Smart Like You Comic Strips - Page 4
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Dogbert sits on his pillow thinking, "Sometimes I think gravity is only an illusion." Dogbert thinks, "Maybe other great thinkers realized gravity is mental and were thus freed of its restrictions." Dogbert thinks, "Which could explain why all the smart people have apparently been flung into space." Dilbert enters and says, "It's time for 'Wheel of Fortune.'"
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "Here's a brochure for my new miracle mineral water spa." Dilbert reads the pamphlet and says, "You claim that the water at our house will make people smart, beautiful and healthy." Dogbert says, "If anybody asks, tell then you don't drink water."
Dogbert says to Dilbert, "What do you think of those strange circles found in British wheat fields?" Dilbert replies, "Obviously, messages from highly intelligent aliens." Dogbert asks, "If they're so smart, why do they have to send messages by stomping on wheat?" Dilbert says, "Maybe they underestimated our intelligence." Dogbert says, "Or not."
Dilbert sits at a conference table with three people. Dilbert thinks, "I haven't spoken for this whole meeting." Dilbert thinks, "I'll wait for a quiet space and chime in with something that makes me look smart." The man next to Dilbert asks, "Does anybody have any unproductive yet insightful comments to show how smart they are?" Dilbert waves his hand and says, "Yo."
Dogbert flies through the sky in a hover-saucer. Dogbert thinks, "I should be able to conquer Elbonia in about ten minutes with this thing." Dogbert thinks, "I'll be 'King Dogbert of Elbonia,' despotic yet congenial. Uh-oh." An American missle flies toward the saucer. The missile asks, "Did you watch PBS last night?" Dogbert says, "Aaagh!!! It's a smart missile! It's boring in on me!!"
Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert enters holding a paper bag and says, "I bought some 'Smart Pills' for you. They're made from Chinese herbs." Dogbert continues, "I saw a news story about these . . . And naturally I thought of you." Dogbert says as he walks away, "I've discovered the perfect gift item."
Dilbert: "I'm telling you - if nobody gets a raise, half the engineers will quit!" The Boss: "That's the goal. We're trying to reduce headcount by fifty percent." Dilbert: "But all the smart people will leave!" Dilbert: "Would you mind organizing a goodbye potluck lunch for them?"
"When I hired the 'Dogbert Consulting Company' he said his consultants were so smart they had to wrap their brains around their torsos." "But that looks like a slab of liver." "This slab of liver has an MBA from Harvard, you pointy-haired fool!!" "Wow, you guys are good debaters."
Dilbert: "This was our third date, Liz. Tradition demands that you kiss me or give me the 'let's be friends' talk." LIZ: "No, our first date only counted as 85 % because we were wearing our sweat pants." DILBERT: "I'm 15 % short?!!" LIZ: "It's too bad, because I really felt like kissing."