Afford Enetertainment Comic Strips - Page 4

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46 Results for Afford Enetertainment

View 31 - 40 results for afford enetertainment comic strips. Discover the best "Afford Enetertainment" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vacation, #pretending, #economy, #recession, #cat, #kitty litter, #confused, #animals

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Vacationing in a bad economy Alice says, "I can't afford a big vacation this year." Alice says, "So I bought some kitty litter and a 100-watt bulb. It's exactly like being at the beach." Catbert thinks, "This could turn ugly."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #burden to people, #dutch sandwhich, #less appealing name, #tax attorneys, #transfer tax, #taxes

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Dogbert: I can lower your corporate taxes by using a strategy that tax attorneys call "the dutch sandwich" and Im not vice making that up. So...that would transfer our tax burden to people who can't afford tax attorneys. Dogbert: yeah....their sandwich has a less appealing name.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #beverages, #water, #restroom, #bottled water, #sink water, #bring cup

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Dilbert: Before we start, can I offer you a cup of water from our restroom sink? We can't afford bottled water. Customer: Okay, sure. I'll have a cup of sink water. Dilbert: That brings us to the awkward part: did you happen to bring a cup?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business meeting, #cup of water, #not impressed, #fill sink, #bring own cup, #not impressive, #optics

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Customer: I'd like to do business with your company, but I'm concerned that the only beverage you can afford to offer me is water from the restroom sink... and I need to bring my own cup. Dilbert: I also offered to fill the sink and let you lap it out. Customer: And now I'm thirsty!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #obliviousness, #great leader, #hires good people, #no budget, #micromanaging, #half wits, #afford, #business

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Boss: A great leader hires good people and gives them the freedom to do their jobs. But I don't have the budget to hire good people, so I settle for micromanaging the half-wits I can afford. Catbert: Your boss was just in here saying the same thing.

Incompetent Employee Budget Only

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Incompetent Employee Budget Only - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #budget, #catch-22, #incompetence, #funds, #lose funds, #75% competent, #cubicle

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Boss: I only have enough in the budget to hire an employee who is incompetent half of the time. But if I don't use the budget, I will lose those funds next year. Employee: And I am proud to say that I'm 75% competent. Boss: I wish I could afford that.

Alice Can Be Disrespectful

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Alice Can Be Disrespectful - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mocking, #frustration, #power, #helpless

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Boss: Alice mocked me in a meeting and I didn't react. Now she thinks she has the right to be disrespectful all the time. Catbert: You can't afford to lose a top engineer. Just wait it out and she will get tired of it. Alice: Sproink! Look what happens when you tell a lie! Boss: Hold... hold...

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #logic, #reasoning, #managing, #managers, #leadership, #quality, #absurd

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Dilbert: You assigned a pack of idiots to my project team. Boss: We can't afford to hire good people. Dilbert: How am I supposed to create world-class products with a team of disruptive idiots? Boss: Try working extra hard. Dilbert: You want us to be more energetic about our bad decisions? Boss: You also have to put in the hours. Dilbert: Are you saying bad decisions, plus long hours, plus lots of enthusiasm, produces great engineering? Boss: Not if you stand around yacking about it all day.

Tina Isn't An Engineer

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Tina Isn't An Engineer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineer, #evaluation, #value, #catch-22, #fired, #termination, #engineering

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Boss: The company makes me rank all of my employees. I put you last because you're not an engineer. I have to fire whoever is ranked lowest, and I can't afford to lose any engineers. Tina; What if I work harder, and do a great job? Boss: Then I'd fire you for not being a team player.

Cartoonist As Spokesperson

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Cartoonist As Spokesperson - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #spokesperson, #embarrassment, #celebrity, #promoter, #product

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Boss: We're looking for a celebrity spokesperson, but we don't have much budget for it. All we can afford is a cartoonist. Can you do the job for $75? Scott Adams: Deal! Boss: Have you ever done anything on social media that would embarrass us? Scott Adams: I thought that's what it's for.