Career Low Comic Strips - Page 4

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308 Results for Career Low

View 31 - 40 results for career low comic strips. Discover the best "Career Low" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 24, 1994's comic on:


Tags #elbonian division, #launching staellites, #technology, #elbonians

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The Boss: Our Elbonian division was the low bidder for launching French satellites into orbit. Im putting you personally in charge Make sure they use the right technology. Elbonia OOPS elbonian: I hope those things aren't expensive.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 03, 1994's comic on:


Tags #evil demons, #stupidity, #saint dogbert, #image, #protect and wathc, #career change, #out demons of stupid

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Dogbert: "Is your job plagued by the evil demons of stupidity?" "Simply affix this image of Saint Dogbert to every document, cubicle or computer you want to protect and watch your career being to change!" "Out Out!! You demons of stupidity!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 23, 1994's comic on:


Tags #potluck lunch, #bring bags, #salt, #ice, #beverage, #mineral water

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Alice: We've reached a new low in the 'potluck lunch' sign-up. Twelve people signed up to bring bags of ice and one person is bringing slat. I need one of you at least bring a beverage. Wally: Put me down for one bag of sparkling mineral water.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 11, 1994's comic on:


Tags #project leader, #dogcart consulting, #shall do bidding, #endless variety, #expediations, #slab of liver, #external brain pack, #career low

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"I'm the project leader for the Dogbert Consulting Company. You simple employees shall do my bidding." "I'll be sending you on an endless variety of data-gathering expeditions. That will keep you busy while I do the thinking." "By the way, this may look like a slab of liver but it's an external brain pack." "My career just reached an all time low."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 04, 1994's comic on:


Tags #baywatch, #morale is low, #talk of mutiny, #project staus report, #death to boss, #pointy haired one

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Dilbert: Here's my daily project status report. Morale is low. There is talk of mutiny. we dream of quitting and becoming lifeguards on "Baywatch" Death to the pointy haired one. The Boss: Holy Cow! "Baywatch' is hiring??!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 11, 1994's comic on:


Tags #new career, #technology pundit, #columnist, #angry opinions

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Dogbert: I'm starting a new career as a technology pundit and columnist. This mostly involves forming angry opinions about things I haven't got the time to understand. Is the RISC processor appropriate for señor citizens? hello!! Is anybody home?!!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 13, 1994's comic on:


Tags #career criminlas, #jail, #sentences, #don't reduce crime, #commit crimes, #others commit crimes, #statistics

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"I oppose putting career criminals in jail for life. There's no evidence that longer sentences reduce crime." "So, your theory is that when career criminals are in jail, other people commit more crimes to keep the average up..." "Statistics don't lie, Dogbert." "Unless bad statistics went to jail - then the others WOULD like."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 21, 1994's comic on:


Tags #proposal, #alternatives, #lobby government, #tax breaks, #idiot run businesses, #quit job, #new career, #handing out towels, #cow chips, #bull shit

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The boss: Your proposal doesn't address the alternatives. Dilbert: There aren't any reasonable alternatives. The boss: There are always alternatives! Give me alternatives!! No wonder nothing gets done around here - not enough alternatives. typing: "we could lobby the government to give tax breaks to all idiot run businesses" "I could quit this stupid job and start a new career handing out towels at the gym" "Or we could use cow chips instead of microchips and save millions" The Boss: whats a cow chip? Dilbert: This job would be an example.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 31, 1994's comic on:


Tags #unpaid overtime, #mba class, #working for free, #rub head, #good luck

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"I'd stay and work some unpaid overtime with you but I'm taking MBA classes." "If YOU took MBA classes you'd understand that working for free is a low NPV." "If you don't mind, before big tests I'd like to rub your head for luck." "It'll cost you a nickel."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 19, 1994's comic on:


Tags #job performance, #reflects on boss, #balance of power, #get fired, #low job perfromance, #wally hold hostage

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Wally stands in front of the Boss's desk and says, "I suddenly realized that MY job performance reflects on YOUR career." Wally continues, "The balance of power has shifted. Unless I get what I want, I'll lower my performance until you get fired." The Boss responds, "Ha! There's no way you could lower your job performance." Wally says, "Curse your eyes!"