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Dawn: We have to be firm with little Rex. Watch me, Bob. Rex, behave or I'll spank you! Rex: If you spank me. I'll become a bitter and resentful child. And forget you on mother's day. Rex: I think we understand each other now. Bob: Is father's day still a go?
Dilbert sits at the table drawing on a piece of paper. Dilbert says, "People don't realize how easy it is to draw 'The Simpsons.'" Dilbert shows his picture of Bart Simpson to Dogbert and says, "See, he's riding a bicycle." Dogbert says, "Your Bart is worse than your bike."
Dogbert uses a megaphone to address several men in bathrobes and slippers. Dogbert says, "Attention, prisoners! This is Warden Dogbert speaking!" Dogbert continues, "My jail has not been profitable. I've decided to have you all executed to reduce operating costs." Dogbert walks away thinking, "The 'Joke of the Day' program seems wasted on these people."
Dilbert and Dogbert walk outdoors. Dilbert says, "I can't help thinking that my new wealth will lead to tragedy." Dilbert continues, "It seems like rich people always have horrible tragedies." Dogbert asks, "Like what?" There is a flash of lightning. Dilbert's clothes have been burned and his body is charred. Dilbert replies, ". . . Like being struck by lightning on a clear day." Dogbert points to the sky and shouts, "Incoming meteor!!"
Tim says to Dilbert, "I've sacrificed my health, my personal life and my soul to get promoted." Tim continues, "Ha ha ha! But it was all worth it because I have an office with a DOOR and you still work in a cubicle!" Tim continues, "Maybe I'll host a special 'Low-Achiever Day' to let you touch my door." Dilbert imagines closing Tim in his door.
An employee says to the Boss, "I found a typo in the budget spreadsheet . . . It's too late to fix it." The man continues, "We transferred one job to another group but accidentally kept the money and headcount." The Boss tells another man, ". . . So, we still pay you but you aren't allowed to do work." The man thinks, "This is the happiest day of my life."
Dogbert sits on his pillow listening to the radio. Ratbert says, "I'm writing a book about being trapped in the space hole for three hundred thousand years." Ratbert writes, "Day one: I thought about cheese. Day two: see Day one. Day three; See day two . . ." Ratbert carries a stack of paper into the room and asks Dogbert, "Do you know a good editor?"
Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I'm going to start a business as a professional insulter." Dogbert continues, "For example, I would say to you, you're so ugly that you have to wear a disguise on garbage pick-up day." Dilbert replies, "That was uncalled for." Dogbert says, "Well, then no charge."
wally: "How foolish of you to host the all-day staff meeting at your house." "Let's form sub-teams to be more efficient. Ted will do accidental spills. Alice, you critique the decor. I'll be a floater." Alice: "Kichen, shoddily done..." Ted: "I spilled mayonaise on the wall." Wally: "Where's the bathroom?"