I'm kinda turned on by angry women in pantsuits." The Boss' head is smashed down and Dilbert's coffee is poured all over his head. The Boss says, "She's decisive. I like that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 21, 2002's comic on:


Tags #elbonians, #classified ad, #nuclear war head, #russian craftsmanship, #third world countries, #slingshot, #hundred yards

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Two Elbonians show up at Dilbert's house door. Dogbert opens. An Elbonian says, "We saw your classified ad for a nuclear warhead." Dogbert says, "It's genuine Russian craftsmanship, ideal for menacing other third-world countries." An Elbonian responds, "Sweet." An Elbonian holds the warhead and says, "Our slingshot can fling this a hundred yards. Is that enough?" Dogbert looks at their briefcase full of money and says, "That's plenty."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 13, 2000's comic on:


Tags #marketing to planning meeting, #sabotage implementation, #hose the plan, #implementation, #same reason for children

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Dilbert is at the Boss's desk. The Boss tells Dilbert: "Don't invite marketing to the planning meeting." Dilbert replies: "If I don't, they'll sabotage the implementation." The Boss says: "Yes, but if you DO include them in the planning..." Dilbert finishes the Boss's thought: "...they'll hose the plan?" The Boss confirms Dilbert's statement: "Exactly." The Boss continues: "And they'll still botch the implementation." Dilbert asks: "If we know it's doomed, why do we bother?" The Boss answers: "It's the same reason I had kids." Dilbert thinks to himself while walking away: "At least there is a reason."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 04, 2002's comic on:


Tags #mouse training, #mandatory, #western grip, #carpal tunnel, #weak muscles, #two handed mouse, #massage, #back

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Dilbert is sitting at his computer. Tina approaches and says, "I'm signing up people for the mandatory mouse training club." Tina continues, "I see you're using a Western grip. That's just begging for carpal tunnel." Tina grabs Dilbert's wrist and says, "Weak muscles... I'll put you in the two- handed mouse class." Dilbert responds, "Ouch."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 06, 2002's comic on:


Tags #temp requested, #afraid of commitment, #stand like this, #no chair needed

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Carol brings a man into Dilbert's cubicle and says, "Here's the temp you requested." Dilbert extends his hand. The temp backs up and exclaims, "Gaaa!! No handshake! I'm afraid of commitment!!" The temp motions as if he is running and says, "I won't need a chair. I like to stand in this position."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 15, 2002's comic on:


Tags #emergency meeting, #five minutes, #warm and cozy, #cubicle paradise, #sound of not caring

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Carol enters Dilbert's cubicle and says, "There's an emergency strategy meeting in five minutes." Dilbert responds, "I was all warm and cozy in my cubicle paradise. Why must you ruin it?" Carol puts her hand up to her ear and asks, "Can you hear the sound of me not caring?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 2002's comic on:


Tags #cruel invention, #disposible, #evil, #fossil fuel, #lackey, #life, #no prupose, #no purpose

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Dogbert is sitting in front of Dilbert's magnetic cancellation wheel. Bob the Dinosaur approaches and says, "My dream was to someday decompose and become fossil fuel." Bob continues, "But Dilbert's cruel invention will make fuel unnecessary. Now my life has no purpose!' Dogbert replies, "You can be my disposable evil lackey." Bob responds, "I-I-I can?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 29, 2003's comic on:


Tags #corporations, #ignore, #jumpy tactics, #laid off, #you might be next, #your imagination

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Dilbert is at home. He says to Dogbert, "I'm seeing signs that I might get laid off." Dogbert responds, "It's probably your imagination. Just ignore them." Catbert and The Boss are hanging an arrow-shaped sign that reads, "You might be next" on Dilbert's cubicle. Catbert says, "I have to admit that I like it when they're jumpy."