Most Instinct Comic Strips - Page 4
262 Results for Most Instinct
View 31 - 40 results for most instinct comic strips. Discover the best "Most Instinct" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share November 16, 2002's comic on:
The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "We need a clear strategy. Does anyone have a suggestion?" Dilbert says, "Let's figure out what makes us the most profit, and then do more of it." The Boss responds, "It needs to be less clear than that." Wally asks, "Can it be illegal?"
Share April 09, 2003's comic on:
Dogbert stands on The Boss' desk and says, "You need a body double. They're popular with your most successful despots." Dogbert continues, "If someone tries to ambush you into making a decision, the double will take the hit." The Boss approaches Asok with a pointy-haired hat in his hands and says, "I want you to think of this as your own personal dress code."
Share May 14, 2003's comic on:
Alice enters Dilbert's cubicle and says, "The corner cubicle opened up. I plan to make it mine." Alice chuckles and says continues, "That's right: I'll be sitting in the most prestigious cubicle in the entire row! Fear me!" Alice laughs harder and adds, "Buwaha! From there I will control the window shades and harness the sun!" Dilbert responds, "Please.. no screen glare."
Share October 15, 2004's comic on:
The Boss: "Our new vice president of ethics will help you decide what's right and wrong." Wally: "When we talk to him, what customer's project should we charge for our time?" The Boss: "Whichever one we hate the most."
Share December 15, 2005's comic on:
"I'm Vijay, the world's most desperate venture capitalist." "The VC business is more competitive than ever. I'm going to stalk you until you come up with an idea worth funding." "No pressure, but all of my kids have crooked teeth."
Share January 30, 2007's comic on:
Dogbert: I analyzed the DNA of all of your applicants to find the best fit for the job. The most qualified applicant who is willing to work for you has three ears, a snout, and a life expectancy of Thursday." The Boss: Dilbert, meet the new guy. And do it quickly." cough cough
Share September 02, 2012's comic on:
Dilbert: I heard a rumor that Apple's next phone will have a 20-megapixel camera. Topper: That's nothing! I heard you'll be able to hold the phone to your head and take a picture of your thoughts. And even that's nothing. Their next phone will be a time machine! Future Topper: Here I am from the future! I'm the most handsome man in the universe! Topper: So am I! Wally: He makes a good case for buying an Android phone. Both Toppers: I love me more than me. Topper hijack
Share November 01, 2008's comic on:
Share June 20, 2010's comic on:
The Boss says, "A good leader uses a process for making decisions." Dilbert says, "May I take this one?" Wally says, "Go." Alice says, "Make us proud." Dilbert says, "Question: If making a decision is just a process, why can't a computer do it?" The Boss says, "Because sometimes I have to rely on my gut." Dilbert says, "Which part of your gut is the smart part? Is it the stomach lining, or maybe the colon?" The Boss says, "I'm talking about instinct. It's an indefinable leadership quality." Dilbert says, "Is the indefinable thing like a superstition?" Wally says, "Or cooties?" The Boss says, "It's a process!" Dilbert says, "Is that your colon talking?"
Share March 20, 2005's comic on:
I missed the introductions. "I'll use my manager instinct to figure out who's important." "Only a senior executive could get away without looking so disengaged." "I'll mirro his mannerisms so he'll like me." "Now for a witty side comment." "Ha ha! That will happend when monkeys fly our of my nose." "No reaction! He must be so important that he has no sense of humor!" "I pledge my loyalty to you and only you!!!" "I heard that you pledged your loyalty to a daed guy." "At least he won't ask for much."