Die Die Die Comic Strips - Page 4

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136 Results for Die Die Die

View 31 - 40 results for die die die comic strips. Discover the best "Die Die Die" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 26, 1998's comic on:


Tags #dogbert curse, #sends chain letter, #die if didnt, #worlds smartest garbageman, #send chain letters

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Dilbert has been struck by the Curse of Dogbert. He has Dogbert's ears and nose. Dilbert says to the garbage man, "...And the Dogbert Curse strikes anyone who sends a chain letter. But the letter said I'd die if I didn't." Dilbert continues, "You're the world's smartest garbage man. How would you handle this?" The garbage man shoves a bag of trash into the garbage truck. Dilbert walks up to Dogbert dressed as a garbage man, but still looking like Dogbert. He says, "Did you know there's also a Garbage Man's Curse for people who send chain letters?" Swami Dogbert wears his turban and wags his tail.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 28, 1998's comic on:


Tags #boss hires dennis, #indispensable, #sadistic nut, #job unbearable, #die in own vomit!

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The Boss is talking to Alice and Dilbert. He tells them, "Every work group has one sadistic nut who makes the job unbearable for everyone else." The Boss continues, "That's why I hired Dennis." The Boss points to an angry, violent looking man with dark hair. The Boss says, "He already seems indispensible." Dennis screams, "You'll all die in your own vomit!" Alice is appauled.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 27, 1999's comic on:


Tags #most experiences, #die, #do nothing, #experience nothing, #immortality, #over rated, #rat, #coffee can

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Ratbert says, to Bob the dinosaur, "Bob, have you ever noticed that the people with the most experience are the ones who die?" Bob says, "No." Ratbert says, "My plan is to spend the rest of my life in an old coffee can, experiencing nothing. Hence, immortality." Dilber says, to Ratber who sits in a coffee can, "How was your first week of immortality?" Ratbert says, "So far, it's overrated."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 04, 1999's comic on:


Tags #immense ego, #seems normal, #decided, #doctor, #determine lives, #dies, #die from ulcer, #enjoy challenge, #medical

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Dogbert dressed in a crown and sceptar stands by Dilbert's computer. Dogbert says, "I need a job where my immense ego seems normal." Dogbert says, "I've decided to be a doctor. I will determine who lives and who dies!" Dogbert is in a doctor's office. He still wears the crown and has a stethoscope around his neck. A man in boxer shorts says, "What? I can't die from an ulcer!" Dogbert says, "Maybe not, but I enjoy the challenge."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 10, 1999's comic on:


Tags #ease of use, #lab, #budget for staff, #two sided, #photocopies, #live by sword, #die by sword

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The boss, wally and Asok sit at the conference table with papers in front of them. The boss says, "I downsised the "ease of use" lab because there's no budget for a staff." Asok grabs one of the paper and shows it the the boss. ASok says, "They HAVE a buget. I put it on the back of these two-sided photocopies!" The boss says, "Well, they lived by the sword, and they died by the sword."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 28, 1999's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #evil director, #hr dept., #views of management, #exceeds expectations, #renamed, #drool, #loser, #die die die, #category changes, #performance review

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CATBERT: EVIl Director of Human Resources Catbert is walking through the office carrying a paper thinking, "I love my job." He walks into Wally's cubicle and says, "Hello, hapless employee." He continues, "I've renamed the four levels of employee performance..." "...To accurately reflect the views of management." Catbert reading from his paper, "The category of "exceeds expectations" is renamed to..." "..."At least he or she doesn't drool on himself or herself."..." He continues, "..."Meets expectations will be called "loser". "Does not meet expectations" will now be called "Die! Die! Die!"..." Catbert is walking off thinking, "I could send it out by e-mail but I enjoy seeing the looks on their faces."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 05, 1999's comic on:


Tags #carol got mba, #hard wirk, #rewarded, #pompous baboon, #sensitive way, #secretarial stigma, #wet caroets, #coffee, #fetch me one

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The boss and Carol are standing in front of Alice, Wally and Dilbert. The boss says, while pointing to Carol: "Congratulations to my secretary Carol for getting her MBA" The boss says to Carol: "At this company we believe hard work should be rewarded." The boss says to Carol: "The next time you fetch my coffee, get some coffee for yourself too!" Carol says to the boss: "You should be promoting me, you pompous baboon!" The boss says to Carol: "How can I explain this in the most sensitive way?" The boss says: "The secretarial stigma will cover you like a mountain of wet carpets until the day you die." The boss says to Carol, who looks furious: "I'm glad we had this talk. I think it helped." Alice and Wally are walking behind the boss and Alice says:"The next time you ask for coffee. We'd like to watch."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 27, 2000's comic on:


Tags #18 hour days, #industry, #competitors die trying, #match

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "You've got to work eighteen hours a day to compete in this industry!" Dilbert cunningly says, "Let's just say we work eighteen hours a day. Maybe our competitors will die trying to match us." The Boss asks Dilbert, "Would that work?" Dilbert answers, "It almost worked for us."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 12, 2000's comic on:


Tags #emergency flashlight, #plays flashilights, #jedi, #starwars, #immature

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The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "I hid the emergency flashights so no one can play with them." Wally replies, "Who plays with flashlight? That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard." As Wally and Dilbert leaves, the Boss thinks to himself "The short Jedi will die first."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 17, 2000's comic on:


Tags #halluciantaing, #Dilbert, #punish, #ambiguous, #untraceable, #die dilbert

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The boss is sitting at his desk thinking, "Did Dilbert do something terrible or am I hallucinating?" The boss continues to think, "I'd better play it safe and punish him in ways that are ambiguous and untraceable." A woman stands behind Dilbert and says, "I had to change your network password to 'Die-Dilbert-Die' and I can't say why."