Board Of Directors Comic Strips - Page 4
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94 Results for Board Of Directors
View 31 - 40 results for board of directors comic strips. Discover the best "Board Of Directors" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday July 08,
2001
Tags #layoffs, #fly on wall, #poof, #wally as fly, #rational budget decions, #who do we hate, #fly eating donut, #mean, #board of directors
Transcript
Dilbert and Wally stand in the hallway looking into the conference room where the Boss is having a meeting. Dilbert says, "They must be talking about the layoffs." Wally says, "I'd like to be a fly on that wall." Suddenly, "Poof!" and Wally is turned into a fly. Wally is seen in fly form, with his head on a fly's body. He says, "Great...the one time I get my wish..." Wally flies into the room as the Boss says, "Let's focus on our priorities and make rational budget decisions." The whole room erupts in laughter: "Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!" The Boss continues speaking as Wally flies in close to his coffee and donut. The Boss says, "Back to reality. I'll fire Ted; he creeps me out. Who else do we hate?" Wally lands on the donut as the Boss says, "Hey, my donut is gettting eaten by the world's ugliest fly!" Wally says, "Bonanza!"
Tuesday April 15,
2014
Tags #computer programmers, #email, #email down, #guy in hopsital, #ouija board, #limited rescources
Transcript
Dilbert: Email is down again. Mordac: The only guy who can fix it is in the hospital. Dilbert: So... if he dies, we can never again have email? Mordac: Maybe. Dilbert: Is there any way I can reach him? Mordac: Wait a week and try a Oiji board.
Thursday November 20,
2014
Board Offers Dogbert Severence Package
Tags #avarice, #compensation, #executives, #golden parachute, #greed, #money, #wages
Transcript
Dogbert the CEO. Catbert: The board has approved a $100 million golden parachute if you quit now. Dogbert: $100 million?!!! How am I supposed to live on that? You insult me! Catbert: That's a lot of money for doing nothing. Dogbert: Bah! I spend more than that on soft cheese.
Friday March 20,
2015
Pipe Down, Coffee Intern
Tags #board meeting, #change, #coffee, #demotion, #ego, #ideas, #Promotion, #intern, #new ideas
Transcript
Asok: Is it wise to ride your coffee intern to a board meeting? Wally: Pipe down, coffee intern. If you were capable of thinking like a leader, you would be a VP too. Dilbert: Demoted already? Wally: The board does not like new ideas.
Thursday July 30,
2015
Ceo Is On Nine Boards
Tags #board, #board member, #power, #bragging, #focus, #attention
Transcript
CEO: I am proud to say I serve as a board member for nine corporations. Dilbert; Your lack of focus shows disregard for your fiduciary responsibilities. CEO: Can someone fire this guy for me? I don't remember what company I'm at.
Saturday November 11,
2017
Wally Presents To Board
Tags #stealth, #invisibility, #naked, #surprise, #hiding, #camoflage
Transcript
Boss: I want you to present your stealth clothing prototype to our board. Wally: Are you sure? Boss: Of course I'm sure. CEO: I thought we were trying to make the person invisible. Wally: Then why is it called stealth "clothing?"
Wednesday July 05,
1989
Tags #cross word, #challenge
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table playing Scrabble. As Dogbert arranges his letters on the game board, Dilbert asks, "What the heck is 'jequirity?'" Dogbert replies, "You know - the poisonous, red and black seed of the Indian Licorice plant. Want to challenge?" Dilbert replies, "No. At least this one has vowels." Dogbert says, "That's 704 for me."
Saturday July 07,
2012
Tags #certification in puppetry, #degree in engineering, #diploma and bait shop, #discrepancy, #resume, #ventriloquism
Transcript
Boss: One of our major investors found a discrepancy on your resume. You claim to have a degree in engineering, but in reality you have a certification in puppetry from a place called... Evelyn's Diploma and Bait Shop. CEO: The board has faith in our CEO.
Saturday December 21,
1991
Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #chess, #bishop, #rook, #friend, #queen, #uzi, #purse, #slays, #scrabble, #man
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table playing chess. Dilbert says, "Bishop takes rook. I have you now, my friend." As he sweeps the pieces off the game board, Dogbert says, "My queen has an Uzi in her purse. She slays your entire side." Dilbert says, "You did the same thing when we played Scrabble." Dogbert replies, "Take it like a man."
Friday February 14,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #lack, #ethics, #social, #conscience, #guilt, #module, #synthesized, #belief, #system, #spittle
Transcript
Dogbert says to the robot, "We need to do something about your total lack of ethics and social conscience." Dogbert continues, "I had Dilbert build this guilt module for your control board. It has the synthesized shame of every major belief system." Later, the robot says to Dilbert, "I am unworthy to roll in your spittle." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Frankly, I liked him better before."