False Logic Comic Strips - Page 4
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View 31 - 40 results for false logic comic strips. Discover the best "False Logic" comics from Dilbert.com.
Dilbert says to The Boss, "I don't think our network can handle the extra network traffic." The Boss replies, "Opinions don't matter to me. I base my decisions on hard data." Dilbert responds, "How about logic? Our network is already too slow and we plan to quadruple usage." The Boss responds, "Bah! Watch how science works and maybe you'll learn something." The Boss pokes his head out of his office and says to Doug, "Doug, come here for a minute." Doug says, "Our data proves that our network has infinite capacity, so your budget should be diverted to my project." Dilbert exclaims, "That's not science! That's a weasel misinterpreting data to get extra funding!" Dilbert comes home and says to Dogbert, "There are days when you really hate to hear the phrase 'po-tay-to, po-tah-to."
Boss: I don't think I'm doing enough to create a false sense of urgency. Catbert: Are you still a sociopath? Boss: That's the easy part. Catbert: Now add a meaningless deadline and some fear.
Dilbert: Everyone at work thinks I'ma liar because of a false rumor. Dogbert: If it makes you feel any better, I know you aren't a liar. Dilbert: Thank you. That does help. Dogbert: I see you as more of an idiot. And you're welcome.
Boss: Watch me win this debate on Twitter by providing facts and logic. Now we wait for everyone in the world to change their minds. Dilbert: How's the first minute going? Boss: What is wrong with these monsters?!!
Man: You said the software would be finished by today. Dilbert: I said it might be finished by today. Man: Why did you say it might be finished if you knew it wouldn't? Dilbert: I didn't know it wouldn't be finished. Man: Now you're flip-flopping all over the place. Dilbert: You're conflating your own false memories with my actions. Man: That's exactly what liars say. Dogbert: How was work? Dilbert: Totally normal. Unfortunately.
Dilbert: I've created the first artificial intelligence that is as smart as a human being. The breakthrough came when I replaced its logic code with conspiracy theories, lies, emotional outbursts, and overconfidence. Asok: You have created an abomination. Robot: I find it curious that you take sides with the chem trails.
boss: how's the new lab construction going? dilbert: i'm having some issues with the local building codes. they seem unnecessarily stringent. for example, we have to guarantee no rain touches the roof. boss: why? dilbert: no on knows. but if we donate to the mayor's campaign, the city will designate the roof a "horizontal wall." boss: and then we can begin construction? dilbert: no, that's just the beginnning of the false hope phrase.
Boss: I told you to reschedule the installation date. Dilbert: That conversation never happened. Maybe you planned to say it and then the thought morphed into a false memory. Boss: I'm sure I emailed you. Dilbert: You might want to pick a defense that's less checkable.
Dogbert sits across from a desk and says, "I've decided to become a pop psychologist. I need your help to make my lecture video." A man in sunglasses replies, "You came to the right place, babe. First, you need a new look." Dogbert is wearing a pony tail of false hair and a pointed brassiere. Dogbert says, "Nice try, but frankly, this look didn't work too well for Madonna either."