Managers & Supervisors Comic Strips - Page 39
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469 Results for Managers & Supervisors
View 381 - 390 results for managers & supervisors comic strips. Discover the best "Managers & Supervisors" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday October 25,
2020
Refusing Customer Demands
Tags business, customer, demands, face mask, fault, Lose, managers & supervisors, refuse, sarcasm, technology
Transcript
dilbert: as you instructed, i refused to give in to our biggest customer's demands and they canceled all of their orders. boss: i didn't tell you to do that, you fool! dilbert: you told me to do exactly that. boss: i never told you to lose our biggest customer! dilbert: you told me to refuse their demands. boss: but i didn't tell you to lose the customer! dilbert yelling: it's the same thing!!! boss: the important thing here is that it's your fault. Dilbert yelling: i get it!!!
Tuesday October 06,
2020
Height Advantage
Tags company, employement, fired, height, hiring, managers & supervisors, pay cut, short, tall, video conferencing, zoom
Transcript
boss video conferencing with carl: carl, i hired you because you are tall, but now it doesn't matter because everyone looks the same height on zoom. your height advantage has disappeared, so today will be your last day with the company. carl: maybe instead you could cut my pay to the same level as short people. boss: that just might work.
Friday October 09,
2020
Wally Helps Coworkers
Tags accomplish, business, claim, co-workers, critical, help, lie, managers & supervisors, problem, teamwork, validate, face mask
Transcript
boss: what did you accomplish this week? wally: i helped several of my co-workers solve critical problems. boss: and if i asked them to validate your claim? wally: they're all huge liars.
Saturday October 10,
2020
Asok Is Overpaid
Tags managers & supervisors, business, project, technology, time, pay, argue, math, face mask, salary
Transcript
asok: i finished my project in half the projected time. boss: that means i'm paying you twice as much as you deserve. asok: i don't think it means that at all. boss: you look dumb arguing with math.
Monday October 12,
2020
People Enjoy Context
Tags managers & supervisors, video conference, zoom, customer, self, human, sarcasm, face mask
Transcript
boss: when you schedule the zoom call with the customer, be sure to include me. dilbert: do you plan to use up all of our time talking about yourself? boss: people enjoy context. dilbert: it's as if you have never met a human.
Wednesday October 14,
2020
Talk To The Experts
Tags answer, bribe, experts, face mask, faster, managers & supervisors, Opinion, plan, technology
Transcript
boss: i can't approve your plan until i know what the experts say. dilbert: i can save us some time by talking to the people who bribe the experts. i'll get the same answer, but faster. boss yelling: ouch! the truth hurts! dilbert: take a deep breath. it will pass.
Thursday October 15,
2020
Safety Record
Friday October 16,
2020
Protesters Surround Building
Tags face mask, fire, lobby, managers & supervisors, office building, protest, protesters, sign, support, business
Transcript
dilbert and boss looking out office window. dilbert: protesters have surrounded our building. boss: don't worry. i put a supportive sign in the lobby so they'll know we are on their side. dilbert: update: our nine lower floors are on fire. boss: maybe i should have used a bigger sign.
Saturday October 17,
2020
Lucky Profits
Tags bonus, business, compensation, executive, managers & supervisors, pandemic, sarcasm, technology, video conferencing, zoom, luck
Transcript
catbert to ceo: there's a problem with your executive compensation. the company made so much money during the pandemic, purely by luck, that your bonus would be ten million dollars. ceo: i earned it. catbert: you made zoom calls wearing only socks.
Sunday November 08,
2020
Banana Is Not An Apple
Tags anger, apple, argue, banana, business, doctored image, google, managers & supervisors, search, wrong
Transcript
dilbert holding out banana: i'm not hungry today. do you want my banana? boss: that's an apple. dilbert: um..no this is a banana. boss: clearly it is not. dilbert: i can't believe you are making me do a google search to prove i know what a banana is. see? those are bananas. this looks just like the photos. this is a banana. those images are doctored. dilbert yelling: there are a million banana images! they are not all doctored! boss: you know how i know you are wrong? because you never admit you are wrong. gotcha! dilbert yelling: that is not a thing!!! boss: that's exactly what all the people who are wrong say.


