Give Her A Raise Comic Strips - Page 4

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777 Results for Give Her A Raise

View 31 - 40 results for give her a raise comic strips. Discover the best "Give Her A Raise" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 08, 2013's comic on:


Tags #death & dying, #negotiating, #work ethic, #raise, #workload, #incentive, #work harder, #disgruntled, #no meaning, #dreams lie broken

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Boss: If you finish your project in twelve months, I'll give you a five percent raise. Dilbert: I would gladly give up five percent of my future pay to avoid a doubling of my workload. Boss: You don't understand. I'm giving you an incentive to work harder. Dilbert: No, I'm pretty sure you're charging me five percent of my future pay to sit here and feel disgruntled. And it's working. I hate you more than ever and I no longer find meaning in my work My dreams lie broken and empty beneath the ruins of my optimism. Boss: I can't tell if your negotiating or dying. Dilbert: It's a little of both.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 01, 2013's comic on:


Tags #victims, #wages, #lazy, #undependable, #disruptive, #raise, #blamed victime, #money

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Boss: You're lazy, undependable, and disruptive. That's why I can't give you a raise this year. Dilbert: How'd it go? Wally: He blamed the victim.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 29, 2014's comic on:


Tags #miserliness, #wages, #good work, #saves billons, #no raise, #personal item, #on desk, #insoubordination, #abuse of power, #boss, #money

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Boss: Alice, your good work has saved the company over a billion dollars. But I can't give you a raise because you once had a personal item on your desk. Alice: How are those things equal?!! Boss: And here comes the insubordination.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 02, 2014's comic on:


Tags #hypocrisy, #managers & supervisors, #wages, #world records set, #best employee, #job performance, #no raise, #drug enhancing drugs, #injected against will, #leadership, #business, #money

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Boss: You've set several world records for best employee job performance. But I can't give you a raise because you used job performance enhancing drugs. Dilbert: You injected me against my will. Boss: It would be leadership if you wanted to do it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 03, 2014's comic on:


Tags #venture capitalists, #reputation of the angel, #angel investors, #skill of engineers, #huge raise, #big chicken

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Dilbert: Do you know what venture capitalists care about when they make investment decisions? They care about the reputation of the angel investors who already put money in. DO you know what the angel investors care about? They care about the skill of the engineers. Therefore, you should give me a huge raise or else I'll quit and do my own start -up. BOSS: GO ahead you big chicken. Your going to die poor! HAHAHA!! Dilbert: That was harsh. Boss: and yet you didn't resign . any more questions?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 15, 2015's comic on:


Tags #executives, #ceos, #raise, #asking for a raise, #compensation, #money, #wages, #comparison, #wage discrepancy, #mansion

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Boss: I can only give you a 3% raise. If you want more, take it up with our CEO. Dilbert: I'd like to explain why I deserve more than a 3% raise. As a negotiating strategy, Dogbert will simultaneously read a media report about your lavish $85 million mansion. I invented three new technologies this year. Dogbert: "The toilets are solid gold." Dilbert: I wrote most of the code for our new product. Dogbert: "The helicopter pad is on the roof of the car museum." Dilbert: I worked eighty hours per week. Dogbert: "Every elevator has a full kitchen." Dilbert: I could earn more at Google or Apple... Dogbert: "Entire house rotates for optimal sun exposure." Dilbert: Do you see where I'm going with this? CEO: High-five?

Dilbert's Project Is Late

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Dilbert's Project Is Late - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 15, 2015's comic on:


Tags #raise, #wages, #money, #salary, #catch-22, #anger, #frustration, #labor, #review

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Boss: I can't give you a raise because you didn't finish your project on time. Dilbert: That's because you make me work on your personal project half of every day. Boss: You have to learn to say no. Dilbert: I've never wanted to kill you more than right now.

Wally Needs A Raise

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Wally Needs A Raise - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 28, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #system, #architect, #Promotion, #pay raise

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wally: our new system installation is a catastrophe. wally: we need to tear it out and re-architect it from scratch. wally: i'm the only person qualified to lead that effort. wally: but given the enormity of the job, i won't do it without a raise or promotion. the boss: weren't you the cause of the catastrophe? wally: exactly: that's why i'm the only person who knows how to fix it. the boss: are you blackmailing me? wally: no, it's nothing like that. the boss: wouldn't i be rewarding you for failure? wally: let's not label it.

Be More Like Alice

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Be More Like Alice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 24, 2019's comic on:


Tags #complain, #office, #office workers, #pay raise

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the boss: i can't give you a raise because you didn't do anything noteworthy this year. dilbert: it only seems that way because i'm so good at my job that i make it look easy and never complain. alice visually upset and yelling: my job is a nightmare!!! the boss: why can't you be more like alice?

Paying The Replacement More

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Paying The Replacement More - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 08, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #pay raise

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dilbert: if i were to quit, you would have to pay my replacement more than you are paying me. dilbert: wouldn't it be more fair to give me a raise to stay? the boss: how would that be fair to your replacement?