Cruelty Comic Strips - Page 4
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62 Results for Cruelty
View 31 - 40 results for cruelty comic strips. Discover the best "Cruelty" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday August 09,
2013
Tags boredom, cruelty, managers & supervisors, expensive, japanese management technique, banishment room, tolerance for boredom, business
Transcript
Boss: Ted, I don't want to fire you because that would be expensive. So I'm borrowing a Japanese management technique and transferring you to a banishment room until you get so bored you quit. Ted: Looks like someone underestimated my tolerance for boredom.
Friday August 16,
2013
Tags cruelty, grades, managers & supervisors, small animal snuff film, sociopath module, punch a squirrel, extra credit, coffee pot, business
Transcript
Dilbert: I heard you got booted off the management fast track. Wally: Yeah. I fell asleep during the small animal snuff film and failed the sociopath module. Dilbert: That seems harsh. Wally: I offered to punch a squirrel, but they don't allow extra credit.
Tuesday August 20,
2013
Tags cruelty, honesty, managers & supervisors, motivation, insincere, bar too high, low motivation, business
Transcript
Dilbert: My motivation is low today. I understand it's your job to fix that situation. An insincere attaboy or a fake interest in my life would be enough. Boss: Drop dead and let the flies eat you. Dilbert: I set the bar too high again.
Wednesday September 25,
2013
Tags cruelty, executives, mental health, psychopaths, grandiose sense, self worth, kill for asking
Transcript
Executive Coaching Dogbert; Research shows that CEOs are more likely to be psychopaths. Obviously, being a psychopath works. Don't let anyone tell you different. How's your grandiose sense of self-worth? CEO: It's the best. I should kill you for asking.
Thursday October 24,
2013
Tags cruelty, inventions, joking, meat bags, robot, capability, humor, learn humor
Transcript
Robot: Hey, meat-bags! I'm here to take your jobs! Ha ha! Not really. I won't have that capability for two or three years. Dilbert: When did you learn humor? Robot: Humor? I was going for cruelty.
Monday October 28,
2013
Tags cruelty, managers & supervisors, work ethic, employees work harder, caring managers, sausage casing, business
Transcript
Boss: According to studies, employees will work harder if they think their managers care about them. But that's hard for me because you're basically a sausage casing full of coffee and rotting organs. Dilbert: That must have stung. Wally: Less than you'd think.
Monday November 11,
2013
Tags biometric sensor, cruelty, electric shock, inventions, prototype, tasered, test animals, humans
Transcript
Dilbert: I added a biometric sensor to our smartphone prototype. ZZEEEP It uses x-rays. Boss: Maybe you should have tested it on animals first. Dilbert: Do I look like an animal hater?
Monday November 18,
2013
Tags cruelty, negotiating, flexible, loser, good sport, good loser
Transcript
Alice: Thanks for being flexible in these negotiations. You're a good sport. And by good sport, I mean good loser. ANd by good loser, I mean loser. Man: Some people call it generous.
Saturday November 30,
2013
Tags complaining, cruelty, thinking, thought diversity, meeting, fad, business
Transcript
Boss: I'm looking for thought diversity in my hiring. That's a thing now. Alice: Really? That's a dumb thing. All you end up with is a bunch of people who can't agree. How do you like thought diversity now? Dilbert: That fad didn't last long.
Tuesday December 17,
2013
Tags cruelty, writing, incompressible note, flermmed th eplootash, communication, boss, emplyee
Transcript
Dilbert: I got the incomprehensible not you left on my desk. I wanted to let you know that I "flermmed the plootash" just as you asked. Boss: What makes you this way? Dilbert: Maybe my DNA is flermmed

