End Of Date Comic Strips - Page 39

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398 Results for End Of Date

View 381 - 390 results for end of date comic strips. Discover the best "End Of Date" comics from Dilbert.com.

Work Until You Drop

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Work Until You Drop - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 16, 2017's comic on:


Tags #health, #monitor, #fitbit, #energy, #surveillance, #wearable tech, #dedication, #work ethic

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Boss: Your health tracker says you are leaving work at the end of each day with energy to spare. That's exactly like stealing from the company. Dilbert: You want me to work until I drop? Boss: I'm not allowed to say that directly.

Let's Do The Meeting Later

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Let's Do The Meeting Later - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 18, 2017's comic on:


Tags #fitbit, #health, #monitor, #wearable tech, #surveillance

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Dilbert: According to your employee health monitor, your lack of sleep last night is hampering your mental functions. Let's end the meeting and try again when your brain is working better. Man: I don't understand. Dilbert: That is consistent with the data.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 2018's comic on:


Tags #network, #optics, #stupid company, #Women, #imagination, #flirting, #miscommunication, #co workers, #argument, #women in management, #employees, #business

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Carol: do you have lunch plans? Dilbert: Aren't you married? Carol: Im not asking you out on a date, Im trying to network. Dilbert: The optics wouldn't be good. Carol: How am I supposed to network in this stupid company? Dilbert: Maybe you could network with other women. Carol: This company has no women in management! Now I see the problem. Its people like you! Dilbert: Is it my imagination or was she flirting with me? Wally: I can't tell.

Mothman Detects Energy

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Mothman Detects Energy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 15, 2018's comic on:


Tags #workload, #talking, #socializing, #conversation

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The Storytelling Mothman. Mothman: I detect the energy of an employee with a high workload. I'm here to tell you a long story that you think will never end. Alice: That is the last thing I need right now. Mothman: Do you know the history of the paper clip?

Artificial Deadlines

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Artificial Deadlines - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 24, 2018's comic on:


Tags #deadline, #logic, #motivation, #excuses

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Woman: You've been promising me you'd finish the web page for the last six months. Wally: This is your fault for not giving me an artificial deadline. Woman: Okay. I need it by end of day. Wally: And miss my dental appointment??

Feedback From Twitter Guy

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Feedback From Twitter Guy  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 25, 2018's comic on:


Tags #feedback, #criticism, #social media, #twitter, #tweet, #troll, #technology

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Dilbert: Do you have any feedback on my idea? Man: Yes. You're weak and stupid, and everyone you love will end up in jail. Dilbert: Do you spend a lot of time on Twitter? Man: Is that a lucky guess or are you spying on me?

Dating A Coworker

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Dating A Coworker - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 25, 2018's comic on:


Tags #dating, #relationships, #office policy, #rules, #human resources, #business

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Dilbert: Can I date a co-worker? Catbert: I doubt it. You're not attractive, funny, or rich. Dilbert: I mean, is it allowed under company rules? Catbert: We only have rules about things that might happen.

Robot Learns Human Behavior

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Robot Learns Human Behavior - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 01, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #coffee, #bug, #robot, #sexist, #racist

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Dilbert: I built a robot that learns human behavior by observation. By the end of the first week it was a sexist, racist idiot. The Boss: Can you fix that bug? Dilbert: Some say climate change will get it done.

Social Media Ads To Influence

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Social Media Ads To Influence - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 12, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #brain-reading, #computer, #social media, #profile, #friends, #testing, #influence, #cyborg, #ridiculous, #phone

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Dilbert: My brain-reading computer is checking your social media profile and finding your friends. I am now testing social media posts to see which ones influence them to recommend that to you date a cyborg. Woman: That's the most ridiculous thing I have ever. Dilbert: check your phone.

Speakerphones

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Speakerphones - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 06, 2018's comic on:


Tags #boss, #criticism, #distraction, #managers & supervisors, #office, #office workers, #phone call, #sarcasm

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Dilbert: I accomplished nothing this week because my idiot co-workers continue to use their speakerphones in the office. This is compounded by the fact that my idiot boss doesn't allow me to work from home. If you need me, I'll be sitting in my cubicle doing nothing but waiting for other people's phone calls to end.