Carpet Fishing Comic Strips - Page 4

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36 Results for Carpet Fishing

View 31 - 36 results for carpet fishing comic strips. Discover the best "Carpet Fishing" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #avoid work, #lazy, #love, #crazy, #insane, #stalking, #old carpet, #married, #wide eyes, #relationships

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Carol says, "Wally, you helped me avoid work, and now I can't help loving you." Carol says, "I show my love by a combination of insanity and stalking." Wally says, "Aren't you married?" Carol says, "You owe me an old carpet."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #favor, #ask, #phone ring, #children, #bogeyman, #mailman, #angry, #Family

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Dilbert says, "Carol, would you?" Carol says, "Here's an interesting experiment?" Carol says, "Watch what happens to your blood pressure when I take this call and make you wait." Carol says, "Yeah? What's the problem now?" Carol says, "Tell your brother I said to stop biting the ehads off your dolls." Carol says, "Uh-huh... well, if the man was wearing a postal uniform, he wasn't the bogeyman." Carol says, "You did what to him?" Carol says, "Listen carefully. I want you to tear up the carpet in the fancy bathroom..." Dilbert says, "I can come back."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #therapist, #therapy, #couch, #complaining, #turn tables, #shrink, #session, #husband, #pad.pen, #fishing for compliments, #relationships, #psychology

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Dilbert: People always try to take advantage of me. Therapist: I know what you mean. I lost five pounds and my husband didn't notice! I came home last night and he hadn't even cleaned the garage like he promised. I had to park on the street! Dilbert: Is it my imagination, or have you found a clever way to make people pay to listen to you complain? Therapist: Tell me more about how you think Im clever.

Tube Clothing Or Rug

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Tube Clothing Or Rug - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #clothes, #clothing, #insult, #nerd, #nerds, #style, #tube clothes, #invented style, #reduce decisions, #carpet, #wrapped

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Dilbert: Tube clothes! I invented that style! Did it reduce the number of decisions you need to make every day? Man: I'm just a guy wrapped in a carpet. Dilbert: Oh, I thought you were like me. Man: I don't have to take these insults.

Asok Remembers Being An Uber Driver

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Asok Remembers Being An Uber Driver - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vomit, #sick, #taxi, #driver, #carpet, #smell, #nausea, #throwing up, #medical

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Dilbert: When you were an Uber driver, did any passengers ever get sick in your car? Asok: They all did. The first few had motion sickness, but the last hundred lost it when they smelled the carpet.

Word Salad

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Word Salad   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #argument, #implications, #long term, #ramifications, #strategic, #priorities, #word salad, #trigger, #cognitive, #dissonance, #business, #face mask

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boss: you think you made a good argument, but... you are failing to consider the overall implications of the long-term ramifications with regard to strategic priorities. dilbert: that big bowl of word salad suggests i triggered you into cognitive dissonance. boss: tuna carpet!