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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 24, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #wallet, #money, #rich, #return, #owner, #honest, #sam grooper, #ruthless, #criminal, #divorced, #wife, #ruth, #reward, #expected, #slap, #scram, #gun, #morons

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Dilbert and Dogbert walk on the sidewalk. Dilbert points ahead of them and says, "Look, Dogbert - a wallet." Dilbert bends down, picks up the wallet and says, "It's full of money." Dogbert shouts, "We're rich!!" Dilbert says, "We must return it to its owner." Dogbert shouts, "We're honest!" Dilbert says, "His business card says 'Sam Grouper, ruthless criminal.'" Dilbert says, "Let's hope 'ruthless' means he divorced his wife named Ruth." The criminal answers his door with a gun in his hand. Dilbert says, "Mr. Grouper, we found your wallet. No reward is expected." Sam points the weapon at Dilbert and says, "Hand it over. Give me your wallet too, then slap yourselves around and scram." Dilbert's glasses are bent and his clothes are disheveled. Dogbert holds his hands up and says, "We're morons!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 05, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #ted, #layoffs, #aaah, #nervous

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Dilbert and Wally stand with Nervous Ted. Wally says, "I hear that big layoffs are coming, Nervous Ted." Ted screams and spills his coffee. Dilbert says, "Let me try one." Wally says, "Okay, but give him a minute." Ted looks frazzled.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 23, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #ratbert, #friend, #tip, #authorities, #stock, #afraid, #kept, #money, #reward

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Ratbert and Dogbert walk outdoors. Dogbert says, "I thought you were my friend, Ratbert. Why did you tip off the authorities about my insider stock trading?" Ratbert replies, "I was afraid that if you kept the money you would leave and I'd never see you again." Dogbert says, "Really? Gee . . ." Dogbert asks, "Did they give you a reward?" Ratbert replies, "Yeah, I'm outta here!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 22, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #industrial, #spy, #rumor, #xypon, #newspaper, #secret, #agent, #the boss

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Dogbert sits across from the Boss and says, "My code name is Dogbert. I'm an industrial spy." The Boss asks, "What makes you think my company needs your services?" Dogbert replies, "It's pretty obvious that you won't survive on your wits alone." Dogbert continues, "There's a rumor that Xypon Inc. is developing a tactical nuclear weapon to use against you." The Boss asks, "What exactly will you do for us?" Dogbert answers, "You give me fifty thousand dollars, then I disappear for a month and do secret spy things." Dogbert continues, "I'll return with information that only a spy or a regular newspaper reader could know." A man at Xypon Inc. asks, "How good are they, Dogbert?" Dogbert pulls a wagon full of money bags. He answers, "They're a bit gullible."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 31, 1992's comic on:


Tags #bob, #dinosaur, #Dogbert, #economic, #advisor, #president, #money, #stimulating, #economy, #fritter, #health

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Bob the Dinosaur and Dogbert sit at the table. Bob asks, "You're going to be an economic advisor to the President? What do you know about economics?" Dogbert replies, "It's simple, Bob." Dogbert explains, "The country needs to give all the money to dogs, thus stimulating the economy." Bob asks, "Why can't we spend the money ourselves?" Dogbert replies, "You'd probably fritter it away on food and health care."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 28, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #cosmic, #joy, #possessions, #give, #everything, #away, #works, #munk

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A man sitting on a mat says to Dilbert, "To reach cosmic joy you must give away all of your possessions." Dilbert asks, "What if I give everything away but still do not achieve cosmic joy?" The ascetic replies, "Then the cosmic joy is on you." Dilbert says, "I'm starting to see how this works."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 13, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #weather, #report, #cnn, #weatherman, #tummy, #jane, #ted, #messages

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Dogbert sits on the hassock watching television. A weather reporter concludes, ". . . And that's the CNN weather report." Ted Turner appears wearing a tank top. He says, "Hey! Don't just sit there watching tv all day! Give me thirty tummy crunches!" Dogbert begins doing stomach crunches. Dogbert thinks, "It's been nothing but mixed messages since Ted married Jane."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 14, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #confess, #sinned, #chocolate, #chip, #cookies, #mistake, #scarfed, #bag, #Comic, #strips, #dancing, #community

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A small building is marked, "Dogbert's Confess-O-Rama." One door is labeled, "Employees Only" and the other is labeled, "Sinners." Dogbert sits on one side of a confessional and a man sits on the other. The man says, "Dogbert, I have sinned." The man continues, "I was going to make chocolate chip cookies . . ." The man continues, "But I made the mistake of tasting a chocolate chip right from the bag." The man continues, "Before I knew it, I had scarfed the entire bag of chips!" Dogbert says, "For penance you must make a little dunce hat from old "Cathy" comic strips . . ." Dogbert continues, "Then wear the little hat while dancing naked on your lawn with the sprinklers on." The man says, "Thank you, Dogbert." Dogbert turns to the reader and says, "It's so rewarding to be able to give something back to the community."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 25, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #common sense, #school, #water, #boot, #heel, #betty, #liquid, #hair, #partial, #credit

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Dogbert asks, "Who can show me how to get the water out of this boot?" Dogbert hands the boot to a woman and says, "If you have trouble, the directions are written on the heel." As the woman puts her head into the boot, Dogbert says, "I'm sorry, Betty. I can only give you partial credit for trying to absorb the liquid with your hair."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 10, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #Family, #saving & investment, #stock market, #money, #invest, #stock, #options, #broker, #Fun, #snide, #comments

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Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I invested all of my money in stock options." Dogbert asks, "What's an option?" Dilbert explains, "It's complicated . . . Basically, you give your money to a stock broker and he buys nice things for his family." Dilbert asks, "Do you have any snide comments?" Dogbert replies, "No, you took all the fun out of it."