Assignment Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

108 Results for Assignment

View 31 - 40 results for assignment comic strips. Discover the best "Assignment" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags career, important assignment, folder, office equipment, problems at home

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Asok, "Asok, this will be the most important assignment in your entire career." The Boss continues, "You must affix the asset tages in this folder to our office equipment." Asok begins to whine outloud, shouting "Bwaa-wah-ah!!" The Boss thinks to himself, "He must be having problems at home."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags asset tags, equipment, staplers, not considered equipment, asset tag man, conversation

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says to Dilbert, "My assignment is to put asset tags on all equipment." Asok asks Dilbert, "Did you know that staplers are not considered equipment?" Asok walks away from Dilbert, thinking "No one likes to make conversation with the asset tag man."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags adventures of lulu, no sense of proportion, assinment, work, declares war, anger, resentment

View Transcript

Transcript

The adventures of LULU The woman who has no sense of proportion. GAAA! Does this mean you hate me?!! The Boss: Its called and assignment. LULU: This is war.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags assignment, confronts lulu, dilbert confronts lulu, huge crisis, series of crisises, smite, static guard, god softening

View Transcript

Transcript

LULU: come help me on this assignment. Its a huge crisis! Dilbert: LULU, DO you very wonder why your life is a series of crises? LULU: I assume god is softening me up before smiting me. Dilbert: excuse me while I put on my static guard.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hardening, given more work, central nervous system, suddenly stiff, ripening asok, apathy cream, air hole

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Catbert, "Would you like to join me for a hardening?" Catbert asks, "What's that?" The Boss explains, "A hardening is when an employee is given more work than his central nervous system can handle." The Boss holds his arms out stiffly and says, "His whole body suddenly goes stiff." Catbert says, "I'm in." The Boss says, "I've been ripening Asok all month." Catbert says, "Purrr purrr." The Boss and Catbert look at Asok as he sits as his computer and thinks to himself, "So much work... no time." The Boss, handing Asok a piece of paper, says, "Asok, I have another assignment for you." Asok responds, "Gaaa!!!" Wally and Dilbert peer over Asok's cubicle. Wally says, "I heard a hardening. Get the Apathy Cream." A solid mask of Apathy Cream has been applied to Asok's face. Wally says, "He'll be okay when the apathy sinks in." Dilbert says, "We forgot the air hole."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags highest priority, totally worthless, empowered, make decison, double edged sword

View Transcript

Transcript

Looking at a piece of paper, Dilbert asks The Boss, "Which assignment is the highest priority?" Dilbert asks The Boss, "Is it the totally worthless one or the other totally worthless one?" Dilbert says, "I hope I'm empowered to make that decision." The Boss says, "Hope is a double-edged sword."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags chosen to design, worlds safest nuclear plant, great assignment, safe, not near my house

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "Dilbert, you have been chosen to design the world's safest nuclear power plant." Dilbert replies, "This is the greatest assignment that any engineer could hope for. I'm flattered by the trust you have in me." The Boss responds, "By 'safe' I mean 'not near my house.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags totally safe, nuclear power plant, elbonia, slacve labor, woo-hoo

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Wally and Asok, "Our assignment is to design a totally safe nuclear power plant." Wally responds, "Let's put it in Elbonia. That seems safe to me." An Elbonian says to another, "Our offer of cheerful slave labor paid off!" The other responds, "Woo-Hoo!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags first week, never do work, non work, tasks, thinking, wally period, wally week, want week

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says to Asok, "The first week after getting an assignment is called 'The Wally Period.' Wally continues, "Never do work during the Wally period because most tasks become unnecessary within seven days." Asok exclaims, "I want a period named after me!" Wally replies, "Whoa, Asok. That takes many years of non-work."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags assignment, job, department, manager, pretend job useful, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to The Boss, "Um.. you gave me an assignment that isn't my job and doesn't need to be done." The Boss replies, "I'm trying to take over another department by doing their work. Later I'll say their manager should report to me." Dilbert says, "Could we at least pretend my job is useful?" The Boss replies, "Don't I always?"