Phil Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

55 Results for Phil

View 31 - 40 results for Phil comic strips. Discover the best "Phil" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags phil, ruler of heck, pitchspoon, minor sins, merging company, non alcoholic beer, synergy, bad pun

View Transcript

Transcript

Phil says, "I used to be Phil The Ruler of Heck. My pitchspoon was feared by all who committed minor sins." Asok leans on Phil's desk. Phil says, "Then I made the mistake of merging with a company that makes non-alcoholic beer. I was ousted." Phil screams, "They said we'd have synergy!" Asok suggests, "Maybe it was just a bad pun."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags write resume, large fee, Dogbert, having trouble, invented coffee, patent

View Transcript

Transcript

Phil, former ruller of Heck, now head of the Analogy Police, says to Dogbert, "Can you help me write a resume?" Dogbert obliges, "Yes, for a large fee." Phil says, "How do I know you're qualified." Dogbert says, "Check my resume." Phil says, "I have a hard time believing you invented coffee." Dogbert rebutts, "Check my patent."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags career counseling, job involving sin, bingo field, budget work, no marketing, no auditing, no garnet manuafacturing

View Transcript

Transcript

Chil is consulting Dogbert about his career. He says, "I'd be good at any job involving sin." Phil says, "Perhaps something in the bingo field, or maybe budget work." Dogbert suggests, "How about marketing?" Phil frowns, "I have a soul. It's just a small one." Dogbert says, "Gotcha. No marketing... no auditing... no garment manufacturing..."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags what vendor, too late, indecisive dullards

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally, Dilbert, and Ted sitting at table with pieces of paper in front of them on desk. Ted says, "I'd like to reopen the question of what vendor we'll use, even though it's too late to change anything." Ted sitting at table while Phil, the Ruler of Heck stands over him. Phil exclaims, "I darn you to heck! You will spend an eternity with other indecisive dullards!" Dilbert and Ted at table while Phil stands next to Ted. A frightened Ted asks Phil, "Where are you taking me??!" Phil calmly replies, "Here is fine."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new bonus plan, peak perfromance, bonus, goods mine, car won't start

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss, Asok, Dilbert and wally sit at a conference table. The boss says, "Introducing the new bonus plan." ASok raises his hand and says, "Yes!!! I'm already working at peak performance, so that bonus is as good as mine!" Phil appears behind asok and says, "Asok, Mr. Reality wanted to visit you, but his car won't start. I'm Phil."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags secret lair, teach reality, dumpster, cubicle, french fry, lumbar support

View Transcript

Transcript

Phil drags Asok by his tie. Phil says, "Asok, come to my lair and I will teach you about reality." Asok and Phil stand by a dumpster. ASok says, "Your secret lair is a dumpster?" Phil says, "Get in" Asok and Phil sit in the middle of the trash in the dumpster. Asok says, "It's like my cubicle, but with much better lumbar support!" Phil eats a french fry and says, "French fry?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags life like dumpster, stinks, reincarnate, both hands stink, life stinks, devil, dumpter

View Transcript

Transcript

Phil and Asok sit up to the necks in trash in a dumpster. Phil says, "Asok, life is like this dumpster." Phil says, "On one hand, it stinks..." Asok says, "Both of my hands stink now." Phil says, "And then you reincarnate."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags wax spoon, huge spoon, reapy, gartitude

View Transcript

Transcript

Phil and Asok walk. Asok says, "Phil, you have atught me so muach about life. How can I repay you?" Phil says, "You can wax my huge spoon." Asok says, "Why do have a huge spoon?" Phil says, "I'm just lucky, I guess."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags waiting, stock isn't vested, over flow, limbo, hell

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert thinks to himself in front of his computer terminal: "I can't do anything because I'm always waiting for someone else." Phil, the Ruler of Heck, appears and says to Dilbert: "And you can't quit because your stock isn't vested." Dilbert asks Phil: "Am I in Heck?" The latter replies: "No. I'm just working the overflow from limbo."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags limbo, a division of heck, career limbo section, wait to be seated

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is at the threshold of an entrance bearing the sign: "Limbo, a division of Heck." Phil, the Ruler of Heck, tells Dilbert: "Step inside." Inside, standing by a "Please wait to be seated" sign, Phil informs Dilbert: "You'll be sitting in the Career Limbo section. Goodbye." Arms akimbo, Dilbert thinks to himself: "Jeepers! The service here is terrible!"