Predictable Behavior Comic Strips - Page 4
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Judy, a dog in a dress, says to Dilbert, "I guess a good night kiss is out of the question." Dilbert throws a stick and says, "Fetch!" Judy turns to follow the stick. Dilbert leans against the door and says, "That ended more gracefully than most of my dates."
Rex: Dogbert, what's the congress? Dogbert: They make laws, Rex. Rex: Then what does the president do? Dogbert: He vetoes the laws. It's called balance of power. Rex: I guess they don't get paid much for doing that. Dogbert: Here's the confusing part...
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dogbert asks, "Who would win if a giant moth fought a giant but modest bee in an all-wool jumpsuit?" Dilbert says, "Wait . . . Who's wearing the jumpsuit -- the giant moth or the giant bee?" Dogbert replies, "The bee." Dilbert asks, "Is this just hypothetical?"
Dogbert says, "Your Chihuahua disguise is good, Ratbert, but you must also learn to THINK like a Chihuahua." Dogbert continues, "To think like a Chihuahua, imagine the sound of one hand clapping." Ratbert yells, "Ouch! I sprained my brain! Yip yip yip yip yip!!!" Dogbert says, "Good, good . . ."
Man: Hey, aren't you one of those chihuahua dogs? Ratbert: The disguise is working. Man: Unless... Maybe you're just a rat in a turtleneck sweater, pretending to be a chihuahua. Ratbert: Think fast. Man: I don't have the attention span to think about it. Ratbert: What did he mean by, "just a rat"?
Dilbert, Wally, the Boss and a man sit at a conference table. Dilbert asks Wally, "Any luck trying to get fired?" Wally replies, "No . . But I'll get that severance package yet." Wally continues, "This morning I Krazy-glued farm animals to the Boss, but he STILL won't deal with all the bureaucracy to fire me." The Boss has a chicken glued to his head and a pig and a cow glued to each arm. The Boss says, "The staff meeting may run a little long today."
Dilbert lies on a couch and a therapist sits next to the couch taking notes. Dilbert says, ". . . My dog started charging me to pet him . . ." Dilbert continues, "I haven't hugged Mom since I was twelve . . . My dates are always disasters . . . I just need to touch somebody." Dilbert holds out his hand and says, "Good session, Doc. Thanks." The psychologist says, "Nice try."