The Entire World Comic Strips - Page 39

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

448 Results for The Entire World

View 381 - 390 results for the entire world comic strips. Discover the best "The Entire World" comics from Dilbert.com.

Boss Hoards Gold

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Hoards Gold - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags gold, hiding, secrets, foolish

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm smart because I'm hoarding gold just in case the world economy collapses. Dilbert: How many people have you told? Dilbert: Where is this heading? Dilbert: Do you still keep a spare key under your welcome mat?

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Boss Hoards Gold Unless Hungry

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Hoards Gold Unless Hungry - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags gold, apocalypse, money, Food, priorities, hunger, fool

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You'll be sorry when the world economy collapses. But I'll be okay because I hoarded gold at my house. Alice: On day two, you'll trade all of it for a sandwich. Boss: Only if I'm hungry.

Haircut Illuminati

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Haircut Illuminati - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags secret society, organizations, illuminati, hair, hairstyles, haircut, barber, Politics, politicians, success

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I became a member of the Hairdresser Illuminati. Dilbert: The what? Dogbert: It's a shadowy organization that controls the world by manipulating the hairstyles of political candidates. Boss: What is my barber doing here? Dogbert: That haircut will never become your next president.

Visualize Your Contribution To Society

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Visualize Your Contribution To Society - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meaning, overthinking, purpose, value, distraction, thinking

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I like to start each workday by visualizing how my work will make the world a better place. Gaaaa!!! My life is meaningless and nothing I do will ever matter!!! Okay, good. I like to get that out of the way early.

Dick From The Internet

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dick From The Internet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags internet, comment, jerk, racism, misconstrue, social media, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: An Elbonian start-up invented a new kind of computer mouse. Coworker: Wait until I tell the world that you compared Elbonians to mice, you racists! Hi, I'm Dick, from the Internet. Wally: We're familiar with your work.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags logic, reasoning, managing, managers, leadership, quality, absurd

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: You assigned a pack of idiots to my project team. Boss: We can't afford to hire good people. Dilbert: How am I supposed to create world-class products with a team of disruptive idiots? Boss: Try working extra hard. Dilbert: You want us to be more energetic about our bad decisions? Boss: You also have to put in the hours. Dilbert: Are you saying bad decisions, plus long hours, plus lots of enthusiasm, produces great engineering? Boss: Not if you stand around yacking about it all day.

Just A Guy In A Box

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Just A Guy In A Box - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags existentialism, existence, value, work, use, useful, change

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I like to think the work I'm doing here will change the world. Boss: Your project didn't get funded because Carol forgot to put a meeting on my calendar. Dilbert: There is, however, a non-zero chance that I"m just a guy sitting in a box.

Asok Returns From Fbi

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Returns From Fbi - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags racism, arrest, terrorist, terrorism, protest, friendship, relationship, commitment, apathy, relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: The FBI held me for three weeks on suspicion that I was a terrorist. I assume you were protesting outside the FBI building the entire time and they didn't tell me. Because racism? Dilbert: Oh, right. Yes. We were protesting the entire time.

Asok Meets His Equal

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Meets His Equal - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags accuse, label, racist, sexist, negotiation, clever, outsmart, money, salary

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I love being the best negotiator in the entire department. Alice: You're not. Asok: Are you being racist? Alice: Are you being sexist? Asok: I have met my equal. Alice: Tell your equal I said hi when you pull your head out of it.

Dogbert's Negotiating Class

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert's Negotiating Class - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags book, deal, negotiating, negotiation, self help, guest artist, josh shipley

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Welcome to Dogbert's one-week training class for negotiators. I believe in leading by example, so this entire course will involve me trying to persuade you to buy my book. If everyone in the class buys my book, you can all have the rest of the week off. Voice: Done.