Confused Comic Strips - Page 4

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79 Results for Confused

View 31 - 40 results for confused comic strips. Discover the best "Confused" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business plan, confused, deception

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The boss says, "your PowerPoint slides impressed the executives so much that they're changing our entire strategy." Dilbert says, "Those slides were nothing but a bunch of garbage dressed up to look good." The boss says, "And that's what our new product line will be!" Dilbert says, "Oh."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dating, flirting, yelling, scared, confused, relationships

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Dilbert says, "I have an actual job and I don't live at home." Dilbert says, "My offspring would probably be smart." Woman says, "My palms are getting sweaty and my heart is pounding. What is going on?" Dilbert says, "It's a Darwinian thing." Woman says, "Make it stop!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dating, flirting, dinner, afraid, confused, yelling, relationships

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Woman says, "You're not my type. Why am I attracted to you? How did you do this, you monster!" Dilbert says, "In troubling economic times, my financial stability appeals to your survival instincts. It's basic evolution." Woman says, "Gaaa!!! That made me bored and aroused at the same time!" Dilbert says, "Science!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags coffee, confused, battery, stealing, electricity, revenge

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Dilbert says, "What's on your back?" Wally says, "It's a battery." Wally says, "I recharge it at work with company electricity, then I use it at night to power my home appliances." Wally says, "If they cut my benefits one more time, I'll make a play for their water too."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags proposition, marriage, ridiculous, confused, reading, explanation, relationships

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Alice says, "I crunched the numbers, and it makes sense for us to get married." Alice says, "I can maintain my lifestyle if you live in the closet and your only hobby is cleaning my house when I'm gone." Alice says, "If that doesn't work, I can insure the bejeezus out of you and hope for the best." Dilbert says, "The best?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, late, confused, yelling, stupidity, excuses, uncooperative, business

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Dilbert says, "Sorry I'm late. A truck turned over on the highway. What did I miss?" Man says, "We don't want to rehash the entire meeting." Dilbert says, "How about a quick summary?" Man says, "No, if we leave out any details, you'll think we made the wrong decision." Man says, "It's best for us if we keep you ignorant and angry." Dilbert says, "IF you marginalize me, I will become a nemesis to your project!" Man says, "I'm cool with that." Man says, "Sort of like a mascot?" Dilbert says, "A nemesis is not like a mascot!" Man says, "Maybe you could wear a giant squirrel costume."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags raise, bribery, agreement, money, clothes, confused, crime

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Catbert: Evil director of human resources Wally says, "According to the news, everyone in power is corrupt." Catbert says, "So?" Wally says, "If you give me a 20% raise, I'll kick back half to you." Catbert says, "Done." Dilbert says, "How did you afford a new vest in this economy? Crime?" Wally says, "I'm dabbling."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags crime, asking, confused, ridicule, worthless, drinking, coffee

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Wally says, "I've decided to dabble in crime. I nees some henchmen. Are you in?" Asok says, "What does a henchman do?" Wally says, "A henchman's job is to be gunned down in reverse order to his importance." Asok says, "How important am I?" Wally says, "I wouldn't pack lunch for orientation day."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags walking, talking, confused, analyzing, worried, panic, injury, Sports

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The boss says, "I can't understand why?" Dilbert says, "Why did you suddenly stop talking?" Dilbert says, "Oh no?this can't be good." Dilbert says, "Gaaa!!!! Now you're not making eye contact with me!" Dilbert says, "Layoffs are coming! I must be on the list!" Dilbert thinks, "My only hope is to injure myself and go on disability so he can't legally fire me." Dilbert says, "Ow! Ow! Ow!" The Boss says, "Anyway, as I was saying I can't figure out why so many employees are injured."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags auditor, taxes, inspection, confused, corruption

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Dogbert the CEO Man says, "I'm here to do a tax audit of your company." Dogbert says, "How's that work?" Man says, "I look for reasons to transfer money from small, disreputable entities to a larger one." Man says, "I call my salary vigorish, but it's not as ironic as it once was."