Hat Size Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

132 Results for Hat Size

View 31 - 40 results for hat size comic strips. Discover the best "Hat Size" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 10, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair reading a book and Dogbert stands on the hassock holding a plate. Dogbert says, "You already own the 'Acorn Series' of Dogbert's Commemorative Plates . . ." Dogbert continues, "For a limited time you may also purchase my new issue: the 'French Guy With a Hat' series." Dogbert has drawn a face on the acorn. Dilbert says, "My acorn plates are missing." Dogbert sits on his pillow thinking, "Tomorrow I'll introduce my new series: 'Russian With French Hat.'"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 17, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #the boss, #business consulting, #pyschic

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits across from the Boss's desk wearing a sorcerer's hat. Dogbert says, "I am Dogbert the Psychic Business Consultant. I can read minds." The Boss asks, "If you can read minds, what's my favorite color?" Dogbert replies, "Your favorite color is puce, but you are mistakenly thinking of a primary color because you don't know what puce is." The Boss says, "Whoa . . . I just got a shiver."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 18, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dogbert, #job security

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dogbert, who is wearing a sorcerer's hat, "I want you to read my boss's mind and tell me what he wants my group to work on." Dogbert asks, "Why don't you just ask him?" The Boss replies, "Ask him?? I can't do that. His calendar is booked for months. And I never understand what he says anyway." Dogbert says, "He thinks you're an idiot, but it's easier to pay you than to fire you." The Boss whistles and says, "Whew! Job security."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 19, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #the boss, #job security, #psychic

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert, who is wearing a sorcerer's hat, tells the Boss, "I'll use my powers to read the minds of your employees and get ideas for improving morale." Dogbert says, "Hmm . . . All they care about is romance, ski trips and 'Star Trek.'" The Boss asks, "How about if we give the high performers little key chains with the company logo?" Dogbert says, "I'm getting a blank from this direction."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 27, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #elbonia, #elbonian men, #presentation, #quality management

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert points to a visual aid and says, "The fishbone diagram helps identify the root cause of problems." Dilbert continues as three Elbonians listen, "In your case, the root problem seems to be that you're a nation of imbeciles . . ." An Elbonian says, "True, but YOU'RE the one who had to draw a dead fish to figure it out." Another man says, "You're in the club! Here's your hat."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 25, 1994's comic on:


Tags #making copies, #spits out, #commands in, #copier paper, #photocopy, #paper flys, #crinkle

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Dilbert: Quantity...two sided ...reduced to 98%...collated ...with staple ....portrait ...two colors...darken legal size papaer. Think! crinkle! spit! woman: If you eat a photocopy set "This Crinkle and poet" to no. Dilbert: it makes copies too??

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 12, 1994's comic on:


Tags #animal eating rat, #feel lucky, #hat on head, #optimist

View Transcript

Transcript

"Ratbert the Optimist" "I feel lucky today." "Lucky, lucky, lucky" "I think a hat just blew onto my head!!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 08, 1994's comic on:


Tags #donate blood, #good for society, #too comepetetive, #thirsty

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally and a man stand in line at the blood drive. The man says, "I don't mind donating blood . . . It's good for society . . ." The man continues, "But I'm worried that our company is getting too competitive about how much we give compared to other companies." Dilbert leaves the blood drive saying, "Man, I'm thirsty!!" His head and body have shrunk to half their normal size.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 1995's comic on:


Tags #old rating system, #friendlier method, #animal, #similar traits, #tyrannosaurus rex, #mightiest dinosaur, #brain size

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss sits at his desk and Alice sits across from him. The Boss says, "I've replaced the old rating system with a friendlier method. Now I compare each of you to an animal with similar traits." The Boss pushes a document toward Alice and says, "I rated you 'Tyrannosaurus Rex.'" Alice looks excited and says, "T. Rex - the mightiest dinosaur!!" The Boss says, "Think in terms of brain size."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 26, 1995's comic on:


Tags #chocolate cake, #engineer, #railroad, #big corproation, #fix typrwriters, #debugged tcp, #driver aplication, #isdn bonding, #cuts down to size, #dilmom, #cake to packing foam, #insulted cake, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit on a couch. Dilbert's mom hands him a plate and says, "Here's some nice chocolate cake for you and Dogbert." Dilbert says, "Thank, Mom." Dogbert also says, "Thanks, Mom." Dilbert's mother says, "Tell me all about your job at the railroad." Dilbert replies, "It's not a railroad. I'm an engineer at a big corporation." Dilbert's mom asks, "Do you fix the typewriters when they break?" Dilbert replies, "No . . . Today I debugged a TCP/IP driver for an application that runs over ISDN with bonding." Dilbert's mom asks, "You mean, all you do is slap a BRI analyzer on a circuit and look for bad packets?" Dilbert says, "Well . . . Yeah. But it's really hard." Dilbert and Dogbert walk outdoors. Dilbert says, "I was doing okay until she offered to pay my tuition to typewriter repair school." Dogbert says, "You shouldn't have compared her cake to packing foam."