Last Ounce Of Happiness Comic Strips - Page 39
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416 Results for Last Ounce Of Happiness
View 381 - 390 results for last ounce of happiness comic strips. Discover the best "Last Ounce Of Happiness" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday October 27,
2017
Troll Has No Job
Tags #troll, #trolling, #social media, #twitter, #tweet, #time, #technology
Transcript
Boss: This troll on twitter refuses to let me have the last word. What kind of job does this idiot have that he can do this all day long??? Give me a few minutes here. Wally: Take your time.
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Saturday November 18,
2017
Let's Do The Meeting Later
Tags #fitbit, #health, #monitor, #wearable tech, #surveillance
Transcript
Dilbert: According to your employee health monitor, your lack of sleep last night is hampering your mental functions. Let's end the meeting and try again when your brain is working better. Man: I don't understand. Dilbert: That is consistent with the data.
Sunday January 07,
2018
Tags #hot peppers, #competition, #burned, #unedible, #face burned, #fire, #group, #face burn, #head, #flame
Transcript
Topper Dilbert: I tried a Habanero pepper last night, It almost burned off my face. Ted: Thats Nothing. I can eat the hottest peppers in the world and not even break a sweat. Dilbert: Im glad you said that, because I have with me the hottest peppers in the world. Ted: Pfft. easy. Gulp. FOOM! Dilbert: Will you admit you were wrong? Ted: You don't see any sweat , do you?
Sunday March 25,
2018
Tags #team, #teamwork, #collaboration, #excuses, #group project, #business
Transcript
Dilbert: Thank you all for coming. I'm hoping we can make a lot of progress in the next hour. Alice; I didn't get any sleep last night, so don't expect much from me. Asok: I'm so hungry I can barely think. Man 1: I might be a bit distracted today because my wife told me she wants to leave me. Wally: I can't stay for the whole meeting. I have another thing in a few minutes Man 2: I'm only here to sabotage your project because I can't abide the success of others. Dilbert; Why don't all of you leave now and I'll make all the decisions myself. Boss: How'd the team meeting go? Dilbert: Better than I expected.
Thursday March 15,
2018
Mothman Detects Energy
Tags #workload, #talking, #socializing, #conversation
Transcript
The Storytelling Mothman. Mothman: I detect the energy of an employee with a high workload. I'm here to tell you a long story that you think will never end. Alice: That is the last thing I need right now. Mothman: Do you know the history of the paper clip?
Saturday March 24,
2018
Artificial Deadlines
Tags #deadline, #logic, #motivation, #excuses
Transcript
Woman: You've been promising me you'd finish the web page for the last six months. Wally: This is your fault for not giving me an artificial deadline. Woman: Okay. I need it by end of day. Wally: And miss my dental appointment??
Sunday April 22,
2018
Tags #memory, #demagoguery, #social media, #Opinion, #technology
Transcript
Man: You said you hated this idea last week, but now you say you like it. How do you explain your flip-flopping? Dilbert: I always liked the idea. Nothing changed. Man: Hahaha! Nice try! You're back-pedaling because I busted you. Dilbert: Here is my email trail from the first moment the idea came up. As you can plainly see, I have liked the idea from the start. Any questions? Boss: Why is it so hard for you to admit you were wrong?
Saturday March 31,
2018
Anyone Fired Lately
Tags #blame, #fired, #scapegoat, #laziness, #excuse
Transcript
Wally: Before I give my project status report, has anyone quit or been fired recently? Boss: I fired Ted last week. Now tell me why your project is late. Wally: It was Ted's fault.
Thursday March 29,
2018
Doing Nothing
Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #logic
Transcript
Boss: Wally, do you remember that thing I asked you to do last month? Wally: No. Boss: Well, that's okay because something changed and I don't need it anymore. Wally: You're welcome. You'd be surprised how often doing nothing is as good as doing something.
Sunday May 13,
2018
Tags #berating, #yelling, #gaslight, #temper, #anger, #frustration
Transcript
Asok: What's that gadget? Woman: Are you freakin' serious? Asok: Yes. Woman: Oh... My... God. Do you not remember the long discussion about this thing in the last meeting? Are you trying to gaslight me? I have not patience for trolls! Eat dirt and die! Asok: I joined the project today. This is my first meeting. Woman: Liar! Dilbert: Welcome to the team.