Pay Cut Comic Strips - Page 39

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435 Results for Pay Cut

View 381 - 390 results for pay cut comic strips. Discover the best "Pay Cut" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sales personnel, salesman, sales, honesty, deception, stragegy, sociopath, lying, lie, business

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Man: I need you to join me on a sales call to tell my customer how easy it will be to switch to our software. Dilbert: It isn't easy. Man: This is a sales call. All you need to do is say everything will be easy. Dilbert: What happens when they find out it isn't easy? Man: They won't find out until after they pay us. Dilbert: What will you do when they complain? Man: I'll tell your boss you misled them. Dilbert: Not if I warn him first! Man: Too late. I already told him you're a liar.

I Used To Have A Nemesis

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I Used To Have A Nemesis - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags nemesis, enemy, logic, self esteem, anger, hate

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Man: I used to have a nemesis. Bit I cut out the middle person and learned to hate myself. Dilbert: That's dumb. Man: I told you I don't need you!

The Stem Gender Imbalance Explained

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The Stem Gender Imbalance Explained - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags gender, Women, technology, equality, gross, repulsion

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Robot: Researchers discovered why women are under-represented in stem careers. It's this guy. Wally: I used to cut my toenails every week, now I just wear bigger shoes. Woman: I quit.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags justice, trial, jury duty, laziness, lazy, juror, legal system

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Wally: I got called for jury duty. I'll probably be gone for weeks. I think I would be a good juror. As I understand the job, you sit in a chair doing nothing for hours. Boss: You're supposed to pay attention to the trial. Wally: That's what the other eleven people are for. There's a lot of redundancy in the system. Time to serve up some justice.

Employee Hat With Sensors

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Employee Hat With Sensors - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags mind control, thoughts, police, policing, work ethic, leisure, daydreaming, control, surveillance, legal

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Boss: The sensors in your employee hat tell me you are not having work-related thoughts. I have to dock your pay for all of that leisure time you try to sneak into your workday. Here's a screen shot of what you've been thinking. Dilbert: I'm going to remember this as a bad day.

Asok The Uber Driver

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Asok The Uber Driver - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags driver, taxi, ride share, rideshare, money, compensation, wages

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Asok: Today is my first day as an Uber driver. I love the flexibility! I only have to work 75 hours a week and can pay my rent. Man: With plenty left over? Asok: Are you going to finish that sandwich?

Try Not Being Boring

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Try Not Being Boring - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags motivation, inspiration, frustration, bored, boring, powerpoint, meeting, obliviousness, eric scott, business

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CEO: I don't think my motivational messages are getting through to the employees. I can't make them pay attention to anything. Catbert: Have you tried not being boring? CEO: Good idea. I'll make fifty slides of pure excitement.

Boss Gets Message From Identity Thief

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Boss Gets Message From Identity Thief  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags identity theft, internet, racism, reputation, guest artist, joel friday, technology

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Boss: They guy who stole my identity just sent me an email. He says, "Stop making racist comments on the internet. You're ruining my reputation." Ha! Take that! Carol: You always said it would pay off someday.

Do Not Talk To Ted

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Do Not Talk To Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags secret, keeping secrets, deception

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Boss: Don't talk to Ted until I have time to tell him I cut his project. Dilbert: When will that be? Boss: I don't know. My European vacation starts tomorrow. Ted: Do you have ten seconds to talk? Dilbert: Check back in fifteen days.

Entitled Employee Buys A Car

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Entitled Employee Buys A Car - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags entitled, entitlement, millennials, work ethic, lazy, consumerism

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The Entitled Employee. Man: I need a raise because I bought a luxury car. Boss: Your pay is based on your performance, not your personal expenses. Man: You leave me no choice but to keep the car and not pay for it. Boss: Tell them you deserve it.