Ugly Website Comic Strips - Page 4

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View 31 - 40 results for Ugly Website comic strips. Discover the best "Ugly Website" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anti rust, #bald, #big field, #butterfly turned opera singer, #car dealer, #data compression, #dream analysts, #extended warranty, #new algorythm, #running against wind, #sealant, #serious money

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Someone reaches for a door labeled "Dogbert's Dream Analysis." Dogbert and a man sit at a conference table. The man says, "I was in a big field full of tofu and carburetors." Dogbert says, "It means you're a gullible moron. That's $25 please." A woman tells Dogbert, "Then I was running, running, running against the wind." Dogbert replies, "That means you're ugly." Wally tells Dogbert, "Then the butterfly turned into an opera singer." Dogbert says, "That means you're bald." Dilbert tells Dogbert, "Suddenly I saw a new algorythm for data compression." Dogbert replies, "It means you're boring." The Boss tells Dogbert, "Then I told the car dealer I wanted the anti-rust sealant, the extended warranty and the lease option." The Boss asks, "What do you think it means?" Dogbert replies, "It means I'm going to make some serious money today."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cat likes petting, #Catbert, #company resources, #evil, #hr director, #pet cat, #soft furry belly, #ugly incident

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Catbert says to Tina, "It has come to my attention that you used company resources to send e-mail to your boyfriend." Catbert continues, "I'm willing to overlook this ugly incident in exchange for five minutes of quality petting on my soft, furry belly." Tina pets Catbert's stomach and says, "This seems so wrong." Catbert says, "Try using both hands."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accounting, #airfare, #business trip, #saturday, #reimburse, #saturday hotel costs, #business activity, #understand, #economic choices, #waste money, #ugly brain dead troll, #free lunch money

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Dilbert approaches the cave where the accounting department is located. He groans. Dilbert tells a troll, "I saved $500 in airfare by extending my business trip to Saturday." Dilbert asks, "Why won't you reimburse me for the Saturday hotel costs?" The troll replies, "Saturday was not a business-related activity." Dilbert says, "Hmm . . . Let me see if I understand this . . ." Dilbert continues, "It's NOT business-related to make sensible economic choices . . ." Dilbert continues, "But it IS business-related to waste money like an ugly, brain-dead troll . . ." Dilbert arrives at home with his arm in a sling and wearing disheveled clothes. He tells Dogbert, "Then he beat me up and took my lunch money." Dogbert asks, "Are you saying I can get free lunch money by beating you up?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pointy haired boss, #speakerphone, #important engineer training, #talks back to speakerphone, #boss heard insults

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Dilbert, Alice, Wally and Asok sit at a conference table. Dilbert says, "Our pointy-haired boss will be joining us by speakerphone." Alice tells Asok, "This is an important part of your engineering trainig, Asok." Asok asks, "What do I do?" Wally explains, "When Alice presses the mute button, you make witty and sarcastic remarks." The phone rings. The Boss says, "Hello, everyone. I'd like to talk about the new compensation plan." Alice presses a button and points to Asok. Asok says, "Tell us some lies, you ugly, two-faced, hypocritical troll!" Asok continues, "I am Asok the Intern and I spit on your feeble compensation plan!" Asok continues, "I've found stuff on the bottom of my shoe that was smarter than you!!" He laughs. Dilbert and Asok walk out of the conference room. Dilbert says, "Next time, a bit wittier . . . And make sure Alice really presses the mute button."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #assignment, #electrical engineer, #redesign brochures, #highly skilled engineer, #not graphic designer, #ugly brochure

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The Boss says, "You'll love your new assignment, Alice." Alice thinks, "Uh-oh." The Boss says, "You're going to redesign all of our brochures!" Alice replies, "I'm an electrical engineer, not a graphic artist." The Boss says, "We can discuss your huge inadequacies during your annual review." Alice replies, "I'm not inadequate. I'm a highly skilled engineer." The Boss says, "And yet you can't make brochures." Alice says, "Okay, let me try to explain this in the simplest possible way . . ." Alice continues, "You . . . Are . . . An . . . Idiot." Alice sits at her desk thinking, "The simplest possible explanation isn't always the best." Wally stands behind her and says, "Hey, it looks like a brochure, only uglier!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fashion headquarters, #supermodel, #beauty mark, #look unhealthy, #silly putty, #sexy unhealthy

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At Fashion Headquarters, an ugly looking woman with short hair and fashionably outdated glasses says, "You could be our next supermodel. I love the tumor." Dogbert wags his tail and says, "It's a beauty mark." The woman says, "We prefer our supermodels to look unhealthy in a sexy way." Dogbert says, "Okay, it's a tumor." Dogbert wags his tail some more and says, "I can add a few more. It's just Silly Putty." The woman puts out her arms to stop him and says, "No, it would be easy to overdo that sort of thing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogbert the supermodel, #lingerie shoot, #short round guy, #black socks, #ice

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The ugly lady with the fashionably outdated glasses is wearing a toga and sandals. She hands Dogbert a pair of black dress socks and says, "Your first assignment is a lingerie shoot. You'll be wearing black socks." Dogbert has a lump of silly putty on his head as a 'beauty tumor.' The woman says, "There's nothing sexier than a short round guy in black socks." Dogbert sits on a table or block. Dogbert, wearing the dress socks, looks at himself in a hand mirror and wags his tail. He says, "Wow! This works!" Heat is rising off the ugly woman and she says, "Quick! Get me a big block of ice to sit on!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #website, #webbish, #how long, #office, #technology

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The boss says to Dilbert, who is sitting at his computer: "The web site needs to be more webbish" The boss says to Dilbert: "But not to webbish" The boss says to Dilbert: "How long will that take?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #webmistress ming, #website, #dancing skeletins, #suggest dinosuar, #pictures, #technology

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Webmistress Ming: The boss is sitting in front of his computer and Ming is standing taking notes. The boss says, "Our web site needs some dancing skeletons." The boss says, "Normally I'd suggest dinosaur pictures but they're too big for our disk drives." Ming takes notes. The boss says, "Are you getting this down, Ming?" Mign answers, "How do you spell "#%*@!"?" and walks away.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #website, #various sponcers, #pay for eyeballs, #link to us, #owe ourselves, #billion dollars, #technology

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Dilbert, Ming,the new web employee, and the boss are sitting at a table. Ming has a sheet of paper on the table. Ming says: "I linked our web site to various sponsors who pay us for eyeballs." Ming says:"Those sponsors link to other web sites who link to us." Ming says to the boss:"The net-net at the end of the day is we owe ourselves a billion dollars." The boss thinks: "eyeballs?", while expressing disgust.