Humiliate Employees Comic Strips - Page 4

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545 Results for Humiliate Employees

View 31 - 40 results for humiliate employees comic strips. Discover the best "Humiliate Employees" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 03, 1994's comic on:

Tags #best assets, #competitions worst, #employees on job, #hidden camera, #imply, #they work for competition, #ad agency, #dogbert's ad agency

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Dogbert's Ad Agency Dogbert: Your commercial should compare your best assets to the competition's worst. we'll use a hidden camera to film your employees on the job. The Boss: I missed something here... Dogbert: we'll imply that they all work for the competition . this isn't a documentary.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 26, 1994's comic on:

Tags #dignity enhancement, #help employees, #less money, #hire someone, #co workers

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The Boss: Sue was hired to run our new dignity enhancement program. Her charter is to help the employees feel good about themselves while they work harder for less money. Dilbert: How can we afford to hire somebody new? The Boss: Do you remember those cow orders you used to have?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 18, 1994's comic on:

Tags #board room, #fire employees, #no employees, #task force, #competitors, #white rumps

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EXECUTIVE BOARD ROOM TED: our competitors are kicking our pasty white rumps. Ted: Im bringing in dogcart to fire employees until we're stronger than the competition. Man: How will the work get done with no employees? Ted: Id better form a test force to study that.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 02, 1994's comic on:

Tags #employee survey, #no startegy, #quality team, #root cause, #employees are ninnies, #more stock options

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The Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "The employee survey showed that 95% of the company believes we have no consistent strategy." The Boss continues, "So the executives formed a 'quality team' to determine the root cause of the problem." A man points to a chart and says to three people seated at a table, "We've narrowed it down to either 'employees are ninnies' or 'we deserve more stock options.'"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 24, 1994's comic on:

Tags #strange smell, #aroma technology, #scent of lemon, #employees more alert, #lemon

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Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk and says, "There's a strange smell in the cubes." The Boss responds, "We're using aroma technology!" The Boss explains, "For example, research shows that the scent of lemon makes employees more alert." Dilbert sniffs the air and says, "That's not lemon." The Boss says, "My job's easier when you guys aren't too alert."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 11, 1995's comic on:

Tags #managers, #another closed door, #meeting, #pay cuts, #layoffs, #resume, #leadership vsion, #inspire employees, #action, #upgardes, #business

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The Boss and a woman walk by Dilbert's cubicle holding folders. Leaning back in his chair to look out of the cubicle, Dilbert thinks, "Uh-Oh . . . the managers are going to another closed-door meeting." Dilbert thinks, "It must be about pay cuts or layoffs. I'm doomed. I'd better work on my resume NOW." He pulls nervously at his tie, his hair stands on end and beads of sweat fly from his forehead. The Boss sits around a conference table with three other managers. Reading from a document, he says, "Okay, so far our 'leadership vision' says 'we inspire employees to action.' Does anybody have upgrades?" Another man responds, "Nah."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 1995's comic on:

Tags #destroying prodcutivity, #hire contract employees, #constractors, #humilaition

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Dogbert sits at the Boss's desk. Dilbert and Alice stand in front of him. Dilbert says, "The rumors are destroying our productivity. We can't work with all this uncertainty." Dogbert answers, "I plan to buy proven technology and hire contract employees. You'll be gophers for the contractors until you resign in disgust and humiliation." Dilbert and Alice look scared. Dilbert asks, "Is there any way to get back to uncertainty?" Dogbert answers, "I'll see what I can do."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 29, 1995's comic on:

Tags #elbonian owner, #competetor, #motto, #beat em join em, #humiliate, #not catchy

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The Boss stands outside a row of cubicles. Wally peeks out of his cubicle and Dilbert stands in the door of his cubicle. The Boss says to Dilbert, "Our Elbonian owners sold the company to our biggest competitor." The Boss continues, "Our motto is 'If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.'" Dilbert says, "I wonder what THEIR motto is." The Boss says, "Their motto is 'After you beat 'em, humiliate 'em.'" Dilbert says, "It's not very catchy."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 28, 1995's comic on:

Tags #bob procurement, #duties are simple, #assume employees lie, #multimedia laptop, #demo labeler, #low cost substitutes, #savings, #accomplishments

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His boss in procurement explains to Bob the Dinosaur, "Your duties are simple. People will come to you and ask for things." Bob's boss continues, "Assume all employees are lying, treasure-hunting thieves. Give them low-cost substitutes and claim the savings on your accomplishments." An employee says to Bob, "I asked for a multimedia laptop PC. This is a 'Dymo' labeler." Bob responds, "Nice try, Paul, if that's your real name."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 03, 1995's comic on:

Tags #hired as temp, #ratbert, #cardboard box, #main hallway, #regular employees, #status, #security gurad, #crud behind refrigerator, #company car

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Dilbert says to Ratbert, "Congratulations on getting hired as a temp, Ratbert." Ratbert answers, "Where do I start?!" Dilbert tells him, "Your office is this cardboard box in the main hallway. The regular employees will not make eye contact or ask your name." Dilbert continues, "Your status is roughly between the security guard and the crud behind the refrigerator." Ratbert replies, "Do I get a company car?"