2017 Comic Strips - Page 4
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Character
Monday January 30,
2017
Robotic Hair Transplant
Tags coffee, conversation, hair, surgery, medical
Transcript
Never go to a robotic hair transplant center on the same day they upgrade the software. Is that the surgery where they take hair from the back of your head and fill in the bald spot? That's how the old software worked. The new one didn't respect boundaries.
Tuesday January 31,
2017
Robot Lawyer Writes Gibberish
Wednesday February 01,
2017
Robot Lawyer Has Comments
Thursday February 02,
2017
Wally Doesn't Open Email
Tags aversion, avoiding, communication, email, evasion, excuse, work ethic
Transcript
Did you get the file I sent by email? No. If i open email I'll see thirty urgent messages that will ruin my entire day. Can you open it tomorrow? You should try to live in the moment.
Friday February 03,
2017
Family Of Squirrels In A Tire
Tags competition, management, managers, obliviousness, direction
Transcript
Boss: Why can't we innovate as quickly as our competition? Dilbert: Maybe it's because our management is like a family of squirrels that lives inside an old tree. Boss: Can you be more specific? Dilbert: It's a Goodyear tire with five grey squirrels.
Saturday February 04,
2017
Days Off Versus More Pay
Tags catch-22, wages, trick question, vacation, compensation, money
Transcript
Boss: Would you rather have more days off or more pay? Alice: Days off. Dilbert: Days off. Wally: Days off. Boss: You were right-- we're paying them too much.
Monday February 06,
2017
Agile Methodology
Tags agile, coding, engineer, method, misunderstanding, software, technology, engineering
Transcript
Boss: We're moving to an agile methodology for software development. I don't know all of the details, but I think one of you has to be designated the scrumbag. Does that sound right? Dilbert: It's better than I expected.
Tuesday February 07,
2017
Standup Meeting
Tags software, engineer, coding, jargon, language, technology, engineering
Transcript
Dilbert: Are you coming to the standup meeting? Wally: Is it okay if I sit instead? Dilbert: No, that would ruin the software. Dilbert: Did that make sense when I said it? Wally: No, and it isn't aging well either.
Wednesday February 08,
2017
Keeping The Boss Away
Tags managers, interference, huddle, scrum
Transcript
Boss: What time is the team huddle? Dilbert: I can't tell you. As the team scrum, it is my job to keep you from interfering. Boss: Then I guess we're both doing what we're supposed to do. Dilbert: Sadly, yes.
Thursday February 09,
2017
Faking Their Own Deaths
Tags managers, distraction, subversion, alias, espionage, hiding, productivity
Transcript
Dilbert: My job as the team scrum for our agile methodology is to remove distractions so you can work. I've created fake identities for each of us, and I'll be spreading the rumor that we all died. Carol: I heard they all died. Boss: Nice try. I will find them!


