Job Interview Comic Strips - Page 39
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993 Results for Job Interview
View 381 - 390 results for job interview comic strips. Discover the best "Job Interview" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday December 09,
2019
Sadist Designs Interface
Tags managers & supervisors, technology, user, interfaces, job, unwanted, customers, sadist, stockholm
Transcript
boss: i hired a sadist to design our user interfaces. i realize this isn't ideal, but no one else wanted the job. dilbert: why would our customers buy a product designed by a sadist? boss: it's called stockholm syndrome.
Friday January 17,
2020
Cross Training
Tags co-workers, business, cross train, fire, job, dumb, manager
Transcript
dilbert: our pointy-haired boss told me to ask you to cross-train me on your job junctions. ted: that sounds exactly like he plans to fire me as soon as you can do my job. dilbert: in my defense, he assured me you would be too dumb to realize that.
Sunday January 26,
2020
Buzzflawed Interview
Tags managment, business, reporter, cheat, suppliers, question
Transcript
carol: a reporter for buzz flawed wants to interview you. boss: i don't see any downside to that! reporter: my first question is, do you still cheat all of your suppliers? boss: no! of course not. reporter: so. you're admitting you cheated your suppliers in the past? boss: get out of my office, you evil monster! reporter: okay, i got what i needed. one week later: voice from boss's smartphone: "the pudgy miscreant could not hide his glee when bragging about cheating his suppliers."
Sunday February 02,
2020
Knowing What Wally Does
Tags business, managers & supervisors, performance, review, job, projects, expectations, heuristics
Transcript
boss: i can't give you a good performance review because you haven't performed up to expectations. wally: do you even know what my job is? boss: of course i do. you're an engineer. wally: yes, but do you know what projects i'm working on? boss: well, various things, and some miscellaneous things too. wally: how can you determine my job performance when you don't know what my job is? boss: have you heard of heuristics? you're bad at everything i've observed, so i assume you are bad at everything else as well. wally: you should have started with that.
Sunday April 05,
2020
No Time Before Next Meeting
Tags boss, business, care, co-workers, hate, job, lesson, meeting, nonesence, procrastinate, reality, report, stupid, technical, technology, time
Transcript
dilbert thinking: that meeting ran long, so now i have ten minutes before the next one. i'm suppose to bring a complete technical report, and i haven't even started it. i hate this stupid job! dilbert still thinking but showing signs of distress: i hate my boss! i hate my stupid co-workers! dilbert yelling: i don't care about anything anymore! dilbert thinking and typing on laptop: i'll just angrily slap together a bunch of nonsense and call it good. grrrrrr!!! in conference room. boss: this is your bet report ever. dilbert yelling: what? dilbert at home with dogbert: today i learned a dangerous lesson about reality.
Friday March 06,
2020
Judging By Looks
Tags business, interview, manager, judge, offensive, social media, nonesense
Transcript
boss: i'd like to offer you a job, but ten years ago you said something offensive on social media. interviewee: i'm not the same person i was ten years ago. you are judging me by the actions of someone who literally no longer exists. boss: i get your point, but if i go back to the old way of judging people by their looks, we still end up in the same place.
Thursday March 12,
2020
Selling Private Data
Tags business, job, management, cloud, data, people, private, information, laugh, market, sell, email, friend
Transcript
dogbert: the only reason i took a job managing cloud data is so i could laugh at people's private information. dogbert: then i discovered a robust market for selling that kind of stuff, so it's a twofer. dilbert: we need to talk. dogbert: sure. just email your thoughts to a friend, and i'll probably read them.
Tuesday March 17,
2020
Hiring Morons
Tags managers & supervisors, technology, business, technical, job, market, hire, moron, critical
Transcript
boss: the job market is so hot right now that we can only afford to hire morons. dilbert: how will we fill our critical technical jobs? boss: i just told you.
Tuesday March 24,
2020
Passion
Tags office workers, business, live, parents, passion, job, match, career, porcelain, frog, fault
Transcript
office worker: i still live with my parents because i can't find a job that matches my passion. dilbert: what is your passion? office worker: i collect porcelain frogs. dilbert: that isn't a career. office worker: how is that my fault?
Friday March 27,
2020
Ted Talks Might Take Your Job
Tags business, managers & supervisors, social media, technology, instagram, ted talks, smart, moron
Transcript
boss: the moron i hired keeps watching ted talks and getting smarter. he's only about three ted talks away from taking your job. ceo: there must be a way to slow him down. boss: i'll see if i can interest him in instagram.


