Idea Is Ridiculous Comic Strips - Page 39

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

432 Results for Idea Is Ridiculous

View 381 - 390 results for idea is ridiculous comic strips. Discover the best "Idea Is Ridiculous" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags analogy, hyperbole, exaggeration

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Once we have all of the vendors' bids, we will pick the best one. Man: Oh, great, so you're saying we should be exactly like serial killers? Dilbert: Uh... what? Man: Serial killers also choose their victims. Can't you see the warning flags here? You're basically promoting murder. Dilbert: That is literally the most ridiculous and unhelpful analogy of all time. I doubt you could come up with a worse analogy, no matter how hard you tried. Man: Hitler said something like that before invading Poland. Boss: Good point.

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Ted Promoted To Software Architect

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted Promoted To Software Architect - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags manager, Promotion, intelligence, logic, obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I promoted Ted to software architect because he doesn't know how to code. At first I thought it was a bad idea. Then I remembered that sometimes monkeys are astronauts. Dilbert: You know the monkeys don't fly the rocket, right? Boss: And Ted won't be writing code.

Focus Groups Are Unreliable

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Focus Groups Are Unreliable - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags focus groups, strategy, logic

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our focus groups don't like our new product idea. Boss: No problem. Focus groups aren't reliable. Dilbert: Why do we pay for unreliable information? Boss: We can't afford the other kind.

Soul Killing Tasks

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Soul Killing Tasks - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work, pleasure, toil, fulfillment, engagement

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Hey, I have a great idea. Maybe I could work on interesting projects instead of the soul-killing tasks you always assign to me. Boss: Why would I pay you for enjoying yourself? Dilbert: I was not prepared for that question.

Too Dumb To Understand

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Too Dumb To Understand - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags insult, intelligence, ego

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Your idea will never work. Dilbert: That's because you're too dumb to understand it. My idea would look brilliant if you were sixty percent smarter. Man: I don't know how to respond to that. Dilbert: That's consistent with my hypothesis.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, accomplishment, narcissist, narcissism, review, firing, excuse

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: The Underperforming Narcissist. Boss: Topper, you've accomplished nothing this year. Topper: Are you kidding? I'm the greatest employee this world has ever seen! Boss: You have literally done nothing useful for a year. Topper: Don't be ridiculous. Everyone knows that "less is more." And I've done far less than anyone. Wally: Sorry I'm late. I thought I heard an animal trapped in my car's engine. Boss: Did you do less than Wally? Topper: Maybe we could continue this talk when he's not in the office. Wally: Any time before 11 a.m. is usually good.

Dogbert The Loan Shark

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert The Loan Shark - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags loan, loan shark, money, racket, interest

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need a loan to finance my professional gambling. Dogbert: That sounds like an excellent idea. I charge 40 percent interest per day, and I'll kill you for missing a payment. Boss: What's the catch? Dogbert: I'm also an identity thief.

Success Diminishes Other Guy

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Success Diminishes Other Guy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ideas, diminshed, support, stab me, great deas, discussion, argument

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: Your idea is great, but I plan to oppose it because I feel diminished by the success of others. Dilbert: Maybe you could support it now and then stab me in the back later. Ted: That's two great ideas you've had today. Dilbert: thank you.

Absurd Absolute

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Absurd Absolute - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags software upgrade, idiot, absurd absolute, admit when wrong, eaten unicorn

View Transcript

Transcript

You're an idiot if you think the software upgrade will solve every one of our problems. Dilbert: Or are you an idiot for characterizing my reasonable idea as an absurd absolute? Why cant you admit when you're wrong? Dilbert: Same reason you've never eaten a unicorn.

Wally Pivots

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Pivots - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work ethic, laziness, deception, projects

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: My project was failing, so I pivoted to a different idea with the same name. Later, I'll change the project name to cover my tracks. Asok: What about your sunk costs? Wally: Gone like footprints in the sands of time.