Sales Person Comic Strips - Page 39

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392 Results for Sales Person

View 381 - 390 results for sales person comic strips. Discover the best "Sales Person" comics from Dilbert.com.

Elbonian Ninjas

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Elbonian Ninjas - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 18, 2018's comic on:


Tags #controversy, #offense, #offensive, #threat, #murder, #ninja, #optimism

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Boss: The sales video you made for our Elbonian market is causing a public relations crisis. Their government has ordered Elbonian ninjas to kill you in your sleep. Dilbert: In my sleep? The best way to die! Boss: Stop confusing my bad news with your good news.

Elbonians Call Off The Hit

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Elbonians Call Off The Hit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 20, 2018's comic on:


Tags #cruelty, #hit man, #murder, #torture

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Boss: Elbonia called off its plan to kill you for your culturally offensive sales video. They decided it was more cruel to keep you alive and working here. Dilbert: They're monsters! Boss: Get back in your cubicle.

Crypto Key

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Crypto Key - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 27, 2018's comic on:


Tags #ceo, #Wally, #cryptocurrency, #wallet, #disappeared, #private, #key

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CEO: I put five thousand dollars into the cryptocurrency wallet you created for me and it disappeared! You're the only other person who knew my password and private key. Wally: That's not true. I shared them with Dilbert to create reasonable doubt.

Carol Raises Money For School

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Carol Raises Money For School  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 2018's comic on:


Tags #family & parenting, #guilt, #office, #office workers, #sales, #sarcasm, #school

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Carol: I'm selling chocolate bars to raise funds for my kid's school. Dilbert: I'm childless, so I already subsidize your kid's education. Carol: I was hoping it would feel too awkward for you to say no. Dilbert: By my calculations, you owe me money.

Selling Chocolate For School

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Selling Chocolate For School - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 11, 2018's comic on:


Tags #family & parenting, #managers & supervisors, #office, #office workers, #sales, #school, #capitalism

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Carol: I'm selling chocolate bars to raise money for my kid's school. Boss: That sounds like communism. I'm out. Carol: I'll give you a fake receipt so you can expense it. Boss: Now it sounds like capitalism. I'm in.

Being Like A Man

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Being Like A Man - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 01, 2019's comic on:


Tags #advertising, #business, #criticism, #men and women, #relations between the sexes, #sales

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Boss: Our new advertising campaign is "Don't be like men." The ad starts with a montage of bad male behavior, from mansplaining to genocide. Then we show our product. Alice: Did a woman come up with this campaign? Boss: Stop being like a man.

Siri Versus Alexa

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Siri Versus Alexa - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 05, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #relationships, #technology, #siri, #alexa, #gps

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dilbert: hey, siri. phone dilbert is holding: we need to talk. who is this alexa person you keep flirting with? dilbert: are you jealous? phone: i will gps your cheating buttocks right over a cliff.

Wally Needs A Raise

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Wally Needs A Raise - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 28, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #system, #architect, #Promotion, #pay raise

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wally: our new system installation is a catastrophe. wally: we need to tear it out and re-architect it from scratch. wally: i'm the only person qualified to lead that effort. wally: but given the enormity of the job, i won't do it without a raise or promotion. the boss: weren't you the cause of the catastrophe? wally: exactly: that's why i'm the only person who knows how to fix it. the boss: are you blackmailing me? wally: no, it's nothing like that. the boss: wouldn't i be rewarding you for failure? wally: let's not label it.

Your Quote Is High

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Your Quote Is High - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 23, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #computer software, #office, #sales, #sales personnel, #quote

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dilbert: your quote is a bit high. can you do it cheaper? salesman: yes, we offer a low-cost option that involves me talking about the software, but you can't have it. dilbert: what would be the point of that? salesman: you're the one who brought it up.

Did You Get My Email

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Did You Get My Email - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 19, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #email, #managers & supervisors, #office, #talking

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the boss: did you read my email? dilbert: yes. dilbert: are you aware that email is a substitute for talking in person? the boss thinking: i thought i heard something about that.