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113 Results for Four Queens

View 31 - 40 results for four queens comic strips. Discover the best "Four Queens" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 13, 2009's comic on:


Tags #frustrated, #angry, #stupidity, #forgetful, #yelling, #ignorant

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Dilbert says, "?And those are the four things I need you to ask our VP of marketing." The Boss says, "Got it." Dilbert says, "Maybe you should write them down." The boss says, "I'll remember." Dilbert says, "You have a lot on your mind. A little note might be a good idea." The Boss says, "How hard is it to remember three things?" The boss says, "Sheesh!" Dilbert says, "Four things! There are four questions!" The Boss says, "Right, right. There's the one about the battery and the other two." Dilbert says, "There are four questions! Four, four, four!!! And none of them are about a battery!" Later that day The boss says, "Should the new software have a battery?" Man says, "How would I know?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 26, 2009's comic on:


Tags #excuses, #lying down, #table, #reading, #agenda, #sleeping, #lazy

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Wally says, "Agenda items four through seven don't involve me." Wally says, "I'll use that time to take a refreshing table nap. Experts say it's good for productivity." The boss says, "I need to talk to those experts." Zzzzzzz

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 31, 2008's comic on:


Tags #genius, #scheduled, #four oclock, #judeg, #accomplishments, #offcie, #taught better

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The Boss says, "Wally, where do you think you're going?" The Boss says, "It's only four o'clock." Wally says, "What a strange thing to say. Did anyone care how many hours a week Beethoven worked?" Wally says, Genius can't be scheduled." Wally says, "Judge my by my accomplishments, not the number of hours I spend at the office." The Boss says, "Okay, fine. What did you accomplish today?" Wally says, "I just taught you how to be a better manager." Wally says, "What? Did you think it was going to happen on its own?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 11, 2007's comic on:


Tags #dead for week, #managed reincarnation, #own clone, #shapeshifting skills, #snicker bar, #cable guy, #waited at house, #equivalent

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Asok: "I was dead for a week, but I managed to reincarnate into my own clone and use my shapeshifting skills to look less like a snickers bar." Carol: "I once waited four hours for a cable tv guy to show up at my house." Asok: "Those stories are no equivalent." Carol: "It's subjective."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 29, 2007's comic on:


Tags #frisutration, #vendor, #dela, #cost, #product costs, #shipping, #won't answer, #deliberate avoidance, #crazy making, #systems costs, #delivery, #stuck

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Dilbert: "What would your system cost?" Vendor: "We can deliver in two weeks." Dilbert: "But what would it cost?" Vendor: "A lot of vendors deliver in four weeks, but we can do it in two." Dilbert: "I'm asking about price, not delivery schedules." Vendor: "Do you want it shipped by ground or air? Air is even faster." Dilbert: "What does it cost?" Vendor: "Ground costs less than air." Dilbert: "GAAA!!! What does the SYSTEM cost?!!" Vendor: "For ground?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 11, 2007's comic on:


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"Every company needs goals." GOALS "We have division goals, department goals, district goals, personal goals and affiliate goals." "You will all attend a four-hour training session on how to write goals." "Every week you will report on how you are doing compared to your goals." "Those reports will be entered into a giant database." "Won't the size and complexity of the database make it impossible to know what's really happening?" "Yes. That's why your raises will be based on what you look like." "Bummer for you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 15, 2006's comic on:


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"My project has been infected by attractive people." "As you know, attractive people are unproductive." "The problem is compounded when you put several of them in the same room." "They've already started to pair off." "I've got four love triangles and six divorces." "All of my status reports say, and I quote, 'Dude, I can't concentrate now.'" "My plan is to replace each attractive person with something like this, or this." "He thinks I'm productive."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 04, 2006's comic on:


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Our CEO only has five minutes. Is that enough time for your PowerPoint presentation? "No. An incomplete explanation of the situation will cause massively harmful strategic choices." "What can we get for four-and-a-half minutes?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Phew! That was a nice four-mile walk. "Refreshing!" "Want to watch some TV?" "After I finish this call." Dogbert's Tech Support "Thanks for holding. There's nothing in the database about your kind of problem." @#$%!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 14, 2005's comic on:


Tags #vp of enguneering, #saving money, #databases, #slices idea, #errors, #asok

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V.P. of Engineering "Then I had the idea of saving money by combining our four databases." "Excuse me. That was Alice's idea. You said it was impossible, so she did it on her own time." "Carry on. I'll jump in if I notice any more errors."