Read Book Online Comic Strips - Page 39

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

399 Results for Read Book Online

View 381 - 390 results for read book online comic strips. Discover the best "Read Book Online" comics from Dilbert.com.

Resistance Is Futile

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Resistance Is Futile - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #invention, #thoughts, #computer, #commands, #individual, #part, #collective, #internet, #sexy, #resistance, #futile

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My invention can read my thoughts and turn them into computer commands. I'm no longer an individual. Now I'm part of the collective internet mind. Woman: That is the least sexy thing I have ever heard. Dilbert:

Narcissist

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Narcissist  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #confused, #ego, #jokes, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: You're a narcissist. Dilbert: You would need an inflated sense of your own importance to believe you can read my mind to compare my opinion of myself to your opinion of my worth. Tina: Huh? Dilbert: Sometimes my jokes are just for me.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #communication, #frustrated, #office, #office workers, #talking

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Did Alice talk to you about the cost estimates? Ted: Mumble mumble. Dilbert: I can't hear you. Ted: Mumble mumble!!! Dilbert: Now you're just mumbling louder. Ted: Mumble mumble. Dilbert: Maybe you could turn toward me when you mumble and I can try to read your lips. Ted: Mumble mumble. Dilbert: I'm getting something about grapes, windshields, asthma, and blockchain. Ted: I didn't say any of those things. Dilbert: Okay. I understood that sentence. Now answer my question the same way. Ted: Mumble mumble.

Wally's Doctor Note

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Doctor Note - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #doctors, #employees, #excuses, #work, #writing

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Here's the note from my doctor that you asked for. Boss: I can't read the handwriting. Wally: That's how you know it's a real doctor's note. Boss: What's it say. Wally: It says I need lots of sleep at work.

Fly On Weekend

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Fly On Weekend - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #business, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #evil, #cheap

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to do a customer site visit. Book your flight for the weekend so you don't miss any work. Dilbert: I'm impressed by your casual evil. Boss: Bring your own food.

Old Sayings

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Old Sayings - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #email, #insult, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm, #sayings

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I discovered I can insult our boss if I make it sound like an old saying. He thinks all old sayings are wise. Wally: Here he comes. Boss: Did you read my email? Dilbert: A man who sends email has nothing to say.

Humans And Parakeets

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Humans And Parakeets - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #carol, #research, #humans, #parakeets, #offspring, #blog, #deny

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I was doing some research on the internet and learned that humans and parakeets can mate and produce offspring. Carol: I don't believe that. Boss: It's true. I read about it on a blog. Carol: I wouldn't call that "research". Boss: Deny science much?

Average Idiot

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Average Idiot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #budget, #business, #office, #user interface, #idiot

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: did you read my suggestions on the user interface? dilbert: yes, but we'll need a bigger budget if you want to make the user interface so easy that even you can use it. the boss: just make it so the average idiot can use it. dilbert: we did, but we didn't anticipate any below-average idiots.

Did You Get My Email

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Did You Get My Email - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #email, #managers & supervisors, #office, #talking

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: did you read my email? dilbert: yes. dilbert: are you aware that email is a substitute for talking in person? the boss thinking: i thought i heard something about that.

Ai That Creates Comics

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ai That Creates Comics - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Comic Strip, #inventions, #sarcasm, #technology, #creativity

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I invented an A.I. that can create comic strips. Boss: Pffft! That's impossible. No machine will ever match the creative genius of human cartoonists. Dilbert: This one is about a guy who thinks his boss is dumb. Boss: No one wants to read that.