Losers Comic Strips - Page 4

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40 Results for Losers

View 31 - 40 results for losers comic strips. Discover the best "Losers" comics from Dilbert.com.

Planning To Lose

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Planning To Lose - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags failure, insulting, planning, business plan, plan for failure, losers, angry, same page

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Dilbert: If our business plan fails, do we have a plan for that? Boss: Only losers plan for failure. Dilbert: I think we're on the same page, but for some reason you're angry about it.

Emotionally Manipulative Robot

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Emotionally Manipulative Robot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags evil, manipulation, manipulative, manipulative behavior, robot, technology gone bad, upgrade, killing machine

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The Emotionally Manipulative Robot. Robot: People who are not losers buy memory upgrades for their robots. Only upgrade me if it's what you want. But if you don't, there's a very good chance I'll turn into a killing machine. Man: I guess I'll upgrade. Robot: I'm okay either way. It's totally up to you.

Deserve Is For Losers

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Deserve Is For Losers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deserve, loser, sympathy, Advice

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Tina: I didn't get the promotion I deserved. Alice: Deserve is a loser word used by losers when they lose. Tina: Whose side are you on? Alice: The winning side. Was that unclear?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags reasoning, excuse, leadership, Promotion, promote

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Boss: I can't promote you because you didn't have an impact on anything important. Dilbert: How can I have an impact on important things when you put me on unimportant projects? Boss: That sounds like an excuse. Dilbert: What's the difference between an excuse and a great reason? Boss: It depends who says it. Leaders have great reasons when things don't work out, but losers just have excuses. Dilbert: So... you can turn my excuses into great reasons by promoting me? Boss: No, because I can't promote you. Dilbert: That sounds like an excuse.

Wanting More Out Of Life

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Wanting More Out Of Life - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, laziness, wisdom, ambition

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Asok: Do you ever want more out of life? Wally: That's how losers think. If you always want more, you can never be happy with what you have. Asok: I can't tell if you're wise or lazy. Wally: I know. It took me years to find that sweet spot.

Dogbert Throws Penalty Flag

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Dogbert Throws Penalty Flag - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags alice, the boss, asok, Wally, Dilbert, accomplish, addicted, apps, fortnite, slept, losers, podcast

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Alice: I accomplished nothing this week because I'm addicted to apps on my phone. I haven't slept in three days because of my "Fortnite" habit. The Boss: What about the rest of you losers? Asok: Shhh. I got a one-ear podcast going here.

Award For Cutting Costs

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Award For Cutting Costs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ceo, award, cutting, costs, department, underfunded, losers, awards, help

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CEO: I am proud to give you this award for cutting costs more than any other department. Dilbert: All of our projects failed because they are underfunded. CEO: How do you put up with these losers? The Boss: The awards help.

Bitter Losers

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Bitter Losers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, idea, lying, managers & supervisors, office workers, Promotion

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Boss: I'm promoting Ted for coming up with a genius idea to reduce our software expenses. Dilbert: That was actually my idea. All Ted did was tell you it was his idea. Boss: How do you put up with these bitter losers? Ted: The promotion helps.

Consultant Gets No Help

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Consultant Gets No Help - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, lazy, managers & supervisors, selfish, stupid

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the new consultant: none of your department heads are cooperating with me. several are selfish, lazy and stupid, while others are actively working against me. maybe you could talk to them. ceo: i hired you so i wouldn't need to talk to losers.

Loser Detector

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Loser Detector - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, invention, losers, accurate, detection, pings, backwards, sarcasm

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in meeting room. dogbert: i invented a device that can detect losers. boss: how do i know if it's accurate? dogbert: point it at a know loser and see if it pings. boss pointing it at employees: boss: hey! it knows ted is a loser! ha ha ha!!! it says dilbert and alice are losers too! and carol and wally too! ha ha ha!!! this thing is totally accurate! dogbert: you're holding it backward. boss: how exactly does it detect losers? dogbert: they're the ones who hold it backward.