Cause Fatique Comic Strips - Page 4

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77 Results for Cause Fatique

View 31 - 40 results for cause fatique comic strips. Discover the best "Cause Fatique" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deadly safety flaw, #stock plunge, #massive layoffs, #ruined career, #dead customers, #hardest

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Asok: "Wally, I discovered a deadly safety flaw in our product. Who should I inform?" Wally: "No one. The stock would plunge and we'd have massive layoffs. Your career would be ruined." Asok: "But my negligence could cause the deaths of a dozen customers." Wally: "The first dozen is always the hardest."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #risk, #pr plan, #karma, #extra fee, #infinite fabric, #britney spear, #hairstly, #back hair

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"Dogbert does PR." "There's some risk that the PR plan will cause you bad kharma." "Ooh." "For an extra fee, I can do some PR work aimed at the infinite fabric of the universe to innoculate you." "And I think I can get Britney Spears to wear your hairstyle." "Can you get her to grow her hair on her back, too?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tech support, #another company, #determine cause

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"This is Dogbert's tech support. Your problem is caused by another company's product or services." "Shouldnt I tell you my problem before you determine the cause?" "Okay, let's pretend that will change my answer."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #other people, #problems, #discomfort, #effect on oether, #oblivious

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Dilbert: I've noticed that all my problems are caused by other people. Dilbert: Ive noticed that all of my problems are caused by other people. Yet ut seen sos unlikely that other people would cause me so much discomfort while i never bother anyone. Is it possible that Im oblivious to my effect on others? dogcart: ZZZZZ

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business trip, #success, #civil war, #plunged, #society, #darkenes, #loot anything

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Wally: "My business trip to Elbonia was a success." "If anyone tells you that I cause a civil war that plunged their society into darkness, it's a lie." The Boss: "Did you loot me anything?" wally: "I didn't know your size."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hammerhead bob, #start butting into private lives, #sense annoyance

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"Great. The only seat is next to Hammerhead Bob." "I'm learning ESP so I can start butting into people's private thoughts." "I sense annoyance, yet there seems to be no cause."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Our CEO only has five minutes. Is that enough time for your PowerPoint presentation? "No. An incomplete explanation of the situation will cause massively harmful strategic choices." "What can we get for four-and-a-half minutes?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vendor, #wait to buy, #new model, #sales, #negotiate, #business

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Dilbert: When do you expect to come out with a new model? Vendor: In about two months. Dilbert: I'll wait and buy the new model. Vendor: Did I say two months? I meant never. Dilbert: Never? That must mean your company is going out of business and won't support this product. Vendor: What's a length of time between two months and never that would cause you to buy now?" Dilbert: One year. Vendor: Our new model comes out in a year. Dilbert: I'll wait until then. Vendor: You're the worst customer ever."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #suggestions, #marble sized brain, #twice as smooth, #root cause, #mating for generations

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"What didn't you use any of my suggestions?" Dilbert: "My thoery is that your brain is the size of a marble, and twice as smooth." "The root cause probably involves slow learners mating for many generations."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #favor, #comments, #article, #go away, #wait util tomorrow, #hope, #worthless, #extra work, #worsen results, #ignoring needs

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Tina: "Wally, can I get your comments on my article by tomorrow?" Wally: "Sure." Tina: "You say, 'sure,' but we both know it's a lie." "You just want me to go away." "You plan to wait until tomorrow and make an excuse." "Then you'll hope I'll give up." Wally: "Yes, but remember, my comments are always worthless, they would cause you extra work and worsen the result." "So if I give you nothing. Everyone wins." Tina: "In that case, thank you for ignoring my needs." Wally: "It's the least I could do."