Search Results for "dangerous and sexy"
Share October 19, 2012's comic on:
Lawyer: The court ordered us to turn over all of our internal emails. Have you ever mentioned in email that our products are known to be dangerous but we don't care? CEO: I don't even know what products we make. Lawyer: That's a good defense. We might need that.
Share October 27, 2008's comic on:
The Boss says, "Your project is not sexy." The Boss says, "I'm transferring all of your funding to a project that totally arouses me." The Boss says, "That's something they don't cover in business school."
Share July 25, 2010's comic on:
The Boss says, "I?m glad your project was transferred to my department, Ronald." The Boss says, "Your project is flashy! It's sexy!" The Boss says, "But it's not worth funding because the revenue projections are puny." The Boss says, "Until something changes, you'll be in the limbo cube." The Boss says, "I'll trot you out whenever a customer or an executive visits." The Boss says, "You can show your sexy-flashy powerpoint slides while dreaming of being relevant." The Boss says, "If you work hard, someday you'll be totally forgotten." The Boss says, "Did you know that honesty makes people sad?"
Share June 25, 2014's comic on:
Catbert: Your management style has caused a black hole to form. Boss: Is it dangerous? Catbert: No to us. It only absorbs important emails from employees. And en employee named Ted, apparently.
Share August 28, 2014's comic on:
Wally: He transferred all of his mental energy to the executive attention network of his brain to solve a problem. This is dangerous territory for an engineer because it suppresses the last remnants of his social awareness. Expect him to misread social cues. Dilbert: They're here to kill me.
Share November 17, 2014's comic on:
Co-CEOs. Dogbert: Let's split the duties this way... I will be the CEO who attends boring meetings, and you can be more of a Richard Branson type who does dangerous publicity stunts. Co-CEO: I love that idea. Dogbert: And then there was one.
Share September 01, 2015's comic on:
CEO: Our plan is to use robots for all the jobs that are dangerous or demeaning. No one cares if a robot gets ripped to shreds in an industrial accident. Robot: Eh? CEO: Are we cool? Robot: I'm cool, but you're going to be room temperature.
Share September 11, 2018's comic on:
Dilbert: My invention can read my thoughts and turn them into computer commands. I'm no longer an individual. Now I'm part of the collective internet mind. Woman: That is the least sexy thing I have ever heard. Dilbert:
Share January 21, 2011's comic on:
The Boss says, "We're not creative enough to create whole new markets, the way apple does." The Boss says, "And we're not powerful enough for a fast follower strategy." The Boss says, "What we need is a sexy, strategic-sounding name for crumb-snatching." Dilbert says, "Niche player?"
Share July 13, 2011's comic on:
Carol: You should build your own helicopter from a kit. I'll send you a link to the website. It's only dangerous for people who are too dumb to know how dumb they are. Boss: Is it as easy as it sounds? I have pliers. Carol: Yes!