Sell To Customers Comic Strips - Page 4
257 Results for Sell To Customers
View 31 - 40 results for sell to customers comic strips. Discover the best "Sell To Customers" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share April 10, 1995's comic on:
A co-worker shows Dilbert and Wally a keyboard. The co-worker says, "This ergonomic keyboard is our fist product developed under the 'Big Q' program." The man continues, "The 'Q' stands for quality." Dilbert says, "Speaking of Q . . . it's missing the letter Q." The man says angrily, "You sound just like our whiny customers." Dilbert says, I guess the 'Q' stands for 'uality.'"
Share June 09, 1991's comic on:
Dogbert sits at the desk typing. Dilbert asks, "What are you working on?" Dogbert replies, "I'm writing my own encyclopedia to sell for large profits." Dilbert asks, "How could you write an entire encyclopedia by yourself?" Dogbert replies, "It's abridged. I had to cut some corners to get it all in five pages." Dilbert says, "Five pages?! You condensed the history and knowledge of the world into five pages?!!" Dogbert replies, "Actually, it's mostly about me . . . The other stuff didn't seem important." Dogbert continues, "But I threw in some stuff about Canada to make it seem thorough." Dilbert reads, "'Canada has trees.'" Dogbert says, "I'll have to tighten that section a bit."
Share January 25, 1996's comic on:
The Boss, Dogbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss points at Dogbert who is growling and says, "I've asked Dogbert to get rid of our most troublesome customers." Dogbert says, "Ten percent of your customers account for ninety percent of your service costs. They must be eliminated." Alice asks, "Is that the same group of customers who actually USE our product?" Dogbert replies, "Plus the ones who were injured unpacking it."
Share March 05, 1996's comic on:
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table reading documents. Dilbert says, "I have to turn this fifty-page proposal into a one-paragraph executive summary for our CEO. It's impossible." Dogbert responds, "Simple." Dogbert says, "How about 'give us three million dollars so we can buy cool technology, pump up our resumes and escape this festering boil you call a company?'" Dilbert says, "I feel obligated to say something about our customers." Dogbert says, "How about 'I'm glad I'm not one of them.'"
Share March 25, 1996's comic on:
Dilbert, Wally, the Boss and another employee sit at a conference table. Dilbert holds a software box and says, "At long last our product is complete. It ships tomorrow." The other employee says, "That's terrific. I only have a few additional features to add and the marketing department will be happy." The Boss says, "Okay." The Boss continues, "I believe that our customers want hardware, not software." Wally says to Dilbert, "It's times like this I wish I were a psychopath." Dilbert asks, "You're not?"
Share August 10, 1996's comic on:
The Boss, Alice and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "You employees are the key to our economic success." The Boss explains, "Anytime we need a little stock-price boost, we just fire another batch of you. It's like printing money!" The Boss holds up a chart and says, "In fact, 'incompetence' has become our most profitable product." Alice says, "Wow. It beat out 'lying to customers.'"
Share July 28, 1997's comic on:
The Boss walks up to Dilbert who is sitting at his computer. The Boss says, "Great news! Our strongest competitor offered to sell us their product line." Dilbert says, "Obviously they think their products are not viable. We'd have to be amazingly stupid..." The Boss interputs, "And you'll be in charge of integrating their product line with ours." Dilbert finishes, "...to work here."
Share August 13, 1997's comic on:
Dilbert peers over his cubilce at Wally. Dilbert says, "There's a rumor the company is moving to SOuth Dakota for tax reasons." Wally hangs up his coat and says, "Do you seriously think they would disrupt the lives of thousands of employees just to save money on taxes?" Dilbert replies, "I think they'd kill us all in our sleep and sell our organs if the return on investment was good." Wally says, "Stop it. I'll be afraid to sleep in my cubicle now."
Share February 18, 1998's comic on:
Dilbert sits at his computer, hand on the mouse. Dogbert stands on the desk and says, "I'm going to make an infomercial." Dogbert starts wagging his tail and says, "I'm targeting the people who want to invest their savings, but don't know how." Dilbert says, "I hope you plan to sell educational information about how to avoid scams." Dogbert says, "Good idea for phase two!"
Share March 19, 1998's comic on:
Dilbert looks over his cubicle wall. The Boss says, "Our user manual has a typo. Our technical support calls are going to a phone sex place." The Boss says, "Complaints are way down." Customer's House: The customer sits at his computer and says into the telephone, "Well, okay, but... has that ever worked?" The voice on the other end of the line says, "No complaints yet."