Miss The Smells Comic Strips - Page 4

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75 Results for Miss The Smells

View 31 - 40 results for miss the smells comic strips. Discover the best "Miss The Smells" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 01, 1998's comic on:


Tags #project, #needs attention, #meeting, #helper for porject, #engineers, #business

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The Boss, Wally and Alice sit at the conference table. Wally says, "This project needs your complete attention." Alice says, "Wally's right. Forget the other projects and focus on that one." Wally, Alice and Dilbert eat lunch. Dilbert says, "Did I miss anything at the meeting?" Wally says, "We got you a little helper for your project."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 06, 1994's comic on:


Tags #business, #competition, #control, #deadbeats, #for scuccess, #mangers, #reorganize, #subgroup, #thrown out window, #whiners

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- How to reorganize for success Put All your deadbeats and whiners in one sub group. Deadbeats: we don't want to be a subgroup. -Give them a project that duplicates work being done by more competent people elsewhere in the company.- Soon, the manager of the competent people will find out you're duplicating his work. Man: You're on my turf Dogbert: Boo hoo - He'll make a play to get your project under his control.- Man: They should be transferred to my control. - Before you transfer the deadbeats. Give them high performance reviews to conceal your treachery Deadbeat: Godlike ? wow! Dogbert: I'll miss you. - In time, the manager who took your losers will fail, this decreasing competition for promotions. AAIIII!! Dogbert: Next week I'll discuss teamwork - the managers obstacle to success.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 03, 1996's comic on:


Tags #chocolate bar, #smell, #wallet, #impatience

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Dilbert stands in line at a cash register. He thinks, "Mmm . . . Soon you will be mine, little chocolate bar." The customer ahead of him says, "I think I have exact change." Dilbert smells the candy bar and thinks, "I can smell it through the wrapper." The woman reaches into her purse and says, "Here's a nickel." Dilbert thinks, "I rub it on my arm to get the total body experience." The woman looks into her pocketbook and says, "No, that's a breath mint." Dilbert holds the candy bar over his head and thinks, "I am transported to another dimension." The woman says, "Ooh, a roll of pennies . . . No, lipstick." Dilbert looks at the woman as she says, "I'll give you a check. Where's that checkbook?" Dilbert snatches the woman's purse. Dilbert stomps on the purse while the woman watches. Dilbert stands in front of the counter and says, "What a funny day to forget my wallet." The woman clenches her teeth and looks angry.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 15, 1996's comic on:


Tags #upgarde, #product design, #overheat, #big picture, #no benefits, #over heating, #sales are strong, #end civilization

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The Boss tells Dilbert, "I made an upgrade to your product design." He hands Dilbert a document. Dilbert says, "This would make the product overheat." The Boss says, "Let's try to look at the big picture." Dilbert reads the document and says, "Okay . . . Let's see . . . Your upgrade has no benefits and it costs more." Dilbert continues, "The overheating would start office fires and put all of our customers out of business." Dilbert continues, "If our sales are strong, we could create economic chaos and a global firestorm." Dilbert concludes, "Your 'upgrade' would destroy civilization as we know it." The Boss says, "Keep me informed." Back at home, Dilbert sits on the couch and Dogbert sits on the backrest. Dogbert asks, "So you're going to end civilization as we know it?" Dilbert replies, "I don't think I'll miss it, frankly."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 08, 1999's comic on:


Tags #boss can't understand hire, #rodeo clown, #engineer, #smells like hay, #fifty percent, #data network engineer, #engineering

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A man in a dirty shirt says, to the boss, "Mwa fwa fwa ooh mah fuh." The boss says, "I can't understands a word you say." The boss says, "And your poorly dressed. You must be some sort of technology expert. Or a rodeo clown." The boss introduces dirty guy to Alice. The boss says, "There's a fifty percent chance I hired a data network engineer." Alice says, "I smell hay."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 23, 1998's comic on:


Tags #combined birthdays, #birthdays last year, #fake cake, #one cake, #all birthdays, #sing happy birthday

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The Boss stands in front of a cake and says, "Happy combined birthdays." The Boss continues, "Today we honor the employees who had birthdays within the past year." Wally, Dilbert and Alice stand as the Boss continues, "That's Dilbert...Alice...Asok...did I miss anyone?" Wally raises his hand and says, "Umm...you missed me." The Boss says, "You too? That's spooky." The Boss continues, "I'd cut the cake, but it's a plastic prop." The Boss says, "Let's sing. Does anyone know the words to 'Happy Birthday'?" The Boss walks down the hallway with the fake cake under his arm, and thinks, "I bet those weren't even the real words."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 09, 2000's comic on:


Tags #learning golf, #male dominated golf events, #golf events

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Alice says to Dilbert, "I'm learning to golf." Alice says to Dilbert, "Now I won't be excluded from all the male-dominated golf events." Dilbert says to Wally, who's staring at his computer screen, "Have you been dominating golf events?" Wally says, "Sometimes I can make them miss putts on TV."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 22, 1998's comic on:


Tags #zero disabling injuries, #injury, #fill forms, #resignation forms, #cinjury report

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The Boss points at a board with the word 'Injuries' written on it, and the number zero below the word. The Boss says, "Our goal this year is zero disabling injuries." The Boss continues, "Last year, our goal was twenty-six disabling injuries." The Boss points at the board with a skeleton and the number twenty-six above it. The Boss says, "In retrospect, that was a mistake." The Boss continues, "We had to injure nine employees to meet the goal." The Boss hands out a piece of paper and says, "If you have an injury, fill out this form immediately." Wally and Dilbert look at the forms. Wally says, "These are resignation forms." The Boss holds up the paper and says, "If you cover the word 'resignation' with your thumb, it's an injury report." Wally turns to Dilbert and says, "This place makes me sick." Dilbert says, "We'll miss you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 06, 2001's comic on:


Tags #low battery indicator, #work day and night, #health decline, #other peoples problems, #creep likes

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The feature creep Creep: Is it too late to give our product a low battery indicator? Dilbert: Id have to work night and day for a month! My health would decline and Id miss all my objectives! Creep: I jus realized that other peoples problems make me all warm inside.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 05, 2002's comic on:


Tags #boss in jail, #morale skyrocketed, #profits soared, #life had meaning, #luck, #two days

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The Boss says to Carol, "What happened while I was in jail?" Carol responds, "Morale skyrocketed, profits soared, and for the first time, life had meaning." The Boss walks into his office and thinks, "It's just my luck that I'd miss those two days."