Frozen Budget Comic Strips - Page 4

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312 Results for Frozen Budget

View 31 - 40 results for frozen budget comic strips. Discover the best "Frozen Budget" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 03, 1994's comic on:


Tags #transferred, #marketing, #slaps employee, #groggy, #disoriented, #fit in better, #business

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The Boss: Im sorry Dave, But your being transferred to marketing and theres no budget to train you as a marketer. Slap! Dave: where am I? I need a drink. The Boss: This is a temporary fix...but you'll fit in now.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 08, 1994's comic on:


Tags #shot from cannon, #building, #crash window, #lands on desk, #Dilbert, #travel budget cuts, #primitive, #begs for busfare

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Boom! CRASH! I hear your company is trimming travel budgets. Dilbert: Can anyone lend me bus fare to get home?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 1994's comic on:


Tags #eliminated budget, #getting dumber, #brain shrivel, #hair different

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Dilbert: You've completely eliminated the budget for technical training! Im getting dumber every minute, My brain is starting to shrivel like a raisin! The Boss: Get out of my office. Dilbert: even my hair feels different.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 26, 1994's comic on:


Tags #cut budget, #spinning, #flung, #space, #locusts, #fling locusts

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Tina: "According to you, if I cut your budget the world will abruptly stop spinning and we'll be flung into space." Tina: "Whereas, the risk of cutting Dilbert's project is '...a plage of locusts o'er the land.'" "I'll cut both projects. With any luck, we'll fling the locusts into space." Wally: "Locusts. Real good."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 08, 1994's comic on:


Tags #budget analyst, #budget cuts, #intelligent choices, #understand enginering, #strategy

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The Boss: Susan, I want you to make some budget cuts throughout my department. Susan: But Im only the budget analyst. I couldn't understand all the engineering projects enough to make intelligent choices. The Boss: Really? Great! I thought it was just me! Susan: Shall I whomp up a strategy while Im at it?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 19, 1994's comic on:


Tags #bad news, #break gradually, #budget worked on, #build up, #effort, #reorganizing dept., #worthless, #you're fired

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The Boss: Susan, Im reorganizing the department again. The budget you worked on for months its now worthless. Susan: I think when you have bad news you should make an effort to break it gradually, maybe build yup to it. The Boss: Oh, that reminds me: You're fired.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 08, 1994's comic on:


Tags #bob, #budget analyst, #delegate, #dinosaur, #engineers, #find dumber customers, #letter, #marketing genius, #new vp, #senior mangement, #wedgies

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Bob the dinosaur; gives wedgies to corporate people who deserve it. Budget analyst I don't understand any of our projects, I cut the ones with "E" In their names. BOB: What was that letter? analysts: EEEE! Engineers Wally: we doubled our costs, to add back up systems. Dilbert: You ant be too careful. Bob: two at once. In case one enjoys it. Wally: MMMM Marketing genius Market segmentation is the key. Dont improve the product just find dumber customers! Senior management BOB: These guys know how to delegate! You're the new VP of wedgies.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 10, 1994's comic on:


Tags #share accomplishements, #meeting, #share, #tiger team, #lock up session, #meeting cancelled, #nothing tangible, #busy work, #business

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The Boss: Let's each share our accomplishments for the month. Dilbert: To the untrained observer it might seem like I didn't accomplish anything. However, I did strategically "position" my project by socializing it within the company. Dilbert: Then Wally and I help a "tiger team" lock up session. Then I prepared the executive briefing package for the big meeting that got cancelled. Since then Ive spent most if my time looking for the best project management software to use. And I did it all within ten percent of my budget goal, Dilbert: Looking good. Wally: wow all I did was that tiger thing.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 16, 1994's comic on:


Tags #combines two projects, #not the same, #boss doesn't undertsnd, #too late, #logical solition, #eliminate your project, #resourceful idiot

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The Boss: "I just had my annual meeting with our Vice President." "We decided to combine your project with Project 'Bigfoot' because they're basically the same." Dilbert: "They're not the same! It only seems like it to you because you don't understand either project!" "Oh, well. It's too late to do anything. I told him they were the same." Dilbert: "Just call him and say you were wrong." The Boss: "I can see why you're not in management." "The logical solution is to wait for the next budget cut and eliminate your project, thus solving two problems." Dilbert: "There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 06, 1994's comic on:


Tags #project approved, #budget giveaway, #doomed, #hyped up, #marketing dept, #snatched porject, #reverse psychology

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The Boss stands at Dilbert's desk and says, "I got your project approved by our president!" The Boss continues, "But he gave your budget to another project." The Boss continues, "It's pretty much doomed from the get-go." The Boss continues, "But I hyped it up at the executive meeting so somebody else will try to take it over." A woman pushes them aside and says, "Step aside, fools! This project belongs to marketing now!" As the woman walks away, the Boss says, "Oh, please don't take our project." Dilbert and the Boss slap hands. Dilbert says, "Yes!" Dilbert asks, "Do you ever worry that you're finding joy in the wrong places?" The Boss replies, "Nope."