Before Sleep Comic Strips - Page 4
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Dilbert and Wally stand in front of the coffee machine. Wally says, "I was a sheep rancher before I worked here." Dilbert asks, "How many sheep did you have?" Wally says, "I'm not sure . . ." Wally continues, "Every time I tried to count them, I feel asleep."
Dilbert sits on an examining table. A man with a stethoscope says, "I'd like to try a treatment which may seem unconventional." The man waves his arms and shouts, "Oh hear me, Omdahr, Demon of Gaath, heal this man's arm!!" Dilbert asks, "Has that ever worked?" The man replies, "Beats me. I've never tried it before." A demon's hand reaches toward the man's head.
Dilbert stands in a hole and says to Dogbert, "I'll admit, I should have asked more questions before booking our vacation to Clyde Canyon." Dilbert continues, "But it's not as if we're just throwing our vacation money into a . . . a . . ." Dogbert says, "Hole in the ground?" Dilbert responds, "Exactly."
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dilbert says, "I sold my anti-gravity patent to a company who wants to bring the benefits to the world." A television commercial shows an old woman with sagging breasts in the "before" picture and the same woman with upturned breasts in the "after" picture. The announcer asks, "Tired of sagging skin?" The announcer continues, "Get the patented 'Dilbert Anti-Gravity Beauty Formula!'" Dogbert watches the tv advertisement and says, "You must be so proud."
A police officer stands in Dilbert's door and says, "I have a report that you stayed up late playing with your computer . . ." The officer continues, "Instead of going to sleep like you're supposed to." Dilbert responds, "I wasn't tired." Dilbert stands with his arms and legs spread. The officer frisks Dilbert and says, "He was resisting a rest."
Andy: Androids want to be like humans. Tell me what humans do. Dilbert: Mostly, they eat, sleep, and hope they don't die. Andy: That's it? Dilbert: Unless they find religion... Then they eat, sleep, and look forward to dying.
Dilbert watches Dogbert sleeping on the hassock. He thinks, "Why do dogs twitch their feet when they sleep?" Dilbert thinks, "It's so cute. They must be dreaming about chasing cars." In Dogbert's dream, he stands on a throne and says, "Ha ha! I am Saint Dogbert! Line up to kiss my feet, you knaves!" Saint Dogbert asks Dilbert, "What's on my schedule today, lackey?" Dilbert looks at the schedule and says, "You'll be pushing whiney, ugly people into mud at nine." Dilbert continues, "Then, you'll tease cats about their grooming methods until ten." Dogbert says, "Good, good." Dilbert says, "Then you'll raise taxes, go to lunch, and take the rest of the day off." Dogbert wakes up and thinks, "Reality: what a gyp."