Punish Son Comic Strips - Page 4

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65 Results for Punish Son

View 31 - 40 results for punish son comic strips. Discover the best "Punish Son" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 24, 2012's comic on:


Tags #carbon dioxide, #exhales endangered species, #fabrications, #harbard, #higgs boson particle, #licorice and flashlight, #national football league, #no bragging rights, #no kids, #training for olympics

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Coworker: My daughter is training for the Olympics. My son is going to Harvard. Dilbert: I have no spawn of my own, so I claim the right to name a proxy to brag on my behalf. Topper, I need you. Topper: OF course you do. My daughter discovered the Higgs boson particle using nothing but licorice and a flashlight. My son inhales carbon dioxide and exhales endangered species while playing in the National Football League. Coworker: This isn't fair! You can't just make up stuff! Topper: According to the president of the International Society of Boasters, fabrications are acceptable. Coworker: I'd like to talk to that guy. Topper: You're looking at him. Dilbert: I win.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 09, 1993's comic on:


Tags #punishment, #phil, #Dilbert, #ed from accounting, #accounting, #devil, #morals

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Phil the Ruler of Heck points his spear at Dilbert. Dilbert says, "It's 'Phil, the Prince of Insufficient Light!'" Phil says, "I saw you take that chair." Phil shouts, "I summon all the demons and trolls of Heck to come forth and punish you now!!!" A man enters and says, "I'm Ed, from accounting. The others are at lunch."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 06, 1995's comic on:


Tags #attractive incentives, #elbonia, #zero taxes, #cheerful, #leave labor, #environmental regulations, #best you can do, #lawn ornament

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The Boss, Dogbert and an Elbonian sit around a conference table. The Elbonian says, "We're offering attractive incentives to companies that move to Elbonia." The Elbonian continues, "Zero taxes, cheerful slave labor, amnesty from any inconvenient laws, and absolutely no environmental regulations!" The Boss asks, "Is that the best you can do?" The Elbonian hands a baby across the table and says, "Here, use my first born son as a lawn ornament."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 09, 1996's comic on:


Tags #touchy feely institute, #teamwork, #exercise, #trust, #son blank checks, #excellent quality, #other people should have, #health

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The Boss, Dilbert, Wally, Alice and Dogbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I've hired the 'Dogbert Touchy-Feely Institute' to teach use about teamwork." Dogbert says, "We'll start with an exercise about trust. I want each of you to sign blank checks and give them to me." As they all hand Dogbert checks, Dilbert asks, "What will this teach us about trust?" Dogbert replies, "It will teach you that trust is an excellent quality for other people to have."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 04, 1997's comic on:


Tags #policies, #use prodcuts, #will to live, #new corporate policy, #not intended to punish

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Wally, Asok and the Boss sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Our new corporate policy is that all employees must use the products we sell." Asok screams and shouts, "What have we done to deserve this??!!!" Asok asks Wally, "So you're saying that many of these policies are NOT intended to be punishments?" Wally replies, "You get used to it after you lose your will to live."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 21, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #crabby, #defies, #society, #reward, #power, #crabdom, #worthless

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Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert asks, "Have you ever noticed how crabby people always get what they want?" Dogbert continues, "It defies all reason. Society should punish the crabby, but instead they get rewarded." Dogbert continues, "So why fight it? I've decided to try the power of crabdom myself." Dilbert says, "I'm working. Could we talk later?" Dogbert says angrily, "Later?! Later?! Is my time worthless to you? What about MY needs?" Dogbert continues, "We'll talk NOW or we won't talk ever again!!" Dilbert replies, "Okay, okay! Let's talk." Dilbert asks, "Or were you just testing the power of crabdom?" Dogbert says, "Now you will dance for me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 20, 1998's comic on:


Tags #filberts mother, #still loves son, #loves unicrons

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Dilbert's Mom pours a cup of coffee. Dilbert has a unicorn horn growing out of his forehead. Dilbert says, "At least I can count on my mom to love me, despite my horn." Dilbert's Mom says, "Yes, of course, albeit not as much as before." Dilbert says, "How much less?" Dilbert's mom says, "Don't worry my love of unicorns practically covers the gap."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 15, 1995's comic on:


Tags #avoid completing, #do it right, #does anything, #fear of mistakes, #higher quality, #inspire, #morale low, #new philosophy, #paralyzed, #punish anybody, #realize mistakes, #value opinion, #victims

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Wally, Dilbert, Alice and the Boss sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Our new philosophy is 'We do it right the first time.'" The Boss continues, "This will inspire you to higher quality because you'll realize mistakes are not tolerated." Dilbert says, "Question." Dilbert asks, "Since mistakes are inevitable, wouldn't your philosophy

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 23, 2000's comic on:


Tags #exceeding expectations, #padding objectives, #whistle blower, #award

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Wally says, "As you know, I'm the only employee who is not exceeding expectations." Wally says, "You should punish the others for unscrupulously padding their objectives! Those lying weasels!!" Wally asks The Boss, "Can I get a Whistle-Blower Award for this?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 22, 2002's comic on:


Tags #dilebrt the sales guy, #mother, #overpirced, #hard to use, #spit, #packaging, #mom, #surprised, #mother and son, #Family

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Headline: Dilbert the Sales Guy. Dilbert's mom is holding his product. She says, "I wouldn't buy this @#!%!!& with YOUR money." Dilbert's mom continues, "It's overpriced, hard to use, full of bugs and it solves no problem." Dilbert's mom continues, "I spit on your packaging!" Dilbert responds, "Um.. Mom.."