Key Words Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

209 Results for Key Words

View 31 - 40 results for key words comic strips. Discover the best "Key Words" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 16, 1994's comic on:


Tags #project report, #thick binder, #foot rest, #annual performance, #appraisel

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk and says, "Did you see my project report yet? It's in a big thick binder." The Boss replies, "I'm using it as a footrest." Dilbert arrives at home carrying a briefcase and says to Dogbert, "You never want to hear the words 'footrest' the day before your annual performance appraisal."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 12, 1995's comic on:


Tags #draft documentation, #get soon, #lowly tech writer, #big important engineer, #fruit of labor, #validate, #value on planet, #blank pages, #bluffing for months

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina asks Dilbert, "Did you review my draft documentation yet?" Dilbert sits at his desk and replies, "Uh . . . I'll get to it soon." Tina says, "That's what you've been saying since July!!" Tina continues, "I know I'm only a lowly technical writer and you're a big important engineer . . ." Tina screams, "But is it too much to ask for you to glance at the fruits of my labor?!!!" Tina grabs Dilbert's tie and yells, "Five lousy mintues is all it would take to validate my value on this planet! Read it, you fetid pile of compost!!" Dilbert opens a binder and says, "Okay, okay! I'll read it right now!" Dilbert says, "These pages are blank! You've been bluffing for months!" Tina looks nervous. Tina says, "I think I'll go have a yummy compost salad with delicious fetid cheese." Dilbert says, "I'm going to look up those words."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 10, 1995's comic on:


Tags #ergonomic key board, #big q, #porgram, #quality, #tletter q, #whiny customers

View Transcript

Transcript

A co-worker shows Dilbert and Wally a keyboard. The co-worker says, "This ergonomic keyboard is our fist product developed under the 'Big Q' program." The man continues, "The 'Q' stands for quality." Dilbert says, "Speaking of Q . . . it's missing the letter Q." The man says angrily, "You sound just like our whiny customers." Dilbert says, I guess the 'Q' stands for 'uality.'"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 15, 1995's comic on:


Tags #stick to script, #act sincere, #forgive you, #worng, #sell key boards, #morons, #dumber than squirrels, #good writing

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss stands in front of a camera and Dogbert sits in a director's chair. Dogbert hands the Boss a script and says, "Stick to the script. Act sincere and beg your customers to forgive you." The Boss looks into the camera and reads, "It was wrong for us to sell keyboards with no 'Q.' We're sorry. We're morons." Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the couch watching the Boss's television commercial. In the advertisement, the Boss says, "We're dumber than squirrels. We hear voices and do what they command. I have broccoli in my socks." Dilbert says, "Good writing." Dogbert responds, "Thanks."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 19, 1995's comic on:


Tags #hired, #finance, #dept, #cut spending, #studying, #inefficeincy, #boldface, #electricity, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert stands on Dilbert's desk and says, "I've been hired by the finance department to help cut spending." Ratbert continues, "I'll be studying your every move and looking for waste and inefficiency." Looking over Dilbert's shoulder at his monitor, Ratbert says, "Those words in boldface look like they're sucking up the ol' electricity."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 28, 1995's comic on:


Tags #tina, #tech worter, #documentation written, #software done

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Tina who is seated at her computer, "Tina, you'll have to have all the documentation written by next week so we can ship it when the software is done." Tina says angrily, "How can I write instructions for something that doesn't exist yet?" The Boss answers, "You'll have to make logical guesses." Tina types on her computer, "If you press any key your computer will lock up. If you call our tech support we'll blame 'Microsoft.'"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 22, 1995's comic on:


Tags #bent over, #chairs, #key boards, #lower back pain, #management kick ass, #new policy, #on floor, #only explination, #uncomfortable

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert watches as Wally sits in his chair and bends over to reach his keyboard on the floor. Wally says, "This new policy of keeping our keyboards on the floor is ridiculous!" Dilbert says, "The only possible explanation is to make us all stooped over so it's easier for management to kick our behinds! Ha ha ha!" Wally laughs. As the Boss peeks into Wally's cubicle, Dilbert looks shocked and says, "Wait a minute . . . That IS the only explanation." Wally says, "Cover me; I'm going to the printer."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 30, 1995's comic on:


Tags #correction, #ant farm, #milton bradley, #uncle milting industries, #game company, #public clarification, #habitat disgusting creatures, #lawyers

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Correction." Dogbert sits behind a desk saying, "A recent Dilbert strip used the words 'ant farm' to describe a habitat for ants." Dogbert continues, "Lawyers have informed me that 'ant farm' is a trademark of 'Uncle Milton Industries, Inc.' They demand a public clarification." Dilbert asks, "What SHOULD we call a habitat for worthless and disgusting little creatures?" Dogbert replies, "Law school."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 24, 1996's comic on:


Tags #marketing plan, #comments, #obvious generalities, #wishful thinking, #business value, #glamour career

View Transcript

Transcript

An employee from marketing, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The woman says, "And that's the marketing plan. Any comments?" Dilbert says, "It appears to be a bunch of obvious generalities and wishful thinking with no apparent business value." The woman thinks, "Marketing didn't turn out to be the glamour career I expected." Wally shows his copy of the plan to Dilbert and says, "I circled all the words you won't find in any dictionary."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 12, 1996's comic on:


Tags #new vp, #cost containment, #first priority, #reduce expenses, #office supplies, #supply cabinet locked, #butter efficient secreatray, #naive question, #dispirited hollow shells, #product shoddy, #get supplies, #like honesty

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Alice, Dilbert, Asok, Wally and an executive sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I'd like you all to meet our new vice president in charge of cost containment." The VP says, "My first priority is to reduce our spiraling expenses for office supplies." The VP continues, "From now on, your supply cabinet will be locked." The VP continues, "The only key will be under the control of your bitter and inefficient secretary. Questions?" Asok raises his hand and says, "I am only an intern so please excuse this naive question . . ." Asok continues, "I've noticed that the employees are all dispirited hollow shells, management is random and our products are shoddy." Asok asks, "How are you going to solve that by making it hard to get supplies?" The VP looks angry. Asok says to Wally, "I thought you said they like honesty." Wally whispers, "Ask how much he's paid. It shows you care."