Help Balancing Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

423 Results for Help Balancing

View 31 - 40 results for help balancing comic strips. Discover the best "Help Balancing" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #experiments, #rationalize, #quality, #life, #skunkopotamus, #Dogbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at the table working with test tubes and lab equipment. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Sometimes I wonder if it's ethical to do these genetic experiments." Dilbert continues, "But I rationalize it because it will help improve the quality of life." Dogbert asks, "What are you making?" Dilbert replies, "Skunkopotamus."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #Dogbert, #consultant, #suffering, #pain, #severance pay

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "I need an outside consultant like you to help with layoffs." The Boss continues, "My main concern is to minimize the pain and hardship that goes with this." Dogbert asks, "With generous severance pay?" The Boss replies, "No, I think that would only make my pain and suffering worse."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #video, #phone, #dating, #unattractive, #prospects, #camera, #system, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the desk watching the video phone. Dilbert says, "This video phone will be a big help for dating." Dilbert continues, "This way I can weed out the unattractive prospects in seconds." Dogbert asks, "Isn't there a camera on your end too?" Dilbert replies, "No system is perfect."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #airlines, #lucky, #payment, #luggage, #crashed, #mountain, #lost, #Peanuts, #hot, #wax, #tarmac

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in his house talking on the telephone. His clothes are disheveled. Dilbert says into the phone, "Lucky Airlines? I demand payment for the luggage I lost when we crashed into the mountain." Dilbert says, "No, technically it's not 'lost.' . . . Well, yes, I did eat your complimentary peanuts . . ." Dilbert hands the phone to Dogbert and says, "Help me out here . . . So far, I've agreed to hot-wax their tarmac."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #rich people, #wealth, #tragedy, #lightning, #flash, #clear day, #meteor

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert walk outdoors. Dilbert says, "I can't help thinking that my new wealth will lead to tragedy." Dilbert continues, "It seems like rich people always have horrible tragedies." Dogbert asks, "Like what?" There is a flash of lightning. Dilbert's clothes have been burned and his body is charred. Dilbert replies, ". . . Like being struck by lightning on a clear day." Dogbert points to the sky and shouts, "Incoming meteor!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #sarcasm, #Dilbert, #warrior, #battle, #memos, #meetings, #image, #eternity, #life, #pathetic, #help

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of the dresser mirror tying his necktie and Dogbert sits on the bed. Dogbert says, "The mighty warrior prepares for battle . . ." Dogbert continues, "Today, bold memos will be written, dangerous meetings will be attended, and many a photocopied image will be captured for eternity." Dilbert says, "If it weren't for sarcasm, my life would sound pathetic." Dogbert replies, "Glad to help."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #bills', #big, #egg-shaped, #men's fashion, #clothes, #statement, #sweater, #brown

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert walks into "Bill's Big 'N' Egg-Shaped Men's Fashions." A sign in the window says, "Specializing in the ovoid man." Dilbert says to the salesclerk, "I want to some clothes that make a statement." The clerk responds, "All our clothes make a statement." The salesperson hands Dilbert a sweater and says, "This sweater says 'Help me, help me, I look like a big egg!'" Dilbert asks, "Does it come in brown?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #orders, #camp, #girl, #cookies, #daughter, #dozen, #buying, #ted, #money, #character, #earning, #selling, #work

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "I'm taking orders for 'Camp Girl cookies' on behalf of my daughter." Ted asks, "How many dozen can I guilt you into buying?" Dilbert says, "I've always wondered, Ted, why do they sell cookies? Is it just for the money?" Ted replies, "No, it's to help them build character by earning their own money." Dilbert asks, "Oh, so your daughter is doing some selling from door-to-door?" Ted answers, "No, too dangerous. My wife and I are doing all the selling at work." Dilbert says, "Well, then aren't you only teaching your daughter to act helpless so other people will do her work?" Ted says angrily, "Just buy the stupid cookies!!" Dilbert asks, "Have you considered foster care for your kids?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #failed, #driving, #test, #nine, #Dogbert, #school, #specialize, #problem, #application, #form, #special, #pointy

View Transcript

Transcript

A customer sits across from Dogbert's desk. The boy says, "I've failed the driving test nine times. Can you help?" Dogbert replies, "I specialize in the problem cases. Just sign the application form." The boy looks at the pencil and says, "Wait . . . I've seen one of these before. Yes, there's something special about the pointy end . . . But what?" Dogbert thinks, "Uh oh."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #floyd, #help, #co-worker, #hate, #job, #mean, #vital, #information, #control, #secretary

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert kneels in front of Floyd's desk. Floyd yells, "What?! You think I'll help you just because I'm your co-worker?? Ha! I hate co-workers!" Dilbert begs, "All I need is . . ." Floyd yells, "I hate this job! I hate everything! The only thing I like is being mean to co-workers who need the vital information that I control!" Dilbert's underwear has been streched over his head. Another man with a wedgie says, "If you think YOU hate him, you should try being his secretary."