Antique Thing Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

480 Results for Antique Thing

View 31 - 40 results for antique thing comic strips. Discover the best "Antique Thing" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #conquer, #elbonia, #ten, #minutes, #thing, #Dogbert, #despotic, #congenial, #pbs, #last, #night, #missile, #boring, #smart

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert flies through the sky in a hover-saucer. Dogbert thinks, "I should be able to conquer Elbonia in about ten minutes with this thing." Dogbert thinks, "I'll be 'King Dogbert of Elbonia,' despotic yet congenial. Uh-oh." An American missle flies toward the saucer. The missile asks, "Did you watch PBS last night?" Dogbert says, "Aaagh!!! It's a smart missile! It's boring in on me!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #late, #date, #ellen, #shampoo, #carpets, #Crossword, #puzzle, #attractive, #superiority, #complete, #disregard, #ugly, #adorable, #face, #stunned, #stupor, #flowers

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at a table in a restaurant by himself. He looks at his watch and says, "She's an hour late." A woman approaches the table. Dilbert says, "Hi, Ellen. Didn't we agree on seven?" Ellen replies, "Hi, Dilbert." Ellen says, "I was ready on time but I decided to shampoo my carpets." Ellen continues, "Then I got involved in a crossword puzzle." Ellen explains, "This is how attractive people assert their superiority over the rest of you." Ellen continues, "Don't take it personally. I have a complete disregard for the feelings of all ugly people." Ellen continues, "I'll make this adorable face and you'll go into a stunned-ugly-guy stupor and forget the whole thing." Dilbert asks, "Uh . . . What were we talking about?" Ellen says, "You were explaining why you didn't bring me any flowers."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #chess, #bishop, #rook, #friend, #queen, #uzi, #purse, #slays, #scrabble, #man

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table playing chess. Dilbert says, "Bishop takes rook. I have you now, my friend." As he sweeps the pieces off the game board, Dogbert says, "My queen has an Uzi in her purse. She slays your entire side." Dilbert says, "You did the same thing when we played Scrabble." Dogbert replies, "Take it like a man."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #government, #speech, #ratbert, #country, #freedom, #checklist, #advocate, #overthrowing, #obscene, #generalize, #disadvantaged, #group, #teach, #children, #practical, #lawyer, #refer, #hearing, #distance, #god, #bless, #clear

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert tells Dogbert, "The great thing about this country is that we have freedom of speech!" Ratbert asks, "Is it okay to say that?" Dogbert replies, "Hmm . . . Let's see if it's on the free speech checklist . . ." Dogbert reads a document and says, "Okay, you didn't advocate overthrowing the government . . ." Dogbert continues, "You were not obscene . . . You did not generalize about a disadvantaged group . . . You did not teach children anything useful or practical . . ." Dogbert continues, "You didn't refer to anybody who can afford a lawyer to sue us . . ." Dogbert continues, "And there's nobody within hearing distance who can harm you financially . . . You're clear." Ratbert says, "God bless this country!" Dogbert says, "Whoa! Whoa!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #home, #video, #moment, #vhs, #doctor, #incision, #squiggly, #photogenic

View Transcript

Transcript

A man answers his door and says, "Dilbert! Dogbert!" Dilbert says, "Thanks for inviting us over." The man stands next to a woman and says, "We thought you'd like to see our home video of little Timmy's birth." The man puts the tape in the VCR and says, "We captured every beautiful moment on VHS!" The woman asks, "Have you ever seen a Caesarean section before?" The man points at the screen and says, "The doctor is making the incision!" The man continues, "Now they're removing the squiggly thing!" The woman says, "Wait . . . This might be the wrong tape . . . I think this is your appendectomy video." Dogbert says, "Either that or little Timmy isn't very photogenic."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #lab, #ruebert, #creating, #feminine, #nuture, #serve, #program, #found, #national organization, #Women, #phone, #book, #surprises

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert asks Ruebert the Robot, "What are you doing in my lab, Ruebert?" Ruebert replies, "I am creating a feminine robot to nurture and serve me." Ruebert continues, "I didn't know how to program it, so I found this 'National Organization of Women' in the telephone book . . ." Ruebert continues, "It turns out that this is exactly the kind of thing they like to help with." The female robot asks, "Do you like surprises?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #brett, #hydrogen bomb, #kill, #people, #cool, #suggestion

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and Brett walk toward each other on the sidewalk. Dogbert says to the little boy, "Hi, Brett. What do you have there?" Brett, who is pulling a wagon with a bomb on it, replies, "Hydrogen bomb!!" Dogbert says, "Be careful. You could kill people with that thing." Brett says, "Really? Cool!" Brett pushes the bomb and says, "That's a great suggestion!" Dogbert walks away saying, "I've done better . . ."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #video, #phone, #compatible, #amazing, #society, #advance

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Dogbert, look, I got the first video phone in the city!" Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the desk as Dilbert sets up the video phone. Dilbert says, "Now we wait for somebody else to buy a compatible video phone and call us." Dogbert says, "The amazing thing is that society couldn't advance without people like you." Dilbert says, "I think I saw something."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #company, #survey, #attitudes, #anonymous, #retribution, #dog eared, #phone, #Number, #confidential, #green, #pen, #marker, #eskimo, #objectives

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss enters and says, "Dilbert, do you have a minute?" The Boss continues, "The company is doing an survey of employee attitudes about their bosses." The Boss continues, "It's totally anonymous, so you don't have to fear any retribution." The Boss opens an envelope and says, "Oops! It looks like your questionnaire is a bit dog-eared." The Boss continues, "I'll put my phone number on the confidential envelope in case you need me." The Boss hands Dilbert a pen and says, "You can use this green marker pen." The Boss adds, "Oh, and I took the liberty of checking off your ethnic background as Eskimo. It's just a statistical thing." Dilbert reads, "1. Does your boss clearly communicate your objectives?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #computer, #minutes, #paid, #ripping, #evil, #corporate, #empire, #power, #secret, #myself, #nothing

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk and thinks, "Hey, I haven't done a thing for minutes and yet I still get paid." Dilbert clenches his fists and thinks, "Hoo-hoo-ha! I'm ripping off the evil corporate empire and there's nothing they can do about it! I have total power!" Dilbert thinks, "I'd better keep this little secret to myself." Another employee sits in his cubicle thinking, "Hey, I'm getting paid for doing nothing!"