Enhance Reality Comic Strips - Page 4

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91 Results for Enhance Reality

View 31 - 40 results for enhance reality comic strips. Discover the best "Enhance Reality" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 25, 2002's comic on:


Tags #michael t. suit, #core competencies, #platforms, #did we shake?

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A headless, handless man says to Dilbert, "Hi. My name is Michael T. Suit. All my friends call me M.T." M.T. continues, "I enhance core competencies by leveraging platforms." Dilbert is gone. M.T. continues, "Did we shake yet? Sometimes I can't tell."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 24, 2002's comic on:


Tags #new reality, #leave reality, #don't like leave

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The Boss addresses a meeting, "It's a new reality. If you don't like it, you can leave!" Dilbert raises his hand and asks, "Question: How can we leave reality? Aren't we always in it by definition?" Dilbert looks around and sees that everyone around him is asleep. He says, "Never mind.. apparently everyone else knew what you meant."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 27, 2003's comic on:


Tags #surplussed ted, #absorb function, #2 jobs one salary, #absorb his funtion, #osmosis, #symbiosis, #syneregy, #key learning, #tragic series, #monkey brained

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"I surplussed Ted. You'll need to absorb his function." "Absorb his function?" "Are you telling me to do two jobs for one salary?" "No, I'm telling you to absorb his function.. in an absorptive fashion." "..Using osmosis, symbiosis, and synergy." "Can you change reality by inventing new names for ordinary things?" "I sure hope so. Otherwise my entire career has been a.. a.." "Tragic series of monkey-brained mistakes?" "Key learning."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 11, 2004's comic on:


Tags #non credible guy, #invented reality tv, #preposterous stories, #picture hostility & curiosity, #einstein, #entertain realtives, #new theory, #liar, #pathological liar, #lies

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The non-credible guy "And that's how I invented 'reality tv.'" "Why don't you keep telling me preposterous stories while I stare at you with a mixture of hostility and curiosity?" "And then Einstein asked me to entertain his relatives while he thought of a name for his new theory." "Good, good."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 16, 2004's comic on:


Tags #celebrity business plan, #commit crime, #hire lawyer, #reality tv show, #gain weight, #tabloids, #spokesperson, #weight loss product, #write children book, #rehab, #addicted to painkillers, #plan, #future plans, #goals, #sensationalism

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Dogbert: "Would you review my celebrity business plan?" Dilbert: "Sure." Dogbert: "First, I'll commit a sensational crime that the media can't ignore." "Then I'll hire celebrity lawyer, Johnny 'Red' Galipigos to help me beat the rap." "I'll use my fame to land a part on a reality tv show where I will win by cheating." "Then I'll gain a massive amount of the weight so the tabloids will fixate on me." "Burp" "Then I'll become a spokesperson for a weight loss product." "It works!" "Lastly, I'll write children's books." Dilbert: "What about rehab?" "Good catch. I totally forgot the part where I get addicted to pain killers." Dilbert: "Otherwise it looks good."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 2006's comic on:


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"Dilbert, meet your new coworker, Phil O'Dendron." "Phil is a potted plant. He'll sit in your cubicle all day while you try to work." "Does it talk?" "He has three stories that he repeats in an infinite loop." "He'll begin with his reasons for why you should use his tax guy." "Then he'll do a recap of recent reality TV shows." "And last but not least, 'The way we did it at my last job.'" sob "How do you plan to cut expenses?" "Well, performance bonuses are under control."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 22, 2006's comic on:


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What happens if I add the lies from marketing to my boss's assumptions...then factor in some reality? KABOOM! "Stupid reality."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 22, 2007's comic on:


Tags #enhance strategy, #next adjacency, #no way to verify

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The Boss: "What have you done lately to enhance our strategy into the next adjacency?" Dilbert: "I don't know what that means, so I'm going to say 'everything.'" The Boss: "He's lucky there's no way to verify that claim."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 08, 2008's comic on:


Tags #really show, #camera, #capture failures, #humiliations, #dull act of insignificance, #fill void, #fathering children, #being famous

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Dogbert says, "I decided to produce a reality show about your life." Dilbert says, "What?" Dogbert says, "The cameras will follow you around and capture all of your failures and humiliations." Dilbert says, "Why would I agree to that?" Dogbert says, "Because you suffer from the dull ache of insignificance." Dogbert says, "You can only fill the horrible void in your soul by fathering children or being famous." Dilbert says, "Maybe I prefer to have children." Dogbert says, "And maybe you prefer to flap your ears and fly to Mars." Dogbert says, "Do you see where I'm going with this?" BOP A cameraman says, "Sorry."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 29, 2008's comic on:


Tags #loser, #achieves nothing, #reality, #winner, #realistic goals, #genous, #have a pulse

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Wally says, "Some people see me as a loser who achieves nothing." Wally says, "In reality I am a winner who knows how to set realistic goals." Dilbert says, "So you're sort of a genius." Wally says, "And yet my only goal was to have a pulse."