Laziness Comic Strips - Page 4

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182 Results for Laziness

View 31 - 40 results for laziness comic strips. Discover the best "Laziness" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, work ethic, well rested people, nap, ignore science, synchronize questions, banana eating

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Wally: Studies show that well-rested people are more productive. Should I go take a nap or should I ignore science like some sort of pointy-haired baboon? I like to synchronize my questions to his banana-eating.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags clear strategy, fixing, ignorance (knowledge), laziness, leader listens, managers & supervisors, overworked, resources, underlings, underpiad, business

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Boss: A good leader listens to his underlings. Alice: Fine. I've overworked and underpaid. I hate my co-workers, I don't have the resources to do my job, and we have no clear strategy. Boss: No wonder leaders listen. It's a lot easier than fixing all of that stuff.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, work ethic, first draft, blah blah blah, worthless

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Wally: Let me know if you have any changes to my first draft. Coworker: This literally says the words "blah, blah, blah." Are you lazy? Wally: No, I'm worthless. Lazy would have been one "blah."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deception, laziness, training class, training expenses, vendor, permission, proactive, alleged class, truts, aggressiveness, uselessness

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Wally: I accomplished nothing this week because I was in a training class. Boss: I didn't approve any training expenses. Wally: A vendor paid for it. Boss: You didn't ask for permission. Wally: I'm proactive and empowered. Boss: And what was the name of this alleged class? Wally: Advanced scripting structure for internetwork optimization of SQL databases. Boss: That doesn't sound real. Wally: I can't do my job if you don't trust me! Do you like how I combined aggressiveness with my baseline level of uselessness? I have a good feeling about this. Dilbert: You might need more aggressiveness.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags competition (psychology), laziness, passive job seeker, rope, sleeping, tied up, coffee cup, chair, bound

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Recruiters Recruiter 1: Hey, is that a passive job seeker? Wally: ZZZZZZ. Recruiter 2: Back off! I saw him first. This rope hols my place until he wakes up. Wally: ZZZZZZ. I will pay you a thousand dollars to drop a long straw in this cup.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, laziness, insuffcemt light, interpret, accomplishments, project team, buzzwords, duplicates, harvesting organs, business

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Boss: Wally, this is my brother, Phil, The Prince of Insufficient Light. I asked him to interpret your accomplishments for this quarter. Phil You have 25 alleged accomplishments. Eight of these accomplishments involved simply being on a project team that did something. Nine accomplishments involved fixing problems you created. Five of these are just buzzwords that don't mean anything. And three are duplicates that you reworded to appear different. I'd recommend harvesting his organs, but those probably don't work either. Wally: That's just mean.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags 10 thousand hours, genetic makeup, laziness, million hours, become an expert

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Alice: People used to think it took 10,000 hours of practice to become an expert. But now people think the amount of practice you need depends on your genetic makeup. So you'd be good to go after a million or so hours. Wally: See why I don't bother?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags illness, laziness, sitting disease, sit all day, bad health, safety more eimportant, drink coffee instead

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Wally: I've got a bad case of something the experts call "sitting disease." Studies show that people who sit all day for their jobs have 40% greater chance of dying in the next three years. Company policy says safety is more important than productivity, right? Boss: Um... sort of. Wally: So instead of sitting at my desk working, I plan to walk around and drink coffee. For safety reasons. Boss: GO sit at your desk or you're fired. There's a good chance this problem will resolve itself within three years.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, laziness, shortcuts, lazy, business

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Wally: Experts say lazy employees are the best because they know how to find shortcuts. Boss: So you found a lot of shortcuts? Wally: Me/ No. I'm not lazy. I'm useless. Boss: Then why did you bring it up? Wally: Why wouldn't I? I"m not lazy.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags executives, laziness, managers & supervisors, famous leaders, copy, 16 hrs a day, reading about industry, leaders eat cake, business

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Dogbert: I have studied the practices of famous leaders so you can copy them. First, work sixteen hours every day. Boss & CEO: Sixteen hours?? Dogbert: And in your spare time, you should be reading about your industry to stay current. Boss & CEO: Reading??? Dogbert: Oookay. This isn't working. Suppose I told you that famous leaders eat a lot of cake? That took a creepy turn.