Search Results for "badering manager"
Share December 14, 1999's comic on:
The boss is sitting in his office and Catbert is sitting on the boss's desk. Catbert says to the boss:"Being a manager means never having to be less condescending just because you're wrong." Both Catbert and the boss laugh out loud: "Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha" Carol is sitting at her computer and Dilbert is standing behind her holding a folder. Dilbert says to Carol: "Did he finish my performance evaluation?" Carol answers: "I heard him working on it."
Share September 02, 2000's comic on:
The Boss says to the staff, "As a manager, it's my job to reduce the turnover of our most valuable employees..." The Boss continues, "...and to increase turnover of our least valuable employees." Wally screams, "Ow! For the jillionth time, who keeps kicking me?!"
Share February 23, 2001's comic on:
A little cloud hovers near Alice and says, "Hello, Alice. I'm your soul." Alice looks alarmed as a hand reaches for the cloud. The cloud says, "You're a manager now; You won't be needing me." A man in a devil suit holds the cloud, hands Alice a small piece of paper and says to her, "Here's a claim ticket in case you get demoted or learn to play sax."
Share February 24, 2001's comic on:
ALICE THE MANAGER: Alice says to The Boss, "How do I cope with the emptiness of having no soul?" The Boss dances and shows his teeth and says to Alice, "Try doing this with your teeth while you dance." Alice asks, "Is there another way?" The Boss says, "I can teach you to play air guitar."
Share March 03, 2001's comic on:
Wally asks Alice, "How do you like being a manager, Alice?" Alice says to Wally, "Do me a big favor; sneak into my house tonight and smother me with a pillow." Dilbert says, "I think she was kidding." Wally says, "I'll see if she puts up a struggle."
Share May 29, 2001's comic on:
Caption reads: "Incredulous Ed." Alice approaches Ed and asks, "Ed, do you have the latest budget numbers?" Ed looks up at Alice, squinting his eyes and gesturing, "Budget??? What is a 'budget' and why on earth would I have one?" Alice replies, "Because you're the budget manager." Ed hands her a piece of paper and says, "Here you go."
Share July 09, 2001's comic on:
Alice sits looking frazzled as the Boss says, "You're understaffed and overworked." Two people appear behind the Boss as he continues, "So I hired a stress counselor and another manager to glare at you." The stress counselor massages the Boss' back and says, "Relax...Deep breaths...There..." The manager stands over Alice glaring at her.
Share September 25, 2001's comic on:
Dilbert is sitting at his computer. The Boss approaches and says, "I need a brilliant employee to be my assistant manager." The Boss continues, "That's why I came to you." Dilbert turns and says, "That's the first nice thing..." The Boss interrupts him, "Your job is to clone me."
Share January 11, 2002's comic on:
Dilbert and Dogbert are sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee. Dilbert says, "Maybe I'll take a job as a waiter until I can get a job as an engineer." Dogbert replies, "You're not qualified to wait on tables." Dilbert responds, "How hard could it be?" A waiter is juggling dishes unsteadily. He says to Dilbert, "The manager is over there slapping a drunk."
Share April 13, 2002's comic on:
Dilbert is talking to a woman. She asks, "Are you a manager?" Dilbert responds, "No, I'm an individual contributor." The woman says, "So, basically, you have the same job description as an ant?" Dilbert responds, "I'd like to see an ant try to wear huge glasses like these!"