Quality S Primary Goal Comic Strips - Page 4

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View 31 - 40 results for quality s primary goal comic strips. Discover the best "Quality S Primary Goal" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ergonomic key board, #big q, #porgram, #quality, #tletter q, #whiny customers

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A co-worker shows Dilbert and Wally a keyboard. The co-worker says, "This ergonomic keyboard is our fist product developed under the 'Big Q' program." The man continues, "The 'Q' stands for quality." Dilbert says, "Speaking of Q . . . it's missing the letter Q." The man says angrily, "You sound just like our whiny customers." Dilbert says, I guess the 'Q' stands for 'uality.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pursue goal, #world domination, #talk radio host, #unique conservative view, #deserve mockery, #flawed view, #intelligent questions

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Dogbert says to Dilbert who is sitting at his desk, "I think the best way to pursue my goal of world domination is to become a talk radio host." Dogbert continues, "I'll promote my unique conservative viewpoint that people are idiots who deserve to be mocked." Dilbert asks, "Won't people show your viewpoint to be flawed by virtue of their intelligent questions?" Dogbert asks, "Like that one?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #heavy weight, #boxing cahampion, #new goal, #ratbert, #too small, #slow, #clueless, #catching on

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Ratbert says to Bob the Dinosaur, "My new goal, Bob, is to be the next heavyweight boxing champion of the world!!" Ratbert continues, "Don't let anybody ever tell you that you're too small or too slow or too uncoordinated." Bob interjects, "Or too clueless." Ratbert responds, "Exactly! Now you're catching on."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alarmed, #rat floating, #mid air, #rendered invisible, #worthless assignments, #bad attitude, #quality meeting

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The Boss is surprised to see Ratbert hanging in midair. Ratbert says, "Don't be alarmed. I'm not really a rat floating in midair." Ratbert continues, "I'm clinging to the back of an employee who has been rendered invisible by a long succession of worthless assignments." The Boss comments, "Looks like an isolated case of bad attitude." Behind the Boss, a beaver is suspended in midair. The beaver asks, "Which room is the 'quality' meeting in?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #writing email, #protest new policy, #empty trash, #highly paid engineers, #unproductive tsak, #inventing the future, #quality faire

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Wally stands behind Dilbert's desk. Dilbert says, "I'm writing an e-mail to protest the new policy of making the employees empty their own trash at night." Dilbert continues, "It's stupid to have highly paid engineers doing unproductive tasks when we could be inventing the future!" Wally asks, "Are you coming to the 'Quality Faire?'" Dilbert answers, "No, this will take another hour."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meets goal, #quarter, #save head, #big imporvement, #save money, #haircut, #double goal, #less experinced, #employees, #business

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The Boss stands in front of Alice, Wally and Dilbert and announces, "If the department meets its goal for the quarter you can shave my head!" Dilbert says, "That would be a big improvement." Wally says, "He's trying to save money on a haircut." Someone asks, "If we double our goal can we iron your shirt, too?" The Boss thinks, "I need some less experienced employees."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #act as sales people, #dilberts mother, #primary rate circuit, #frame delay drop, #packet data, #tough sale

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Dilbert and his mother sit on the couch. Dilbert shows his mother a document and says, "My company asked all employees to act as salespeople to friends and family. I think you could use this, Mom." Dilbert's mother says, "Why would I need a primary rate circuit? I've already got a frame relay drop to my web server in the sewing room." Dilbert thinks, "This is going to be a tough sale." Dilbert's mother says, "Hello-o-o! Earth to Dilbert! This is packet data . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #payroll computer, #gie raise, #Dogbert, #not ethical, #five percent raise, #quality of work

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Dogbert stands at Dilbert's desk working on the computer and Dilbert sits next to him. Dilbert says, "It isn't ethical to hack into the payroll computer and give me a raise, Dogbert." Dogbert replies, "Not ethical?? Is it ethical for them to make you work seventy hours a week and only pay you for forty??!!" Dilbert asks, "How about a five percent raise?" Dogbert replies, "Well, there is the issue of the quality of your work . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business plans fail, #realistic goal, #manage spectacular failures, #promoted first, #most cycnical

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Dilbert sits on the couch and Dogbert sits on the armrest. Dogbert says, "Most business plans fail. Obviously, success is not a realistic goal." Dogbert continues, "But the people who manage the most spectacular failures get promoted first because of their experience." Dilbert says, "That is the most cynical thing I've ever heard in my life!" Dogbert replies, "Thanks. I'm blushing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #primary vendor, #make a choice, #impractical solution

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Dilbert says to the Boss, ". . . But our primary vendor can't deliver, so . . ." The Boss ignores Dilbert and thinks, "I wonder what's on tv tonight." Dilbert continues, ". . . Should we risk a lawsuit or build a product that nobody on earth wants?" The Boss thinks, "Did he ask me to make a choice?" Dilbert thinks, "Will it be a request for information or an impractical solution?" The Boss says, "Let's do both!"