Mean Coworkers Comic Strips - Page 39

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View 381 - 390 results for mean coworkers comic strips. Discover the best "Mean Coworkers" comics from Dilbert.com.

Why Not A Center Of Excellence

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Why Not A Center Of Excellence - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office, #excellence

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ceo: maybe we should creat a "center of excellence." the boss: what exactly does that mean? ceo: i think it means whatever we want it to mean. the boss: then what good is it? ceo: let's not get lost in the weeds.

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Phone Is More Interesting

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Phone Is More Interesting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cell phone, #criticism, #date, #dinner, #Entertainment, #men and women, #texting, #smartphone

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Tina: I just realized I enjoy using my phone more than I enjoy interacting with you. I mean, this thing is amazing, whereas you haven't found a way to entertain me all night. Dilbert: Maybe I'll grow on you. Tina: "Now he sounds like a tumor. LOl!"

Performance Versus Pay

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Performance Versus Pay - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #angry, #big business, #employees, #irritation, #managers & supervisors, #money, #salary

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Boss: I can't give you a bonus this year because we paid too much to buy another company. Dilbert: Are you saying my efforts and my rewards are no longer linked? Boss: Noooo. I'm not saying anything like that. I'm just saying your compensation isn't influenced by your performance. Dilbert: That's the same thing! Boss: Teamwork means we all share the rewards and we all have to share the pain. Dilbert: Does that mean management won't be getting bonuses either? Boss: Now you've made it awkward.

Dilbert Is Bad At Reading Faces

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Dilbert Is Bad At Reading Faces - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office workers, #psychology, #over sleeping, #pancakes, #hungry

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dilbert: i'm not good at reading faces. what does that one mean? man: it means i'm mad at myself for over sleeping and having to rush to work, so i hate your guts. dilbert: oh. i was guessing it was something about pancakes. probably because i'm hungry.

What If You Are In A Coma

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What If You Are In A Coma - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #cell phone, #client, #stupid, #liar, #insult, #understand, #die, #coma

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phone conversation dilbert: if you have any problems with the software, just give me a call. client: what if you die or you're in a coma? dilbert: well, in those cases i would not return your call. client: so you're lying about getting back to me. dilbert: no, i'm making a normal kind of generalization, which i assumed you would understand. client: okay, so now you're calling me stupid, and you're a liar? dilbert: if a liar calls you stupid, wouldn't that mean you are smart? client: fair point dilbert: thanks, i'm proud of it.

Others Have Failed

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Others Have Failed - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #idea, #technology, #rodent, #insult, #cheese, #business

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male employee: your idea won't work because others have already tried it and failed. dilbert: others have tried different things that simply remind you of my idea. i mean, you remind me of a rodent, but that doesn't prove you like cheese. employee: i love cheese

Reading Faces

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Reading Faces - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #meeting, #corrupt, #communists, #technology, #proposal, #reading faces

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co-worker: i can't support this project because you're all a bunch of corrupt, godless communists. dilbert: just out of curiosity, where did you get your education? co-worker: i learned everything i need to know on social media. dilbert: how does that help you evaluate a technical proposal? co-worker: it's simple. i take one look at all of your faces, and i know everything i need to know. co-worker looking at wally: i mean, look at this guy's face. he's obviously a grifter. wally: lucky guess. co-worker looking at alice: this one obviously has anger issues. dilbert: i demand a larger sample size! co-worker: whatever geek face.

Let Me Know If You Need Help

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Let Me Know If You Need Help - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office workers, #sarcasm, #teamwork, #help, #work, #awkward

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dilbert: if you need an help at all, just let me know. employee: i need a lot of help. be here at 8 am and plan to work late. dilbert: this is awkward, but i didn't mean a word of what i said.

Self Actualization

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Self Actualization - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #managers & supervisors, #business, #work, #talk, #listen, #self-actualized

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dilbert: i work every day, and yet i am not feeling completely self-actualized. boss: what's that mean? dilbert: i don't know. it's something i heard. boss: why are we even talking about it? dilbert: because the more i talk, the less i have to listen to you.

Work Harder Than Others

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Work Harder Than Others - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #motivation, #business, #employees, #managers, #work, #success

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boss: the only way to succeed in this company is by working harder than everyone else. alice: wouldn't that mean only one person in the company can be successful? boss: i might need to rethink my motivational messages. dilbert: maybe save those for your dumber employees.